


Patient 401

by pnkln



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Boyfriends, Brotherly Bonding, Father-Son Relationship, Gay Character, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-01-01 04:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 47,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18329105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pnkln/pseuds/pnkln
Summary: Six foot, turkish-german, caribbean eyed beauty Eren Jaeger is a doctor in training. Attending his third year of Blue Spring University in Washington State. His home state.  Grisha Jaeger, world famous doctor for creating bounds of curse for various diseases, but hasn't quite constructed the cure for the worst diseases in the world: cancer.Eren intends to fix that.Levi Ackerman, a certain nobody with a more creative path. Creative writing, novels; not articles about celebrities. Levi has been put in charge to write an article on the ups and downs of the Jaeger men outside of their work and, really, the entire public eye. Here's one teeny-tiny downsideL Levi absolutely adores the Jaeger family. He doesn't intend to actually finish it, but when he comes in contact with Eren Jaeger for the first time, will he cower away or embrace his assignment?





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> not all of this is completely accurate, but I hope you do enjoy!!!  
> my chapters tend to be very long, like 1.5-3.9k words. beware lol.  
>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i made a playlist for the book, it's collaborative! so if you want to add songs that match the setting or feel, you can! 
> 
>  
> 
> patient401

Ah, what a beautiful day it is to wear another hoodie and boots. The rain just won’t stop, and isn’t it supposed to rain in April the most? Like, April showers bring May flowers? Not showers for five days out of the week and everything dies because it’s flooded.

He steps out of the shower and dries his hair, walking out of his bathroom to see his roomie, Harvey, already arguing with his girlfriend on the phone.

“Oh yeah? Good to know, don’t call me later then.” Harvey angrily says, tossing his phone on the counter.

Eren just looks over with a blank stare, pouring some cereal then sitting at the bar. “Rough night?”

He looks over to the taller male as he sits, shoving his mouth with the breakfast.

“Maybe. She’s just so mean sometimes, like I know girls are but she’s just very controlling.” He continues on, only for Eren to hum or nod in acknowledgment.

He isn’t really listening, he’s heard it all a hundred times. He just scrolls through his social media and likes whatever photos he deems likeable. An occasional good meme that hasn’t been reposted by the same bullshit pages controlled by the same person—most likely.

“I’ve got a class to get to. Will you be home when i get back?” Harvey slips on his black thick coat, looking over to Eren.

“Maybe, Mikasa really wanted me over for a couple hours. Might stay the night there.” He answers, putting his bowl in the dishwasher.

“Alright just text me then.”

He doesn’t say goodbye or have a good day, because they’re close enough friends they just _know_ without even saying. Eren pulls the carhartt hoodie over his head and grabs his backpack. Stuffing it with his laptop, chargers and his two notebooks, he walks out of the small home and down the wet sidewalk.

He lives in the city, he’s never had the thought to buy a vehicle. That, and he enjoys walking. It gives him something to do because he barely gets to go out. He spends ninety percent of his time in the hospital and then the other ten goes to his studies and degrees.

He enters starbucks, ordering his usual coffee with so many sugars it should keep him awake for ten years. He stands on his phone, typical of him. To be so consumed in his media he barely hears the barista call his name for the coffee.

“Oi.” He hears a deep voice beside him, bumping shoulders on accident. “My apologies.”

Eren blankly looks over to the much shorter male, giving an excused smile and picked up the coffee.

He walks along the oddly crowded streets, rain shouldn’t invite so many into the streets. The sound of the water tapping the ground in a morning pour is somewhat comforting, but what isn’t comforting is the amount of water his bag is bound to soak up.

He picks up the pace, turning down the alleyway that is always covered and takes that to the hospital. It’s ten minutes away from his house, but stopping to grab a coffee had made it fifteen.

Eren finally enters the hospital with squeaky boots and tosses the hood down, immediately receiving the text from his professor.

 _text: prof. strickland_  
_you passed your exam, you are done with my class for the rest of the sem. if you want extra participation grade, join the next 4 classes held on saturdays. i hope you like your job at the hospital!_

His professors have always been so supportive, despite his name they’ve always looked at him as a normal student.

He doesn’t respond right away, as he bumps into one of his friends.

“Jaeger-bomb.” Conner smirks, “Jeez, why you keep getting so tall?”

Eren chuckles. “Because my dad is tall.”

“At this point, I’d believe your dad was a giant.”

His father isn’t dead, he’s just not around as much as he should be. He’s very active in the medical field, which is why doctors and Eren’s professors have such high hopes in him.

Grisha Jaeger is a world famous doctor for creating vaccines to help eliminate certain diseases for good. They will of course keep popping up in other people, but one treatment and it’s done. He’s been working for years on a treatment that actually works for cancer patients, but so far all have been an absolute failure.

Eren hopes he can change that.

“Jaeger, you’re needed in room 401.” Gena, a receptionist, hands over the clipboard.

Eren looks over the pages, “What happened to Luna?”

She smiles. “She left you this.” She hands over the small box with decorative child things. “She left last night. I meant to call but it was around eleven. Thought you’d be sleeping.”

He smiles at her. “Thanks for looking out there, because I was. But I hope to see her under better circumstances, she was my favorite.”

“As you were hers.”

The brunet walks to the elevator and goes up to the third floor, prepared for what this child’s illness may be.

He made sure to go to the doctors lounge to put his things up, finding his scrubs neatly folded in his locker no doubt thanks to Craig. He pulls out the black pants and white coat, he doesn’t necessarily need to remove his hoodie at the moment and he doesn’t want to. It’s damn cold in this place.

He pulls his hair back into the man bun it seems to always be in, and heads down the halls. The walls are coated in different drawings, activity lists and photographs of cured cancer patients. It’s adorable to him. Then, he spots the photograph of him, his parents and brother.

They’re a respected family, Eren just wishes he wasn’t so closely watched sometimes so he could actually do things.

“Miss Krueger.” He knocks his knuckles against the open door, looking at the tubes in her nose. “How are you this morning?”

The blue eyed girl smiles widely, “Good! Look Eren, I made this!” She holds up a little plate with--is this macaroni elbows? He giggles, looking at the cute painted background of bees and flowers with various colored elbows around to add a 3D texture.

“You like art?” He questions, she nods eagerly. “What kind?”

She hums, “I like paintings. They’re pretty.”

His smile doesn’t fade, “I’ll bring you some to put up in here. How’s that sound?”

“Really?!” She nearly squeals, and he smiles with a soft nod. She stood on her bed and jumped, “THAT IS AMAZING!”

Eren laughs aloud, “Yeah, it is.”

He leaves the room after bonding with the small girl for twenty minutes. Jenna Krueger, that’s her name. He found that she has some lung cancer, stage two. It seemed awfully high for her being just eight years old, but after learning what kind of treatment she had for most years of her life, it makes sense.

“It’s so sad.” Annie whines in the lunchroom downstairs, munching on her salad. “Decon is _so_ sweet, and his parents can’t afford the surgery. Why do kids have to endure this?”

Pieck shrugs, stuffing her face with the nasty cheese sticks--that she supposedly loves. “Well, why does anyone have to endure anything?”

“Your cryptic ass needs some coffee.” Eren says as he sits down, whipping his phone out to check his notifications.

Most are people-very random people-requesting to follow his social media. He is a sweet person, but there is a reason his accounts are private.

“Aiii, you’re such a weiner!” Pieck furrows her brows, “Craig still doing your laundry?” She suddenly asks, catching those carribean eyes.

“If he is, then so what?” He raises a brow, “It’s his decision _and_ it saves me fifty cents.”

Annie nearly chokes on her leafs, damn vegetarian. She laughs through a mouth full, staring at a perplexed Pieck. The brunette just tosses her hands up, ignoring the male as he smirks in victory.

Craig, their doctor friend that graduated school just a year ago and also happened to be Eren’s long term boyfriend. Not as long anymore, since they called it quits several months ago.

By several, it’s actually five. Eren doesn’t care for it, he’s the one that wanted to end their nearly five year relationship. But there are reasons for everything  

“Is fifty cents worth that? He could just be dipping it in pig piss and then tossing it in the garden to make it smell good.” She counters, taking a drink of her coffee that Eren had placed there when he arrived.

He shrugs, “Who am I to keep him from doing things he likes?”

“Boys, stop it.” Connie sits down, “I can hear you two arguing in the toilet, shut it down.” Connie’s so proper it kills them with laughter.

Eren returns to his small meal and phone, scrolling through the people who’ve requested to follow him. So. Many. People! He mentally slaps himself for looking, but then there’s one name with a couple of his friends following. See, this is why he needs to follow mutual friends first because he’ll never find them.

 _Levi? Sounds like an old man’s name._ He thinks to himself, opening his page.

 _leviiackermann -- 25 posts, 2,903 followers, 503 following_.

Wow, who’s this kid? It seems he posts a lot of writing, and Eren doesn’t hesitate to check it out.

 _I never knew what love felt like_  
_I never knew what death felt like_  
_The love I had for you still burns_  
_Burning like the wildfire_  
_That killed us both._  
_The love I had still burns_  
_As if I am Romeo and you are Juliet_

 _I_   _would steal for you_  
_And call it love_  
_I would kill for you_  
_And call it love_  
_I would die for you_  
_And call it_  
_My undying love_  
_To you._

Wow, very deep. Who hurt him so badly he wrote this? He doesn’t knock it, but he couldn’t ever imagine _that_ face feeling _those_ words. He has a youthful glow, like he’s still seventeen but the light scruff and sharper jawline and nose make him appear older.

The funniest part is, in his bio, he states he’s five three and a half.

The half definitely counts.

But he also has the same surname as Mikasa, so it sparked his interest. He confirmed it and immediately followed back if most of his friends already follow the dude.

After that, he continued his day.

Jenna is his main patient, the one he’s bound to spend day and night here with.  

He walks down the hall after lunch, Pieck to his side as they head towards room 401. Pieck doesn’t say much to Eren, she hasn’t said very much since her and Zeke broke up. It was emotional, but they all got through it.

“Does she have emergency contacts other than the parents?” Pieck questions as she looks through the file. “She ought to.”

Eren looks over, “I suppose she should. I got word her parents happen to be here. Did you know she’s Eren Krueger’s granddaughter?”

She looks at him with round eyes, “Are you serious?”

He frowns, “I rang my dad up earlier, spoke to the both of them about her condition so far.”

“Aren’t these her adoptive parents?”

“Foster parents. Krueger sent his son to rehab and apparently Ryker divorced her mother. Supposed to be there for eight months and then in a group home until he’s got stable income and all that.” He explained.

“Never thought Ryker was so bad in drugs.”

“It wasn’t even him that started it, I remember time and time again he would call Zeke for help with Jenna’s mom.” He began to whisper as they got closer to the cracked door, “But let’s just hope Jenna doesn’t have to endure that shit no more.”

He enters the room with the woman beside him, seeing the little girl on the bed with her possible foster brother and who he assumes the foster parents to the left.

“Hey, I’m Eren Jaeger, and this is Pieck.” He shakes hands with the light haired woman.

“Ai, you’re Grisha Jaeger’s son?” The tall male asked with a soft smile.

Eren nods, “Yes sir, I’m going to be Jenna’s regular nurse. Pieck will also be regular if I’m unable to tend to Jenna right away.”

“I’m Kensa, this is Kenny, my husband.” The woman said, motioning to the darker hair and more aged man. “We’re her foster parents, but between you and I--we’ve already planned on adopting her.”

Eren furrows his brows, but plasters a smile to cover his concern. “That sounds amazing, I’m glad you’re giving her a good home.”

Pieck nudged Eren with her elbow, the boy nods to himself and clears his throat. “We’re not going to be in here long, just wanted to ask a couple basic questions and put it in file.”

Kensa and Kenny nod.

Pieck rolls the little table closer to her and Eren, whipping out a pen to write their answers down. “First off, I see she has no other emergency contacts but you two. Can we ask that you give us work numbers, or close relatives that can and will answer?”

Eren was suddenly interrupted by a phone buzzing in his pocket, whipping it out to see his mother. “Excuse me just one second.”

Pieck continued the questionnaire, since she doesn’t really need Eren there to do it.

“Hey, what’s up?” He answers his mom.

“Where are you at, bubba?”

He furrows his brows, “Children’s, mom. Why?”

“No reason, your father was coming back from Arkansas and I was going to ask if you or Zeke could drive to get him. I’ve been busy with Martin.”

Martin, ah yes, the little brat that lives next door and can’t do math and science for shit. So Carla tutors him and gets paid big bucks.

“I’ll give Zeke a call, but just should get an uber. They’re easier.”

“He doesn’t like uber, Eren, you know this.”

“I don’t like it either but I still use it if I have to.”

“Alright.” His mother says annoyed, he can see her rubbing her temple in frustration with her hard headed son. “Give your brother a call and then text or call me back so I know, and alert your dickhead father.”

He nearly cackled, “What did he do this time?”

She laughs, “Well, what didn’t he do is the question. I’ve gotta run, we’re learning how to subtract decimals.”

He smiles to himself, “Have fun.”

He enters the room to find Pieck had already written down most of their answers, so he sat on the edge of the bed and helped Jenna with her shapes. She’s eight, she knows how to do them, but sometimes cancer affects the child’s memory. He picks up her little bear, it’s a white polar bear looking thing, brown nose and blue eyes.

His own flicker up to meet her focused stare on the pages in front of her, “Whatcha working on?”

She peeks up, “This is my reading for school. I don’t know how to use this word.”

Eren turns the page just slightly enough to see what she’s doing. Is this a spelling list? “Um, which word?” She points at the page, covering the word actually. He smiles, removing her hand and examining it. “Babbling? You use it when someone is speaking unclearly or too fast. Or a toddler trying to talk. Do you get it?”

She gives that so-so nod, so he goes into further detail by writing down different examples on a sheet of paper. He does it for every word she doesn’t really know how to use, but it doesn’t bother him.

After fifteen minutes, he realized he was the only one in the room. “Hm, where’d everyone go?” He asks her.

“You’re the adult.” She points her index finger at him with sass. He chuckles, ruffling her hair. “Ai! My uncle does that too!”

He smiles, “Well, what an awesome uncle you must have then. I’ll be back later.”

He bumps into Pieck, noticing the three were out here chatting. She dismisses them and walks alongside Eren.

“I got Mikasa as an emergency contact?” She says in a questionable tone, earning the same look from Eren. “I know, but it turns out she’s quite close to the family even if she isn’t direct. Like, Kenny’s niece or something. Third niece. Is that a thing?”

Eren could almost laugh, she works with DNA and in a hospital, she ought to know these things. Instead, he just gives her a look. “You should probably put that stuff in the system.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She agrees with a light-hearted laugh.

He watches the much shorter woman walk into her office and input her information. The work day has gone by so fast, and he has yet to check in with his teachers. No lectures today or anything he needed to be there for, which is quite odd. He usually clocks out around five to meet Harvey or someone for dinner, but it’s eight.

The latest he’s stayed in a while. He enters the lounge, clocking out and stripping of the work clothes. He slips on the jeans he wore previously and his boots. It seems the rain had stopped several hours ago, but it’s gloomy and dark.

And he has to go to Mikasa’s.

“Hey, you need a ride tonight?” He heard Connie wlak up behind him.

He runs a hand through his hair, “Yeah, I’m not walking in that shit.”

The two laugh casually as they gear up to leave the hospital. Connie rambled on about a couple of children he watched today, it’s very wholesome they chose to work in a field that solely helps children and battle their wars with them. Though they are getting that medical degree, they’re choosing to help kids.

They don’t complain as much as adults do.

Eren feels a bit out of place when it comes to his friend group, number one reason being: he works more than the rest. Not in a conceited tone, he just does statistically. He has more hours, more work, he does a lot more. He complains sometimes, but if it’s for the better of mankind then so be it.

He hops in Connie’s car and slouches, but not without earning a bit of a warning from him.

“Sasha’ll kill me if you move her seat, so try not to get too uncomfortable.” He says as he starts the car, pulling out of the parking garage.

“Seems a bit odd she claims _it_ , but hasn’t claimed _you_.” He input, earning a huff from the shaved down man. “It’s true.”

“I don’t need her to love me. I love her, and if Jean makes her happy then whatever.” He says in a near mumble, clearly trying to avoid the subject.

“Whatever you say, mate.” Eren repeats it once more in a low whisper as he looks out the window, staring at the city lights he’s seen a thousand times. How weird is it to be back here in Blue Spring? Too weird. He stayed in Calabasas with Harvey, Craig and a few others for so long for school--he had forgot how otherworldly this place seems to him.

Connie pulls into Mikasa’s almost packed driveway, and the two enter the home. Eren immediately hears the gang playing what he assumes is either Mortal Kombat or Mario Cart.

“Ai!! You’re playing without us?!” Connie whines, taking his rightful spot beside his best friend.

Sasha smirks, “You took so long, we weren’t going to sit here and twiddle our thumbs.”

Armin nods in agreement. “How was your shift?” He changes the topic while Jean, Mikasa and Sasha continue playing.

Connie sighs, “I didn’t get any new patients. I’m still watching the rugrats in section B.”

“Luna Bug went home last night, but I was granted with an equally as wonderful patient. She’s so bright, but the downside is she has lung cancer.” Eren frowns, “I don’t know why I get the toughest patients. Almost like they’re expecting me to be the same as my father.”

Jean clicks his tongue with a sound of disapproval. “Nobody expects anything but greatness from you, so if your greatness is your dad--you need to check yourself.”

“Yeah, like, if your old man is who you aspire to be then. . wait.” Connie cut himself off, thinking over his words more carefully.

Mikasa rolls her eyes, “I think he means you should strive to be better than Grisha, Eren.” She softly spoke, “And you do, because you’re going to do bigger things.”

He smiles softly, his friends never fail to make him feel better. Yet, in his heart, he knows he will never be anything more than his father or brother. Zeke being a businessman and owning half of Blue Spring, he’s a millionaire just like their father.

His thoughts were sidetracked as Sasha passed the wheel to Eren, and he was jumped straight into a banana trap.

“Oh, you’re going down.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the poem in there is mine, lol. v proud of it. and I LOVE how I'm kind of portraying Levi in the next chapter. I hope y'all like it !


	2. Levi's Anxiety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these are such long chapters why am i like this omg okok enjoy <3  
> aLSO! i dread rushing my work so there won't be as many 'frequent' updates, but i'll try to post every weekend with something new! ah this is exciting 
> 
> okok here's the link for the spotify since it didn't fkn work the first time 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/sydneyglassxoxo12/playlist/0mCGFpsnVOtXzuNUYF8nQW?si=DMpIvnw6QXGyyAvpaOrzNA

Levi struts across the lot, cursing himself for being late and having to park so far away from the entrance, and for not thinking about the parking garage. He’s shivering in his thin Hollister jacket he mostly wears for looks, but it’s just so damn comfortable.

“Ma was right, it’s damn colder than a witches tiddy.” He mutters to himself, somewhat disappointed he even had the nerve to go against her judgement. He wraps his arms around his torso and tugs at the straps of his backpack, the oh-so-heavy bag with books of poetry and basic understanding of english. How much has he spent on things he could just find on wikipedia? Too much.

He enters the main building with a relieved sigh, somehow the warmth had made him colder. His lips chap up and he applies what one would assume is too many layers of Chapstick to his lips. His eyes filter around the main building he's been in too many times one person should be. The main building is just that: a building. It's nothing exciting; where the dean's office is, then the student aide's travel back and forth, receiving and giving. Or, is a student aide what that's called? Student teacher? Levi doesn't give two thoughts about it.

He's exceptionally energetic at nine in the morning, but at least he doesn't have any real classes besides the journalism class he's about to attend and the meeting with his friends around five. Is friends the appropriate term? Friends. Friends he sees maybe three times a week if he's lucky, grabbing the time in between writing a dozen manuscripts and pouring his heart into shitty poetry. The one he posted recently isn't one he feels _so_ content with sharing in the world. 

He bumps into the one friend he absolutely adores, but annoys him to no extent.

“Levi!” Hange nearly makes him fall to the floor with her jump scares.

“Are you beginning to stalk me now?” He questions, tugging the sleeves over his knuckles.

She chuckles, running a hand through her hair. “You have your location on, but let’s go ahead and say I managed to watch you walk all the way from your beetle in the sweet cold air.” She poked fun at his convertible, but it’s a damn good car in his opinion. “Ai!” She laughs, clapping her hands like a seal. “It’s small, just for you!”

He scrunches his nose with distaste for her jeer, entering the classroom only twelve other people share with him and his friend. He manages to land a spot besides his two best friends since childhood, Farlan and Isabel.

He sighs, joining in their conversation.

“Levi, have you ever watched _Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron_?” Farlan asked with aggravation.

He shrugs, shaking his head.

“See! I’m not the only uncultured one.” Isabel counters with her index finger pointing accusingly.

Levi laughs, “Uncultured? You’ve lost your mind, Farlan. Imagine if I said I’d never seen The Iron Giant, now that would be a doozy.”

Farlan smiles, sarcastically replying. “Oh, how educated you are in animated art.”

“Uh, technically, isn’t all art animated?” Isabel asks, earning a confused look from the boys. “I mean, like, because--everything is like 3D or whatever.”

“You’re losing it, Belle.” Bertolt sat down, “And if it’s on paper or canvas, it’s a 2D print. On television the images are 2D, it’s animation and real life. 3D manipulates the way the brain perceives the world. It sends visual information and your eyes overlap each image to form one. Bizzare, innit?” The three stare at him, almost baffled that he can recite such information on the spot. He’s always been this way, he is the walking google, or bing. Whichever web browser one prefers, Levi personally enjoys using Bing.

“Have you ever questioned your sanity?” Farlan cups his cheek, “I mean, I would die if I remember useless shit like that.”

Bertolt smirks, “Wasn’t so useless when you _brainiacs_ are discussing if all art is three dimensional or not.”

Levi stares at his phone, staring at one page in particular. He's been tapping the 'message' button far too many times for well over a week now. He just can't seem to get passed that burdening anxiety. He's been backtracking, losing confidence here and there and tossing his phone on the table when it frustrates him. It's weird, losing that feel all over one person, or rather one assignment. He keeps reminding himself he doesn't really have to do this, he will pass the class without turning in the article because it wasn't mandatory. 

However, the Angel on his shoulders screams a different remark. 

 _He's a kid, just like you! You still don't have the decency to treat him like a human? He hasn't done anything extraordinary yet. How can you not message him for a simple meet?_  

It's a bit easier said than done, it's always like that. The end result of this entire assignment, is one lucky person gets to be in the Daily. The news source for campus and really, all of Blue Spring. It doesn't seem that bad. If only people his age read it and cared, what can they get from a newspaper they can't get from an immediate source like the deep web? 

All Levi has to do, is ask for an interview of some sort. Then, they can carry on with their lives, but Eren is somebody he looks up to. It's strange, the boy hasn't done anything extraordinary. Some part of him hoped Eren would somehow remember him. Why? Levi had many attempts at befriending Eren, the only thing is--Eren moved before he could. He remembers on the sunniest day, they had pizza for lunch and played outside for an hour, then put on some movie and the teacher announced Eren Jaeger wouldn't be attending class any longer. A thought passed in his mind later, Eren would no doubt forget who all these kids were, and the excusable smile he gave in Starbucks the other week just approves that. 

He returns back to the real world, real time. All he has to do now is figure up an outline of questions and what he needs to know to write a damn good, eye catching article about the Jaeger family. 

"Levi. Mrs. Rachel needs you in her office." The student teacher, Miena, taps Levi's shoulder. 

The raven looks up with round eyes, stumbling out of his seat and walking slowly towards the back of the room where the professor's offices usually are. The professor, though sweet she is, can be very straightforward with her expectations and her needs. At least he can count on her to be very honest with him. He knocks on the wide open door, and she invites him in with a silent nod of the head. 

Although, his anxiety gets the best of him. "Did I forget to proofread? I swear it's a problem." The boy kept making up excuses, feeling a raging blush center his chest and creep upwards. 

"No, Levi." She sighs, getting him to shut up. "Actually, your proofreading is better than most students. Good work." She flatly praises, "It's been two weeks. Are you going to do the article or not?" 

She’s a very straightforward woman, he admires that about her. He stutters, of course, trying to come up with a reasonable answer.

"I only expect the most from you because of your family name, but it's a burden to keep such a weighty responsibility on your shoulders. Isn't it?" Her somewhat wrinkly hands push up the bridge of her thin nose to adjust the wired frames, thin lips forming a solid line. "You already know this won't negatively impact your grade if you don't do it. But if you change your mind, do let me know." 

With that, he dismisses himself and walks out of the room with a bit more tension resting on his shoulders than what he went in with. The Ackerman's: they're smart, loyal, trustworthy, funny, ridiculously attractive no matter how old they get. They were also a clan of warriors, they'd carried the king on their shoulders. How is that Levi only checks off two of three of those standards? 

He's smart, on occasion. He's loyal to those he trusts. He isn't particularly funny, but he manages. He's seen himself in the mirror, he's average. He doesn’t have the muscles like his uncle Kenny or his brother, the stunning eyes like his mother--even though they’re exactly the same--and is terribly fucking short. Five foot three, who? Levi knows them very well.

Class moves fast, much faster than intended. Mrs. Rachel wasn't very active and allowed the students to work on whatever they need to, she wasn't in her right mind today. The gang--Bert, Farlan, Isabel, Hange--leave to the halls and socialize there just like they did in high school. The walls are covered with different bulletins and activity lists, then some were activities that people can only be invited to. The most privileged get into those. 

“I’ve stanned Ariana Grande since Victorious, okay?” Isabel cocks a brow, giving Harvey a look. “Ari is my God.”

“Sweetener didn’t really do it for me.” Bert leans back a little, “Dangerous Woman is by far her best album.”

Levi raised a brow, is this what his friends really talk about in their spare time? He wishes he paid more attention. He didn’t listen to music with the intentions of critiquing it. He just listens. “What even is a stan?” He asks with furrowed brows.

Farlan looks over, “Do you not remember that Eminem song about a crazy fan, Stan? Well, that’s basically what ‘hardcore’ fans are.”

“You’re a hardcore fan of a pop singer?” Levi looks over to his redhead friend. “How can you head bang to that shit?”

“It isn’t _shit_ , Levi.” She growls. “I don’t have to form a mosh pit, unlike you.” He tossed his hands up in defeat, he does enjoy that type of music. “But we also got a new assignment, did you check your email?”

Levi shakes his head, “What is it?" He whips his phone out to view the assignment. "We just can't stop reading can we?" He stares at the title, he could definitely get an audiobook on this. He also would not have actually read it if there was no attachment to it. On the other hand, the thing wouldn't be so difficult if they all worked together. But, most have started on their journalism assignment, or have other courses and most of all--bills. Being a college student is even more work than being an adult. 

The sun bleeds through the grey clouds after a long morning of drizzle and dimness. The grounds are wet, but when are they not? It’s really rare to get a good day in Blue Spring. Levi has never aspired to leave his home, mostly because: where would he go? Who would he go with? He's had dreams of visiting the east coast and seeing if it's any different, maybe South Carolina. Warmth, sun, it's what he needs. 

Lunch time rolls around. He and Isabel walk towards his car while shooting a text to the group of where they're going. Last he recalled, Farlan and Hange were working on science--the fucking nerds they are--and Bert had to work. It saddens him just how different their schedules are now, how different their lives are. Remembering being able to skip last period on Friday's and they'd all hold up at Bert or Levi's house until the next Monday. They were kids then, now they're becoming working adults. The things they despised, yet had so looked forward to after getting in fights with their moms after hitting puberty. 

"I see you've been hesitating on asking Eren for an interview." Isabel buckles in, bringing one knee to her chest as usual. 

Levi keeps his eyes on the road, "Who said I'm hesitating and just not wanting to do it?"

She switches on the radio, turning up a bit of Taylor Swift, humming. "That's an excellent point if you were anyone else. But Eren is like. . I don't know, your stupid idol. I mean, he's never done anything grand in our lifetime, he's just got the Jaeger name. And went to that dumbass fancy school in Cali." She rants. 

He knows she's only saying that because she's jealous. He's her family, and her parents grind about how great they want her to be. But she's right, he only idolizes him because of the name. Eren's not some bland person, either. He's quiet, so utterly quiet it gets on the public's nerves. He's seen plenty of articles about the silent Jaeger, the one who hides from the public eye and doesn't do anything controversial to fuck up his family's reputation.

"You're just mad." He mumbles as he turns into the part of town every restaurant lies on. "But it doesn't matter if I'm hesitant to ask him or whatever, I just won't do the thing and there'll be nothing to worry about."

"Except your mom would be disappointed." She counters, and he sends her a glare. "Sorry, but it's better to do things than not to." 

"Isn't it just supposed to be easier not to do them?" He asks with furrowed brows. 

She hums, nodding. “Yeah, always is.”

To their surprise, Farlan and Hange had made it to Pizza Station just in time. The pair walk up with them, laughing and carrying on as friends do. As soon as they walk in, they notice there's not as many people as there is cars. So they score a booth by the window. 

Before they could even breathe, Isabel is already melting. "Shit, shit, shit!" Had nobody noticed the way she tucked her chin into her chest, they would've thought she'd seen some weird 'shit' on social media. This is her trying to hide from somebody. 

“What is it?” Hange asks, “Aw, is your crush here?"

She scowls, speaking in a hushed tone. “Speaking of the devil, Levi-- _Eren_ is here.” The three turn to search the small pizza place, noticing him and a couple of his friends sitting at a table closer to the kitchen. “Maybe now is the perfect time to ask him, yeah?”

“You still haven’t talked to him?!” Farlan whisper shouts. “Man, you’re better than that.”

“I came here to eat. Can we do that?” He raised a brow, and they drop it. The statement Farlan made didn't really set well in him, the anxiety bubbling in him like a bubble blowing baby.

“So, Farlan and I found out we can manipulate cells. Pretty exciting, huh?” She leans in, “It’s nothing like doctor Jaeger’s work, but I’m sure if we practice at it then we can get there.”

“How does one manipulate the cells in our body? Don’t we always keep producing them?” Isabel asks. “And also, since we’re always reproducing them, how can we rid diseases?”

Hange shrugs, “Whatever doctor Jaeger's doing is working really well. I’ve noticed a significant decrease in illnesses like pneumonia and mono. Things like the flu and sore throat still exist. Imagine if he heals all of that.”

“You never answered my question.”

“Every seven years we become new people, essentially. Every cell in our bodies would have been replaced by the end of that period, which is really fucking creepy.” Farlan explains.

“His operation lasts for two days.” The group is interrupted by a male voice, seeing the tall brunet with his friends. “Sorry, overheard and thought it was an interesting topic. But my dad's surgery on cell replacement, it lasts however long it takes to create cells identical to the body. Usually, he would drain most of the body fluids and that would leave most cells trying to fight to keep the body running. Then, he injects the cells. Most only last two days, though." 

The four look at him with curiosity, but Isabel masked it with annoyance. Once again, one upped by her smarter cousin, but how was she supposed to know about this? She's not going to be a doctor. "Do you know how to do the surgery?" 

 He shrugs. "I've watched several times, but I'm not equipped for that type of work yet. I still have to graduate." His conversations with her are so casual, mostly because they grew up together and did almost everything together. She's the closest thing he had to a sister. But even though he's talking to her like he always has, it annoys her. 

"Oh, we've got to go." A brunette speaks beside him, and he nods. 

"Nice to see you again, Isabel." He says quietly, waving to her friends. They return the gesture, and suddenly a weight had lifted off Levi's shoulders. 

* * *

Levi stepped out of his shower, hearing his little brother begging to come in to use the bathroom. So, he quickly wraps the towel around his lower half and walks out with his clothes. He shivers from the transition to his bedroom, slamming the door in frustration. Mostly with his incompetence to message Eren and set anything up. He's a damn good writer, and he's _better than this_. Just like Farlan said earlier while he had pizza in his mouth. 

The boy stays in his bedroom he grew up in, it’s just a little less boyish and a little more grownish. Bland posters of different artists hang on the walls with a single flag that represents the LGBT community. It just seems like there isn't much else to do but stare at the Twilight poster on his ceiling. He's had it up there since he was, like, eleven. He hasn't thought to take down the nearly embarrassing portrait of the main protagonists, but the compelling and defending arguments over the series lately has died his anxiety down. 

He rolls over, picking up his phone and entering the group chat. Farlan and Hange are still up and doing their science shit, Isabel is still salty over Eren while Bert is hanging with his other friends. He's quite more different than the rest, having a few handfuls of different groups and he fits in with all of them. Levi only wishes that was him, not being so damn awkward and anxious when talking to new people. 

"Hey." He hears his mother knock on the door. His gaze shifts over with a low hum coming from his throat. "Kenny left some leftover pizza, Kensa made it." 

"I already ate." That was literal hours ago. 

He loves his mother, with everything in him, it's just, he's what most consider an adult. He may not really look like one, but his age says so. He still lives with his mom, drives the car his dad got him for his fourteenth birthday, and he doesn't work. There's absolutely nothing wrong with living with his mom, but all his friends have left the nest and live in either the dorms provided--which are top notch--or have their own place. Mikasa, his cousin, owns her own house. A house. How-no, who the hell can buy a house at nineteen? Did she rob a bank? 

The his memory clicks for the hundredth time. Her parents are _lawyers_ , they live well. Just like every Ackerman. His mother is a simple woman, she went to college, got a degree in computer science. She makes loads of money right in their living room, yet she has nothing to show for it. Levi doesn't work for most of the things he has, and Lucas isn't quite an adult. He's young, needy, but not young enough he can't provide for himself. 

She sighs, "You'd tell me if something was bothering you, right?" 

He nods, ruffling his hair with the sheets. "Of course." That's a shit lie, but she accepts as she won't bother with an argument tonight. 

"Well, I'll leave the food in the microwave if you want any later. Love you." 

Before he could even respond, she closes the door. "Love you too." 

He rolls over on his back, picking up his earbuds and his laptop. He opens his email once more to the english assignment, it's to read some crime book and write a two page summary on it. Two page? The damn book is almost seven hundred pages. He could literally ask his journalism teacher for a summary on it and she'd give it to him in four pages. Because _who the fuck can summarize that much into two fucking pages?_  

He can't focus on this, his mind keeps wandering back to Eren. Back to his stupid assignment he _does not_ have to do. Took it right from the crows feet, it won't affect his grade so he just shouldn't do it. Then, the ' _you're an Ackerman, we expect great things from you_ ,' type of shit makes him change his mind and it's a never-ending loop.

Now this is strictly just God's worst karma. He's been sitting here writing messages and erasing them in hopes of something better. 

_“hey, eren. i know it’s weird to message you so late and why i haven’t bothered to talk to you in person about it? i don’t really know. but i have an assignment due at the end of the term, which isn’t far along, and it’s about you, your brother and dad. who you are outside of the work field and public eye.”_

Should he backtrack? 

 _Ugh!_ He slaps his face with his palm, shaking his head in utter disbelief and irritation for himself. Why can’t he just ask Eren in person? The kid doesn’t bite. He's good, seems that way when talking to Isabel.

Good and kind, those are synonyms. Right? He’s majoring in English yet he can’t even distinguish what is and isn’t a synonym. At least for the moment he can’t. It isn’t everyday someone you adore follows you back on social media, has an actual conversation with you—even if it is with someone else, you were still there--and lives in the same area as you.

It just—it’s fucking fate. The universe is working in Levi’s favor but he is shit out of luck because of his goddamn anxiety. _What a pity._

He erases the message he had and starts again, he does this for another ten minutes before tossing his phone on the floor. Angry little bean, he is. He runs a hand through his hair, groaning. 

Lucas walks in through his door, earning a glare from Levi. Lucas is thirteen, with black hair and brown eyes. The brothers are particularly close, since they're both boys and can really bond over everything. But that might just also be Levi's presence always being around. If he weren't, things would be different for the brothers. 

"What's the tea, brother?"

Levi looks to his laptop, "I'm just irritated." He answers honestly. 

"Wasn't mom just in here?" He asks with a chuckle, "Is this about your stupid assignment?" 

The more that people call it stupid, the less he wants to do it. "Yeah." Lucas slides his laptop over, and the older male looks over his shoulder as he begins to type. It doesn't seem like much, but Lucas is actually helping his brother. He typed out a few different messages and slid the thing back into his view. 

"Now you have no excuse not to do it. I'm literally seven years younger and did better than you did." Their close bond doesn't stop either from insulting each other from time to time. 

Levi stares at the laptop, nodding. "Thanks, Luke." He mumbles reluctantly. "Hey, can you bring me some pizza?" 

"Am I your maid?" He stands, "Fine, give me five for sessions tomorrow." 

"Bring me the pizza and I will."  


	3. Father Jaeger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is such a SHORT chapter my apologies :,(
> 
> but !! because i already have quite a few chapters written i'm going to post a few ;)

Eren woke with the strangest DM, but was it all that strange? No, probably not. He didn’t open it right away, deciding to spend his Saturday morning with no bullshit, walking towards the kitchen only to find neither boys went grocery shopping.

He hears the door open, “Hey, does Sonic sound good? I’ve been begging to get some of those tots for a week now but nobody wants to eat those.”

The silence was bothering, and he looks up from the fridge door to see the one man he’s not seen in quite some time. Grisha smiles, setting his coat on the back of the chair and placing exactly what Eren wanted down on the counter.

“Seems you know the way to my heart.” Eren says with a smirk, opening the bag. “How’d you know I’d be home?”

“Your location is on.” He points out, chuckling. “But jokes aside, how is Jenna?”

He took a bite of the breakfast burrito, talking with a mouth full. “She’s fantastic, taking everything like a champ.” He rambled on and on senseless about the things she likes and doesn’t like. It is truly beautiful to Grisha, how his son takes the effort to get to know his patients and build a relationship with them. At least he can count on one son to fill his heart completely.

“And the blood cell test?” He asks, watching Eren carefully. He put down the slushie hesitantly, filling his mouth with a tot. “Eren, have you asked Kenny yet?” With the lack of response, Grisha releases a frustrated sigh. “I’ll be doing a round sometime this week, I expect you to ask before I get there.”

“What do you mean? How am I supposed to know when you haven’t even told me when?” Eren asks with another mouth full of food. Grisha picks up his coat and drops some cash on the counter for his son, giving him a nod as he makes his way out of the home. Well, so much for starting the morning with no bullshit. 

That’s when his roommate comes out, “Is the coast clear?” Harvey says in a hushed tone.

Eren sighs heavily, “Yeah. How much did you hear?”

The boy snickers, “I could barely understand you with a full mouth, Jaeger.”

Eren cringes at the tone. Being addressed by his last name only happened in school before he decided to pursue the medical career. His teachers didn’t like how privileged he had become due to his brother and father’s achievements. They weren’t his, and Eren accepted that. 

“Anyways, I think you should share some of those tots.” Harvey says with a creeping smirk, and Eren shakes his head. “Oh, come on!”

He rolls his eyes, “How about we drive to sonic and get some more?" 

Harvey gave a skeptical look, but washed away after he flashed that goofy smile of his. "Fine, twenty minutes and we're out this bitch!" He yells in a deep tone as he walks back to his room. 

There’s an unlimited amount of days where Eren doesn’t think about how shitty he is. Not because of his name, but because of the things he does outside of the public eye. Like, partying in Calabasas became a regular thing for him. The drugs, the drinks, the people. They’re erotic, the music was raw, the drugs were laced with various other chemicals but he didn’t give a damn. And people didn’t give a damn about his name, because he’s his own person.

Here, in the small city of Blue Spring, his name means everything to everybody.

He finishes washing his face, upper lip curling in irritation that his facial hair has grown back so quickly. He ignores it, and enters his bedroom. There’s not much to wear, most of his clothes are for warm weather, but he has a few pairs of jeans clean.

“Hm, not bad.” He took out one of his newer shirts he’s been meaning to wear but never had the chance. It's white with a purple rose on the back, one from that popular store for skaters and people who do activities. Today is clear, but the clouds are still lingering. It irritates him even more, oh how he can’t wait to move back to California after school.

“Wow, you look fancy.” Harvey's sarcasm doesn't go unnoticed, but Eren gives him a raised brow at the scarf around his neck. "It's Louis Vuitton." He says defensively. 

Eren grabs the money on the counter and the keys--that are Harvey’s, he just trusts Eren to drive--and they leave. It’s surprising Eren knows how to drive, it’s like a second nature besides medicine. He closes the door to the older car, what is this? An impala? It’s a nice car, Eren’ll admit that much.

The drive wasn’t spectacular, most Saturday mornings aren’t packed with people and the drive was quick. It made Eren eager to get there, nonetheless. He doesn’t ever dismiss the second serving of tots and a slushie.

“So, let me ask you something.” Harvey begins, earning a hum in response. “You planning to move anywhere after this?”

Eren stops at the red light, “Back to Calabasas, you?”

He shook his head, “Might as well stay. I’ve made a couple of reconnections from primary school. I just don’t see the point in leaving them behind.”

Eren shrugs. “New start means new life, I guess.”

“Is that what you want?” He questions, shuffling in the passenger seat. “I mean, everyone is here. You’d really leave Craig and everyone else?”

“Craig could mean less than shit to me.” He deadpans, “I’m sorry for being so insensitive about the topic, but nobody ever cared to ask how I was treated. How he would leave me for days on end and come back with hickeys down his throat and chest. How he would choose some backwards whore over me. Sorry, I won’t accept that treatment anymore.”

Harvey isn't completely clueless to Eren and Craig's relationship, but he didn't really know so much. The pair kept things on lock down, mostly because Craig didn't know what the hell was going on. Eren was so silent, he lived his pain in silence because he didn't want to burden anyone. Craig had stopped being friends with Harvey for the better part after school ended, when he decided to live with Eren. Eren's much easier to be friends with than Craig on any day. 

“You just want tots?” Harvey questions as he opens the door. Eren just nods, pulling his cell phone out.

Now would be a good time to look at that DM from last night.


	4. Anxiety, who? We know her.

Would he be mad if anyone else was handed this assignment? Hell yes, but better anyone else than him. He still had yet to make a list of questions and they’re to meet in exactly four days on Eren’s off day. His questions were personal, ranging from his childhood memories to his sexuality--and why the HELL would he bother asking about that?

His main goal by the end, is to get his number and text him questions during the day that he could answer before the end of the semester. That’s all that will come out of this, there will be no friendship budding or anything like that. He couldn’t ever imagine himself as Eren’s friend, he’s not good enough. Damn him and his insecurities and anxiety, the simple fact of the matter is--there’s nobody quite good enough except his own damn cousin.

After stalking both their pages and bothering to text the girl about her relationship with Eren, she gave a very flat and vague response. 

 _"I love Eren loads. He's everything to me, and he's a spectacular person."_ How fucking biased of her! Mikasa, what’s so damn good about her? She’s going to be an IT manager, she owns a house, a car, she’s living decent _BECAUSE HER DAMN PARENTS GIVE HER EVERYTHING!_  He can’t complain, his parents have always given him everything as well. They all work very hard and good, and here he is: trying to become a self-publishing author. Although, he’s too chicken-shit to put more than fifty words into the world. 

Returning back to his undoubted jealousy, why has she never brought Eren around? Is it because the Ackerman’s and Jaeger’s are two well rounded families in Blue Spring? Because mixing two high paying, smart as hell families would create some sort of rivalry like the Capulets and Montague's? Rather smart comparison, he praised himself for that one with a smile. But as soon as he looked back down to his laptop, he lost that confidence. 

“Why can’t I get this shit right!” He groans, slapping his palms against his face and tossing himself on the bed, “Ow, shit.” He whines, “I really should not have done that.” He cradled his jaw, sighing in disappointment and probably more emotions than he should be feeling at the moment. There's never really a day he doesn't feel that burdening anxiety, thinking people are looking at him weirdly or whatever. His hair, his nose, his deep under eye circles that not even color corrector could fix. 

He sometimes wishes Lucas could help him with this, he's much better at this. Mostly because his questions wouldn't be so damn personal and creepy, but something just tells him they wouldn't be so weird. Eren accepted, he was very sweet, asking if he'd rather come to his home rather than meet in a public place. Who is Levi to walk into the home of Eren Jaeger? _He said yes_. 

He said yes, and then he had a panic attack over it. 

* * *

The morning came much sooner than he thought. Levi hadn't put together a very well rounded list of questions, but his proposal of getting his number and sending questions still stands. It sounds more logical than trying to fit everything into one meeting. He had texted Bert for advice, but he was shit at it. Asking if it would be too professional to wear his button up under his hoodie or whatever, but Bert just said 'treat him like a human.' 

Best advice, but Levi didn't really see that when he read it. He just ignored it, and went back to panicking. He had thrown up twice, bye bye to the chicken from KFC he had last night around two in the morning. He showered for an hour, but most of it had been sitting in the tub and crying. He put on Alanis Morissette and tried his hardest to get back in a much healthier mindset. Then switched it to his Disney playlist and cried some more to Tangled's _I See The Light_. Why is he like this? Why does he get so anxious around Eren? 

He runs a hand through his hair, looking at himself in the mirror. Wearing an oversized tan knit sweater and black skinny jeans and his Doc Martin's. He looks like an E-Boy, and it's annoying him. As he walks down the stairs with his bag on his shoulder, his somewhat taller brother looks down. 

"Gee, you don't have to shout to the world how gay you are." He scoffs, biting into the mango in his hand. 

Levi shoves his head as the boy sits down, grabbing the tupperware full of purple grapes and his keys. "I don't have to shout it, but you certainly may need to shout that you're straight." He says as he walks out the door, such a weak insult but his brother would certainly pout about it the entire day. 

He puts the address in his map, plugging in his phone to play some soothing and happy tunes--being Sabrina Carpenter--and follows the curves. The weather is much clearer than it has been in a good two weeks, the flowers have the room to breathe and bloom on the side of the highways. He adores nature, it's so peculiar but beautiful and outstanding. Soon enough, he arrives at the house he's sure he's been to. Is this deja vu? 

He parks behind a familiar car, shrugging off the coincidences. With one turn, the ignition shuts off and he rests his head against the seat. He attempts to reassure himself, that everything is going to be okay and there's no reason to panic. He pops in an Advil and drinks down the water, attempting to sooth his raging nerves and headache. Maybe he should've poured some vodka in a bottle and went on his way, but his anxiety would've screamed what if something goes wrong? 

Levi pulls the bag over his shoulders and tugs his sleeves over his knuckles, approaching the covered doorway. It's beautiful, it doesn't seem that small. It's grey on the outside with pretty pillars and a couple of seats on the small piece of pavement in front. The path to the door is little rocks elevated with pink tulips sprouting around. It's beyond what he thought Eren would be like, but what expectations could he hold for the boy? He strolls up to the dark wooden door, he inhales deeply and taps his knuckles against it.

Nobody answered, maybe he should leave. 

But then--"Come in!" A voice shouts from the other side of the door. Okay, first the car, then this frighteningly familiar voice. As he walks through the doors, he can finally pinpoint why.

"Harvey?" He questions with narrow eyes. "What're you doing here?" 

The boy turns a little over his shoulder, immediately going back to his video game. "I live here, why else would I be here?" Levi's blue eyes look around the cozy home, it's not so big on the inside either. Big enough to host ten people in the living room, the kitchen is pretty. There's an open doorway with only a sheer curtain substituting for a door, and as far as he can see--it's a larger entertaining area. The floors are light washed hardwood, that grey type of hardwood. The walls are either white or a light gray, it's very aesthetic he will give it to the boys. 

He walks closer to the sofa, then Harvey got the thought to ask Levi why he's here. "My assignment, it's to interview Eren." He mumbles, somewhat embarrassed. 

Harvey smiles, "Oh is that who it was about? Now I get why you were so anxious!" He begins to chuckle, offering him a seat. "He's in the shower right now, but I'll tell him you're here." He tosses the controller on the glass table and walks down the hall, leaving Levi alone for a few more seconds. 

He may be a bit too nosey, as his eyes wander and land on a couple photo frames in the makeshift bookshelf--definitely DIY'ed. There's his cousin, Eren and some blond boy he's only seen a couple times around high school. He doesn't intend to invade their personal space, that isn't his goal, but the point of the assignment is to totally do that. His anxiety starts to bubble up again, and he can feel his stomach refusing to cooperate once again. 

"He'll be out in a sec." Harvey informs, "Chill out, Levi. He's a human, and he's not like. .bad? I don't know, just treat him like a human." He tries to reassure his shorter friend, but fails. He can understand why he's terrible at the advice, he's a bit high. 

"I just have such shitty questions." Levi scoffs. "Most are just basic, this is supposed to be about the Jaeger men and how they are outside of the work field, outside of the public eye." He seems to have to remind himself of this often when thinking of questions. 

"Then say that, he's not a hard person to bust." He chuckles, "Oh how true that is, sometimes." He loses his smile, shaking off the sudden dark emotion and looking back to his friend. "He will give you plenty of information if you just say that, he's very kind." 

As he says that, Eren walks into the living room with a hand pushing back his damp hair. A mustard yellow long sleeve with Lana Del Rey on it, it's somewhat creepy but it suits Eren. The Caribbean eyed boy plops down beside Harvey with a sigh, preparing for what's to come. 

"You okay?" Harvey asks. 

"We can chat more about it later, right now I've got guests." Eren smirks. 

"It's only one person, Eren." 

"And it's not everyday I have one person over." He says as he motions for Levi to follow him. The brunet takes him back to a small room covered in various grunge style paintings and paint tape. He looks to the egg shaped chairs hanging from the ceiling and Eren offers him a seat. He still has yet to say a single word to him, and Levi's anxiety is worse than it has been in the preparation for this moment. 

"You seem a bit frazzled, would you like a drink?" Eren asks with a soft tone, and the raven just nods. He smirks and opens the sliding doors, there's a whole ass mini fridge and mixers in there. He's amazed, he's not even twenty one yet! "Here, it's light. Enough to take the edge off." 

"Thank you." He mumbles, sipping the alcoholic beverage. It's amusing those are the first words Eren says to him; iconic really. He sets it on the table beside him, awkwardly grabbing his laptop and mumbling apologies as he opens his notes. "Okay, um, I really don't know where to start but I'm just going to say--this whole thing is about you and your father outside of the work field. I don't see what your points on mainstream music has anything to do with it. Gah, I'm sorry." 

Eren chuckles, and it doesn't very much reassure Levi. "Mainstream media isn't all that bad sometimes, but it does represent large quantities of people in a horrible light. Very sad, sometimes. How one fuck up could ruin someone's entire reputation." He remains in a serious tone, leaning back in the chair. "Although, I don't very much watch or listen to larger influencers. I'm a simple man." 

Levi had trouble keeping up, but opted to just record their session and write things down later. "How important do you believe education is? Is there a limit to what you think is important?" _They're the same question, idiot._  

Eren hums, shrugging. "I think if you want to do something then education is important, anything we do requires us to learn something. An IQ shouldn't limit someone's potential though, and I think we should definitely introduce topics like mathematics, science, and shit like that--but it should be optional if we want to learn more." 

Levi takes another drink, "You're very intelligent." He compliments, but Eren didn't say much back. "Um, how would you describe your relationship with your father?" This is where Levi paid very close attention, hoping to see some faltering but instead he received a straight face. Almost like he's practiced it. 

"He's a very good man, he's always been very active in my life despite being gone a majority of it and me being in California. My father is smart, he's taught me most of the things I know and taught me how to be a boy. He allowed me to embrace myself with arms wide open, and he doesn't disapprove of most that I do." Eren explains with a soft smile, "I love my dad."

Levi loves his dad too, but he would never be able to describe their relationship like that. "What about your brother? How far apart are you two?" 

Eren hums, "Well, when I was born he was nine. So nine years. He's smart, very smart, but because of the gap it's a bit hard to relate to a lot of things. But as I got older we managed. Not like he was totally in love with the idea of me, but he protected me and helped me when others didn't." 

Levi tapped away at his keyboard intently, looking over the list of questions once more and sighing. "My questions are really shitty." 

Eren laughs. The most genuine laughter Levi's ever heard outside of his own friend group. The skin around his eyes wrinkle up as he loses his breath, but after a second he came back down from that weird outburst. "Ah, I realize that was probably the weirdest thing. I'm sorry, but I doubt your questions are as shitty as what reporters and paps have asked me." 

Levi was suddenly given this newfound confidence, nodding. "Favorite book turned into movie?" 

"Bridge to Terabithia." 

"How come you left to California for school? What was there that isn't here?" Levi looks up, watching Eren's face fall slightly. 

"Um," He hums with furrowed brows. "The school I attended, Grayce Academy, it's a school for people who want to pursue the medical career. Any level, orthopedics, plastic surgery, or surgeon shit. My dad paid a better part of my time there, but I worked for what I had in Calabasas." 

"Would you ever return to Calabasas for long term?" 

"I plan on it after school ends." 


	5. Quite The Decision

Eren really could never have hated himself more than when he offered Levi a fucking drink. What sane and normal person under twenty one has an entire stash of alcohol--better yet, like five bottles of vodka and a mixer hidden in a closet? Eren does. 

He's quite annoyed with himself, mulling over that interaction. It replayed in his mind, and he couldn't help but laugh about it. Harvey did as well, they were on the same page but he found it more humorous than Eren did. He recalls Levi asking him towards the end, what topics he felt the most strong about coming from the medical world. Well, first would be things like adoption and abortion. 

He tried to dance around the topics as best he could, since it has become one of those controversial conversations. If a doctor pushes women to have an abortion if they can't care for the child and its likelihood of it not having a good life, then everyone would blame the doctors. Foster care and adoption is only good for children under ten, that's it. Nobody wants a near full grown child, and definitely not one that knows how the world works and is against everything and everybody that tries to show them affection; because their parents didn't want them. 

Why implant that in someone's mind? He's pro-choice, obviously. 

But then, he ranted on about more child care, and how some parents are totally irresponsible with raising their children. Example, not really caring what they're doing or who they're with, not really disciplining them when it's needed. But, some people wouldn't get by without the support from their families. 

Zeke, being successful now you'd think this is a lie, actually had an addiction. It wasn't like heroin or cocaine, no, but he would go out on weekends with his friends and do shitty things. Went to county jail a couple times, their dad would go and bail him out and repeat the process about eight or nine times before he just left it alone. It's not all on record, but he must've been in there nearly two dozen times. 

Eren on the other hand, seems like he's always been good. Wrong, though he wasn't ever going to tell Levi, he thought about his own wrong doings. How he had been bad to certain people because they weren't on the social class level he is. How he would sometimes act like the privileged _white kid_ most people expect him to be. He's not really caucasian, he's Turkish and German. Neither parents are from the USA, they just live here. 

He then thought about his own addictions, not like heroin or meth, but he sort of turned into his older brother. Partying almost every weekend out in Calabasas with whoever he could, ditching his friends when he got too drunk to remember his own name. He would wake up in the seven-eleven parking lot with a cock and balls drawn on his face and a cut he isn't sure is from someone's needle or the pavement. That's how most nights went, anyways. Sadly, the only person he could wholeheartedly rely on was Craig, and then they can become more than friends in the short period. 

Eren completely changed everything about him, becoming a better person for someone else. Craig. It seemed that was it for him. Being a fifteen year old with low expectations of love and ever finding it, the entire relationship was based off Craig's kindness and support to Eren. Him always helping him, keeping him under moderation and pushing him to do better in his studies. He was always there, then about two and a half years into the relationship Craig was the one waking in the parking lots. Craig was the one dealing or doing drugs, he was the one driving around drunk and putting people's lives in danger. Eren wasn't that idiotic, he didn't drive in California.  

It just reminds him of a plot of one of his favorite books. A new boy moves to town, and he's all perfect on the outside and is even one of the sweetest kids, then as time goes on the girl begins to question his intentions. He becomes abusive, apologizing and begging for her back, and the process repeats for a long while. It was saddening that the plot kind of became his real life. 

Five years, Eren was with this dick for five years. Last year, Eren finally had enough of the emotional trauma and kicked him out. He had lost all self worth, he hadn't felt so loved yet hated in his entire life. Craig would've come home and loved all up on him after coming back from one of his whore's or whatever. He couldn't blame those other people, he refused to. It was all Craig's fault. 

And the entire questionnaire just reminded Eren how much he hates his life, and how much he longs for a new one. 

Eren lies on his bed, curled in a ball and listening to his moody playlist, Camila Cabello writes really good sad songs he came to realize that. 

"You look a little down." Mikasa enters the room, taking her jacket off and tossing it on the desk chair. 

"What an astute observation." He sighs, lifting himself up and turning down his speakers. "What's up?" He watches her flop back on the bed and sigh heavily, shrugging to himself and joining beside her. 

"Jean. I mean, I'm not mad that he's with Sasha or whatever, I just kind of wished they'd talked to me before." She confesses. _Jeankasa_ was a power couple, indeed. They're smart, attractive and amazing people. But, sadly most good things come to an end. 

"I would text Sasha first, because we all know she's the most carefree about things like that." He says, "Feel like Jean would just lie to you, or make up excuses." 

She narrows her eyes, "Did he like her while we were together?" She rambles off questions that represent her insecurity, and it's hitting a little too close to home.

"Mikasa." He says her name sternly, looking at her purple-ish grey eyes. "Jean had good intentions with you, but you both fell out of love. You couldn't stand being with him anymore, and you're glowing." He assures, "And that interview or whatever was really. . I don't know, wack." He scoffs, running a hand through his hair. 

Mikasa rubs his back. "Well, he's just doing his assignment." 

"A rather weird one, may I add." 

She leans up as well, "Yeah, he asked me about you. I tried to be as vague as I could. I just didn't want him to go in with such a biased opinion on you, he already idolizes you as is." She huffs. 

Eren's eyes widen in shock and disbelief, the kid idolizes him? And why didn't he start off with that? It kind of bothers him now, some of his questions were so personal.  

"From your reaction, you don't seem to be taking that fact very well." She mumbles, running her fingers through his hair. He sighs, somewhat annoyed but her affection changed his mood. "Just don't let him frazzle you out. If you need to know, Levi's like my third cousin, there's a lot of distance in there." 

"It wasn't really need to know information, but thank you." He mutters as he leans up, "I need to shave. That's what I need." 

"That wasn't very need to know information, either." 

* * *

Eren enters the locker room, terribly tired after working relentlessly on an essay for some bullshit covering red and white blood cells. He knows all this information very well, he would listen to podcasts and audiobooks while doing daily errands. Why would they think he doesn't know this shit? Didn't he attend Grayce Medical Academy for seven years, and go to a two year college program to get into Blue Spring's medical program? Yeah, but did he do all that for them to expect he doesn't know what the hell a white blood cell does? No. No he fucking didn't. 

"Hey." He heard the familiar voice behind him, "How are you doing?" 

Craig, oh that shitty Craig. Eren faces him as he took his shirt off, it's kind of hilarious how Eren's actually taller than him now. "I'm doing just fine, thanks for the concern." He slips on the black shirt and tucks it into his scrubs. "I've got to go." 

Before he could leave, Craig grabs ahold of his arm. "Don't overwork yourself." 

"I said I'm fine." He says through grit teeth, too irritated with his lack of sleep. 

He doesn't like being a jerk, he doesn't like being mean to anybody unless it's Zeke. Now, he's tending to Jenna with a bit of an adrenaline buzz and irritation lacing his veins because of an ex. Yeah, being a college studen is much harder than being an actual adult. 

"Knock, knock." He says with the best positive tone he could muster, but it sounds like he got punched in the throat. "How's my favorite patient?" 

"You mean your only patient?" Jenna smiles, lifting up a piece of paper. "I took your advice, but decimals are wack." 

He laughs, "Wack, is that our new word?"  

"Tis much better than _crappy_ , isn't it?" She places the sheet back down. Poor baby, even though she's terribly sick and in the hospital, the school she goes to still demands she does her work. Isn't she under enough stress and pressure? It made Eren mad, but she's not under his care except when he's around. 

"Does Doctor Pieck still come by?" He questions as he stares at the wall behind her bed that seems to get coated in new stuffed animals every time he sees her. He knows Pieck comes by, not just because of the little drawings of girls and boys with triangular or square bodies, but it's her job. 

"Mhm." Jenna hums with a nod, "She's been asking Kensa a lot of stuff though, and they won't tell me what it's about." 

He nods, this is all about the infamous surgery his father performs. Hopefully, it actually works on her. At this point, replacing her cells would give a great addition of seventeen to twenty five years before it decides to pop back up, but this hasn't been in practice for twenty five years. So, this is just an estimate made by Grisha's team. 

He's told Eren the success stories, but they've never quite done it on a child. There comes a lower chance of it actually working for as long as it's supposed to. So that seventeen to twenty five turns into twelve to eighteen. A lesser number, a lesser chance. Eren just wants her to live, happy and healthy. That's all he wants. 

"Ah, we're going to do some more blood tests soon." He says as he stands, smiling softly. "I'll be back with your breakfast." 

"Bring me an extra milk, please! Kensa won't ever get me one." She pouts. 

"Okay." As he walks out of the room, he bumps into a body. "Oh, hell, I'm sorry." He quickly apologizes, grabbing the person by the arm to keep them stable. He met those cobalt eyes and some part of him wanted to shiver, to cringe or something to display discomfort. But he didn't. 

"Hey, um," Levi stammers, "I meant to ask you after the meet, but I think messaging over DM is kind of unprofessional. Would you mind me having your number and asking you questions as I go? I think it's easier than meeting every time I come up with a list." 

Eren gulps back whatever discomfort there was, and nods. He writes down his cell and email, ripping it off the sheet of clean paper and handing it to him. "If you need to chat with either of my male figures, their emails are there too." He says with a blank face, then his lips quirk forcefully. "I hope your essay or whatever goes really well. You're a decent writer." With that, he walks off and disappears down the hall. 

_Decent?! What kind of a person says someone's writing is fucking decent?_ His conscious screams at him, it sounded more like an insult than a compliment. Now he's completely fucked that up, Levi's going to write a horrible article about him, he's going to tarnish his name and throw him in the mud. He face palms as he takes the elevator down to the cafeteria, feeling the buzzing in his pocket. 

    _Unknown number: glad that my writing is at least somewhat okay :)_  

Eren subconsciously smiled at the message, it's amusing that he understood Eren's awkwardness. 

    _Reply: didnt mean to make it sound like an insult, my apologies_. 

He couldn't stand how proper he can be through text message yet not have correct grammar. He enters the cafeteria, immediately spotting Annie, Pieck and Connie. They wave him over. 

"Yo, you seem dead." Annie points out, "Do I need to take you to the morgue?" 

Pieck and Connie crack up. "That was the best." 

Eren mocks them, "Listen, I had an essay to do last night and Craig some some wack shit to me, I don't wanna hear it." 

They all go serious, "What did he say?" Pieck questions, "Was he an asshole? I'll show him an asshole." 

"Bet he's seen more than he cares to in his lifetime." Connie mutters, earning a glare from the brunet beside him. "Sorry, but the way he treated you is absolute shit. I don't give a damn if he saved all the dying children in Africa, I would bet he had given them all those diseases to begin with." 

Eren laughed at that, he never understood how his dad could crack up at doctor jokes like that--it's a very dark one, but it's a joke--but now he understands. "He was just very. . I don't know, very weird. I don't like how he just walked in and asked how I'm doing as if we chat everyday. Hello, asshole, I blocked you for a reason." 

After the conversation had drowned, he bought the breakfast for Jenna and headed up that way. This entire morning has been shit, the only highlight being his friends and Jenna. Ugh, how much he dreads being in school and working. But, the payoff is going to be worth it. It will be worth it.

He recollects himself as he enters the little girls room. "Hiya." He says with a small smile, placing the tray down on her table. He then finds the boy sitting in the chair beside her bed, furrowing his brows in confusion. "Are you--wait-?" 

"My uncle is her foster parent." Levi answers, clearing the air. 

Eren nods, biting the inside of his cheek. "May I steal you for a moment?" He asks quietly, and the boy nods. Even though Levi tried his best to hide it, Eren noticed the blazing cheeks and ears and the way his small hands tug the sweater over his hands. They step into the hall and pull the door to a crack. "This is kind of serious."

Levi's lips purse. "What is it? Is it about the questions-?" 

"No, no." He shook his head, "About Jenna." He further says, sighing. "I'm family friends with her birth father, his father is actually where I got my name and I don't know why I'm telling you this. But Ryker Krueger has two months before he gets out of rehab, then he goes to a group home for about three months." 

"What does this have to do with her?" Levi suddenly asks. 

"I'm getting there." He says, annoyed. "Kensa spoke briefly about wanting to adopt her. Ryker has to attend the group home for about three months, and then AA meetings and probation for about six months. I'm just saying, the adoption process is lengthy and if she wants Jenna in a good and stable home, I think she should get a move on now." 

"You sound like she should be threatened by some druggie." Levi narrows his eyes, "He's the one who put her in such a threatening position." 

That's when Eren realized how different their thought processes are. Eren wouldn't be saying this shit if Ryker is some shitty human being with nothing going for him, he had a great house and a job, he was living great. Then he married a bipolar drug addict with multiple personality disorder who smoked with her daughter in the womb and continued to blow smoke in her face until she got cancer. 

"It wasn't him, it was her mother. It sounds biased as hell, but trust me on that. Ryker isn't a shitty person." He pauses, looking to the door, then focuses back on Levi. "I do believe your family could give her a better life than they can, so that's just why I'm pushing you to say something to her about the adoption." 

Levi stood and fiddled with his fingers, screw the questions--he just ought to have regular conversations with the boy. He's learned more than he probably has in those damn questionnaires. "Al-alright, I'll let her know. Hey, uh," He subconsciously reaches out before Eren walks away and pulls back just as fast. "This is sudden, but there's an opening for this exhibit coming up soon. Would you like to attend it with me?" 

Eren hums, a ghost of a smirk on his lips. "I'll think about it." 

Levi watches the tall boy walk away, and creates a fist. "Yes!" He whispers to himself, walking back into Jenna's room. The girl is just too innocent, he can't stand it. But one thing he for sure couldn't stand is losing her, she's become so special to him in the short six months she's been here. It just reminds him how much he wants a family, but who would want one with him? He dresses like a fag, his looks are like some eighty's look. The undercut isn't very in anymore, but it suits him. Much better than having to grow his hair out and deal with buying more shampoo. 

He didn't know why he became so excited at Eren's doubtful answer, ugh-why can't he just leave it be? Why can't he just not bother him, and just write the damn outline down? Speaking of, he needs to chat with his professor about the assignment. 

He whips his phone out and begins to type the email, and clicks send-disregarding the few typos and errors. He puts it away and enters the room, Jenna is nose deep in a book he brought her, it's called Bitter End, it's a rather emotional and more adult book, but she doesn't care for it. She likes learning about the real world. 

"How's breakfast this morning?" He asks, plopping down on the end of the bed. She gives a hummed 'I don't know' and keeps reading. He moves his ducked up lips from side to side, bored as all get out. What else is there to do on a Sunday? His friends are busy, and he can't just ring up his dad and ask for a couple minutes of his time because there'd be no point. He won't go home and play some video game with or have Lucas take photos--again--for his page. But, it seems like that's the more entertaining thing to do. 

He shoots his little brother a text, but immediately received the 'busy talk later' text. He sighs heavily, closing his eyes. 

"Don't be so sad, you're making me sad." Jenna says. 

He peeks over, "I apologize for my mood." 

She meets his gaze, "You don't. What's bothering you?" For a child, she's incredibly smart. 

He leans up on an elbow, "Nothing that can't be fixed." He didn't mean to make it sound like she's got bigger problems, something that won't be fixed. He doesn't know, he won't ever know until it happens. Even then, he'll be unsure of the result. 

"Good news." He heard a woman walk through the door, turning to see that one woman and Eren. "Oh, where's Kenny and Kensa?" 

Levi shrugs, "I think they're going to be here in a few." Just as he says that, the pair walk in. Then it sparks the question-aren't they always supposed to be here? 

"Hi, Pieck." Kensa greets as she walks in. Both seem very lazy, dressed down in sweats and whatnot. 

"Hello, Mrs. Ackerman." Pieck says back, "We've got some good news." She informs. 

They all patiently wait for the good news, as Eren flips through his file he gets frustrated but with the gentle and subtle touch from his friend, he calms down. "We've only ever performed this operation on adults, some children above the ages of twelve. We can possibly replace her cells, and it will rid the disease how chemo would. Except she wouldn't have to go through the pain of it all. However, in most my father has treated, it's given about a fifteen to twenty year extension before it may pop back up again." 

They look between each other, seemingly shocked. Jenna doesn't really understand what all this talk means, but they did say it was good news. 

"How could he replaced them?" Kenny asks, "I haven't done my research on the stuff, but wouldn't ridding her of her cells kill her?" 

Eren shrugs, "We leave our patients with tubes to keep things running, and it doesn't take long to weaken her existing cells on the immune system and her lungs." He informs, handing them a couple papers. "That is the information on the operation and the rate of survival, since she is younger there is a lesser chance of it completely going away. However, I say we should continue the blood test and stabilizing her routine more. She's only been here for three weeks." 

"He's correct." Pieck nods, "I will monitor her results as soon as they're live, but I think you should keep the operation available." 

Kenny looks up, but before he could say something Kensa interrupts. "Isn't this something you have to talk to her birth parents about?" Jenna stiffens at the mention of her parents, and Levi took notice. 

Pieck and Eren look between each other. "Um, her mother is in a mental institute and her father is in rehab. Whatever we would receive from them would be influenced by some other part of mind. The next of kin is her grandfather who has already approved the procedure, but this is still your decision." 

"My my, this is, uh, quite a decision." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i fucking loved bitter end, i cried and i recommend you all read that because it was FANFUCKINGTASTIC  
> it's by jennifer brown and it's meaty, like a good 360 pages. i fckn loved it. but if you have any good book recommendations please hook me up , okok bye :))


	6. Cheesy Cheese

"EREN!" Jean yells from the kitchen, "DO YOU WANT CHEESE OR NOT?" 

This screaming match has been going on for five minutes. Jean making everyone lunch and them all being indecisive on what they want. He got so irritated, he finally called Eren out on his anger problems just because he's German. As if Eren would somehow get the nerve to become this manipulative bastard and claim he wants something good for people then kills an entire ethnicity or whatever. That's a bit crazy, in his opinion. 

"YES! YES, I WANT FUCKING CHEESE!" He says, returning his eyes to the screen that has Mario Kart. Honestly, fuck Mario. This game is so wack, Armin always wins and somehow Sasha is ranked above him. He doesn't understand, how can she keep her hands off food long enough to rank up so high in this game? _W-a-c-k_. 

"Here, Jaeger." Jean hands him a plate with the bologna sandwich on it, he's such a mom. Eren smirks and accepts, tossing his controller on Mikasa's table and leaning back in the large sofa. It's one of those sofa's that looks like a bed, feels like a bed, but has that line and dip down the middle that reminds you it's a damn couch. 

"Jeanie boy, you're becoming a mom." Connie says in a southern tone, slapping his back. 

"Ow, fucker." He mutters, wincing at the contact. "And no I'm not, just using Mikasa's food stock to my advantage." Mikasa just gives him a look. Despite dating for a better part of four years, they remain good friends. Honestly, Mikasa felt like a bit of a psychopath for falling out of love with him. It was like, two months before their break up she would've walked through hell for him--this his voice was like nails on a chalkboard. She put it off for so long, hoping that the love would revive, but it seems they were both in the same position. 

Something about that whole situation just irks Eren. 

"He does have a point." Armin says through a mouth filled with chips. "You're fully stocked, you don't even eat that much either." 

She rolls her eyes, "Yeah, but ever wonder why I have so much food?" She gestures to Sasha and Connie, since they tend to eat the most anywhere they go. They all nod in agreement, then they argue for another five minutes on what to watch. The list minimizes to King of the Hill, The Bisexual, and The Regular Show. 

"I vote Hank Hill." Jean says, Eren nodding in agreement. 

"Two for Hank, what about you guys?" Mikasa sighs. 

"Regular Show." This is all up to Mikasa now, she's the only one not voted yet, but she is the one who chose a show with a real plot. 

"Fine." Eren mumbles, sinking in his seat.

"Hey, so how's that article going with Levi?" Mikasa focuses on Eren. 

He shrugs. "Dunno, ain't read it." 

"Huh? What article?" Sasha questions. 

He gives Mikasa one of those 'thanks a lot' looks, and sighs. "Her cousin was assigned this wack article thing, it's about the Jaeger men outside of the work field." 

Connie hums, "It seems like a good idea, but do they really want to see how much of an asshole you are?" 

"I mean, you're not an asshole all the time. Just when you're hungry, or need affection." Armin says, brows furrowing as he continues to list off reasons Eren would ever be an asshole. 

"Okay, okay!" Eren holds his hands up defensively, "I get it. Harvey doesn't think I'm an ass." 

"That's because he spent time with you in Cali, not here." Sasha input, motioning to the area around them. "In this household, you're a completely different person." 

He's never really told he's an asshole, but then again he's the unproblematic Jaeger. He scoffs at the inner thoughts. Nobody ever has the balls to tell him how much of an asshole he really is. He stands and takes his plate into the kitchen, checking his phone to see three text messages from Levi. 

    _LEVI: Hey, they open the new art tomorrow, let me know if you perhaps want to join me? It's totally fine if you don't, no pressure haha_

_I found this questionnaire thing, just let me know when you're free?_

He was able to find amusement in Levi's anxious tone, but also comfort. He's been going over the entire process in his mind, what Levi's writing and if it's good or not. But, does he really want to do this? Go to some art museum with someone he barely knows? Oh, this is just so cringey! And with someone he barely knows, that idolizes him? It's conceited to think it doesn't extend further, and conceited to think his idolizations isn't towards Eren's father. 

_REPLY: i'd like to go, yeah. not been to the art museum in quite a while. and it's fine if you ask questions, i don't really mind it._

He slips his phone back into his pocket and digs around for a beer, Mikasa's mom buys them for her sometimes. He couldn't ever thank that woman enough for the stuff she's done for him and her. Like give them a place to stay one night when Mikasa locked her keys in the car, having to call an Uber to get them to her mother's. Or when she had allowed Eren to stay over most nights during his childhood because he didn't want to be home, and deal with Zeke's drama.

He stares at the photo magnetized to the stainless steel fridge, smiling. It's of him and their friend group. Because he'd graduated high school early--two years early--he was able to surprise them on their senior year. Him, Reiner, Bert, Annie, a couple others and the few in the house had been photographed. He misses Reiner like crazy, but he's coming back for thanksgiving. He's in freaking Florida, he complains about how hot it is all the time. How Eren wishes he could go back to Calabasas, but being here is something he needs once in a while. 

Once in a while, not all the time. 

* * *

Levi is such shit at writing, he texted Eren three times within ten minutes and then had to distract himself by writing some shitty outline of the facts he's put together. He found the courage to email Zeke, asking the same things, but his responses were completely different. He backtracks, all the information he received from Eren on his brother is now questionable. Zeke paints a totally different picture. 

He plops back in his chair with a heavy sigh, what is he supposed to do with two very different point of views? He felt like he's writing some shitty fanfic on the Montague and Capulet's. Except, it's all Montague and no Capulet. Just some fucked family feud and they're all ignoring each other's feelings. Levi could imagine that being his own family.

How they all so easily sweep his emotions under the rug. They never asked him how he's handling the situation with his parents, how he's handling college or how his writing is going. All the exception of his mother. She cares, but sometimes he thinks she just asks because she wants to be asked about her feelings. 

"Levi." He heard the door open, and appears the redhead girl. "How's that article going?" 

His brows furrow, "How'd you know I was doing it?" 

"Harvey, duh." She huffs, as if he wasn't even supposed to ask. She looks over his shoulder, "If you'd like a secondary source, I'd provide." 

He scoffs, "You're more like a third or forth source." He runs a hand through his hair, plopping down on the twin sized bed. Isabel doesn't mind the lack of space, lying down beside him and they stare at the Twilight poster. "I never understood how shitty their on-screen chemistry was until people started pointing it out." 

She chuckles, "I think her and Jake's romance was more thrilling, but then again I thought about her and Rosalie's bond. She was very gravitated to the blonde. Too bad she's married." She rolls on her side, staring at the side of Levi's head. "You know, you can't avoid this forever." 

He understand she isn't just talking about the assignment, but he chose to talk about his frustrations. "It just sucks," He groans as he brings both palms to his face, "Zeke tells me about the broken bond he has with Grisha, his and Eren's relationship is strained. Eren says they're all very active in each other's lives. I don't know if that just vague for 'we're not really a family, but we love each other' or what the hell else!" He groans and rolls off the bed to the floor. 

"You're so dramatic." She rolls her eyes, jumping off the bed to sit at his desk. "Zeke is a shitty person, so might want to just scratch totally talking to him?" She suggests, scrolling through the email thread. 

Levi pushes himself up, picking up a black hoodie and slipping it on. "I don't know," He brings his knees to his chest as he sits down beside her. "The entire thing won't make sense if I scratch him completely, it would make sense if I avoided talking to Eren. Eren's unproblematic." His comment made Isabel laugh, "I just want this to be good." 

"Rushed projects aren't good, especially when it comes from you." She reminds, tapping his temple. "So, just start with a teaser. Take a rumor from some tabloid and twist it all around, prove every rumor about them wrong. Like, how they're greedy jerks, or are actually stupid and the people on their teams are the brains behind it all." 

He nods, already searching for the tabloid dramas. "So, I kind of asked Eren to accompany me to the art show tomorrow." Her eyes widen, "Please don't kill me." 

Her upper lip curls in distaste as a scoff forces through her lips. "I don't know why I get so. . defensive, or possessive over him. We're first cousins, you know? We've always been close until he left, then when he came back after all that time, Eren was this totally different person. Before he left, he had short boyish hair, he was glowing and happy. Then, over the years, I noticed this horrid change in his character. His hair got longer, he got taller, and there was this strange pain in his eyes." 

Levi soaks in her explanation, frowning. He's heard the rumors that people change when they go to California, people evolve into this walking sad cloud masked with a bright smile. He's never met anyone from there, but with the dramatized stories, he could believe that's what happened to Eren.

He turns the laptop back in his direction, "There's a new meme review." He done his best to distract both of them from the Jaeger's, they seem to be more drama and stress than they're worth. Net worth, that's something he can talk about, right? How much Grisha and Zeke make a year, how much their companies are worth, how much Eren will make.

His phone screen lights up, catching his attention. His meal from last night jumps into his throat, scared of Eren's reply. Once his camera met his face, he can calm down. "Eren just said he'll go with me." He says with wide eyes, earning an equally shocked expression from Isabel. 

"Need a chaperon?"  

He made an annoyed face and shoved her head lightly. "I don't even know why I'm freaking out over this, over them. I never have when it comes to you." 

It seems he's made an out of place comparison, and she shrugs it off. "Because I'm just me." Her reply is so simple, because she's right. She is just Isabel Magnolia, she's not got parents who discovered cures for things or traveled the world and helped people. She doesn't have the same blood running in her veins, she isn't like Eren.  

Levi's words replay in his head, eating away most of his attention span he's directed to his laptop screen. He would occasionally side glance at Isabel, trying to figure out if she's thinking about what he said. Why he doesn't freak out over her, if she got offended or not. He knows some people can compare the two, especially in looks. They have kind of the same eyes, same smile, same passion. They're like mirrors of each other, but Isabel is right. She's just her. 

He can't admire her more for that statement. 

"I'm hungry, let's go get some Chinese." She clicks off the video they were watching and standing. 

"Alright," Levi nods, enforcing their bad habits is a bad habit he has. "Who's paying?" 

She turns and gives him a look, "Naturally." She slips her jacket on, while Levi exchanged his sweats for a pair of jeans, then grabs his keys. "Yes! You're beginning to remember, my precious old man! Remember how to walk down the steps?" 

She mocks him being forgetful of his keys, but she forgets a lot of things too. Levi couldn't exactly insult her back, so he just gives her a sideways glare. "Bitch." He mutters as they exit his house, and before he could walk down the porch steps he looks dead in her eyes, "And yes I do."  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok questions:   
> 1) do you prefer longer or shorter chapters? i try not to fill them with senseless scenes that obviously don't contribute to the plot  
> 2) how do you think Eren and Levi's 'friendly date' is going to go?  
> and 3) this isn't a question, but a statement, this is obviously a slow burn relationship, do you like that or should i skip a few things and jump into it? ok thanks <3


	7. Contemporary Art and Pizza Station

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna go ahead and say pizza station is a place i get pizza from frequently

Levi waited for Eren in the parking lot, Blue Spring seems to be the only place they worry about it raining constantly. It's because of the elevation, that's it. Imagine Forks from Twilight, but instead it's Blue Spring with a bit more fancy shit hanging around, like a Starbucks. Seattle is completely different. He slipped his hand in and out of his jacket pocket, checking the time on his phone and for any alerts he _might've_ missed--but no way would his ears allow him to miss a notification. Ten fifteen rolls around, and Levi’s anxiety starts to bubble up like a boiling pot of noodles. It’s just fifteen past schedule, calm down.

Then, like a signal from the universe, he received a message.

_EREN: i'm running a tad late, sorry lad. lunch is on me, afterwards._

He smiles small, sending an 'okay' and leaving it at that. He figures if he were to send anything more, his anxiousness would slip through and Eren would just seemingly ditch the plans. He can already tell how weird it feels for Eren to be around him. Why is he inviting Eren out to do things? Well, Farlan did say it is easier to get to know someone when you put them on the spot, so he can assume the relaxing aroma of the art museum would do its job.

He takes a glance back to the art museum, he and Isabel would normally come here when they could since she adores art. But seeing Eren's little room painted over a hundred times in different graffiti just lead him to ask him instead.

He hadn't noticed, but Eren managed to park directly beside him. "Hey." The taller boy scuffles out from the car and shoving his belongings into his jacket pockets.

There was a bit of a silent exchange, and it was hella awkward. “You have a nice car.” Levi compliments, attempting to ease a bit of the awkward air.

He shrugs, tapping his fingers on the hood of the red car. “It’s one of my old man’s, I don’t own a car.” Did he just say, he doesn’t own a fucking car? And this is one of his old man’s?  ONE OF HOW MANY?

Levi pushes himself off the hood of his tiny blue bug, shoving his pale hands in his pockets same as Eren. “I don’t have very many questions for you. I hope you don’t think I just brought you out here for nothing.” He looks ahead with a nervous chuckle.

The silence is nearly deafening, and he looks up to see Eren with a frown. “I don’t think badly of you.” He informs quietly, and Levi can once again feel a blush on his cheeks. Curse him and his weak immunity to compliments from literally anyone! He looks forward again and walks at the same pace as Eren, even if it is physical torture. He knows the feeling all too well in his stomach right now, curse his anxiety.

"I like Van Gogh, I know it's super basic." Levi says almost in a breathy tone.

Eren hums, "I adore him, particularly for that slight mental breakdown. Eating paint? Imagine how beautiful his insides would've been if someone cut him open right there, bet there was fucking flowers sprouting." He says as they enter the doors. There's plenty of collections, but the addition Levi was speaking on was on the modern and contemporary art.

"I know you said you don't like mainstream media, but modern art is kind of mesmerizing." He says quietly as they walk through the many halls. Eren stays quiet as his chin tilts, staring at the glass ceiling overhead, eyes shifting around as they lock on every piece of artwork in the room.

"Art is art, but sometimes it's stupid and pointless." He doesn't lose his cheerful tone, despite talking about his strong opinions. "I've made it, but my art is personal. At least, I hope so. I see these blank canvases and people pay thousands for them, and it's like, what's the fuckin' point? Mate, you've paid nearly five grand for a couple dots and a signature on the page."

He listened to Eren rant, and he didn’t expect him to know so much about the art community. He bit down awkwardly on his lip, “I agree, those don’t compare to the likes of Starry Night, or anything else.”

"Van Gogh had a very unique style, attractive man too." Eren smirks, staring at The Pompeii by Max Backmann, "Fellow German man. You know, this was made in the fifties. Last year of his life, and the characters are caught in what he called 'the ruthless drama of contemporary living.'" He informs, not even having to look at the info card on the wall beside it.

"How do you know so much about this stuff?" Levi asks with astonishment, blue eyes staring at the painting he could've given zero shits about until Eren spoke about it.

Eren chuckles. "I've studied more than just medicine, Levi. I am a bit of an artist after all."

The following hours spent--three total--weren’t as tense as their first meeting. Eren knows his way around a conversation very well, and when Levi fell out of flow, Eren wouldn’t mind. He wouldn’t say anything about it, but there was something off in Eren’s demeanor. It made Levi’s insides turn, and not so suddenly that chinese really wasn’t setting well.

After thirty more minutes, Levi basically had to beg for lunch. Eren had been so caught up, that the time passed by like they were in some alternate universe where it was only a foreign concept. The pair had food on their mind alike, but the suggested restaurants were different.

“Fine, we’ll flip a coin.” Eren says with a huff. Heads is the simple Pizza Station Levi eats far too much of, and a more restauranty feel: Muchen Haus Leavenworth. Leave it to Eren to point out the most german things in Washington.

"Alright, Pizza Station it is." Eren sighs, but not defeated. "Next time, we go to my choice." He smiles and walks towards the driver side of his car.

Levi's heart jumps from the bottom of his stomach to his throat, what on earth-- _there's going to be a next time?!_ Levi silently prays to the god above, thanking whoever is putting this in his favor. But all the while, he didn't ask Eren a single damn question. He definitely needs to finish the first outline, but of course, he’d be rewriting it a thousand times before he believes it’s worthy to be published.

"Okay, this might be an intrusive question, but how close are you and Isabel now?" Levi asks as they sit in a booth.

Eren hums, shrugging with a bit of discouragement. "I used to see her as my best friend, but I moved and after that. .” A pang of sadness crosses Eren’s face, “. .family reunions weren't exactly the same anymore."

He nods, looking down with a frown. He took Isabel's words into consideration, she mentioned he didn't exactly seem so connected to the world after his second year in Calabasas. Levi felt a bit upset with himself, prying into their relationship when he's always received one side. He was granted another, and took the chance. "I'm sorry for asking."

Eren gives a vague wave, as if he's swiping the topic away. "If I can be a bit honest here, I'm showing my green." He sighs with pursed lips, and Levi sends him a confused glance. "I'm a little jealous of you and Mikasa's relationship. I mean, she's told me how close you two manage to be even with all the stress and shit. But Isabel--I don't know, she just hates me."

Levi's heart fell into his stomach, it's quite the opposite. Despite Isabel's disdainful attitude towards Eren, she very much cares about him. She couldn't hate him because of his success, she wouldn't. He's also a bit stunned that Mimi would even describe their relationship in such a high light, and is also a bit saddened by the fact they're really not so close anymore.

"I don't talk go out very often." He says without thinking, earning a look from Eren. "I-I mean," He stammers, taking a deep breath to simmer those nerves. "I just, it's hard to be with my family sometimes?"

Eren chuckles, "That's not something someone usually says in a question form." He pauses, looking at his pizza. "I try my best to be with my family, but they're. ." He sucks in a breath, "Ah, tolerable."

The rest of their lunch wasn’t so awkward, at least on Levi’s end. He could still see the tense weight on Eren’s shoulders. Something was begging to be asked, or said, and Levi was about to snap and tell him to come right out with it. 

"So, what kind of people do you get inspiration from?" There it is. 

Levi shrugs, "I don't know. Since I liked writing, I guess I liked the idea of creating a sort of escape, but as I got older the Harry Potter series was a staple, then the Twilight Series, Hunger Games. But those writers aren't people I genuinely got inspiration from, their books were just amazing." He says. 

Eren nods in acknowledgement, not answering right away. He was too lost in whatever was going on outside and Levi didn't have the courage to lift his head to see what. "What authors make you want to write?"

"Um," He sits on the line, there's of course, the wonderful John Green--young adult fiction writer, Stephen King, VC Andrews, Tommy Wallach--even though he didn't read We All Looked Up until he was seventeen, which is a fantastic read and he cried several times because he's a softie. "I suppose Stephen King, I've only read three of his books because I try to stray from rereading if I can. Um, Jennifer Brown, Bitter End was one of my all time favorite books." 

"I really enjoyed that book as well," Eren nods. "It's um, very relatable in some ways. But, I guess I was kind of asking if you had any strong feelings about the medical world or what my father does?" 

Levi's heart might've actually stopped, in mid-drink he stopped slurping through his straw and nearly choked. "Um, I don't really have interest in the medical or science world. I leave all that to my friends, they're much smarter than I am." 

"I only ask because you're writing about doctors and a business man." Eren smirks. 

They sit in a bit of silence, then the check arrives. Even though Eren insisted it's on him, Levi also insisted he pay the tip. The atmosphere between them has changed since the first time they've met, but isn't drastic. It's just distinct that Eren is just a little more happier and loose around the short boy. 

"Soo," Eren stretches the syllable, unaware he's adding onto Levi's already heavy chest. "My friends told me I should proofread your article before you intend to publish. When in its final draft, I suppose. You know, they're just looking out for me." He nods with a reassuring tone.

Levi nods, almost frantically. "Right, right, of course!" He closed his eyes as he mentally killed himself for such a loud tone. "Uhh, I-ah, you do have a squeaky clean image, so of course they want to protect it. And I think the public kind of hates your clean slate." He chuckles softly, trying to ease his conscious, but instead can feel his pizza trying to escape his body.

The brunet huffs, "Yeah, they just wait for me to fuck up. It's bothering, but I don't do anything to mess with my dad’s success."

Levi gives an almost sheepish smile, blue eyes glueing to the sidewalk their feet stand on. Neither really knew how to end the encounter, but luckily Eren received a phone call. A wash of relief comes over him, but from what? The need for a nap is deep right now. He stands awkwardly, meeting Eren's gaze. "You have to go?" He sounded desperate, and was ready to throw himself into oncoming traffic. 

He gives a soft smile with a light laugh, tucking his hands away in his pockets but pulling them out immediately. "I shall see you again, Levi Ackerman." He says in a mock british tone and walks backwards towards his car with a wave.

Levi returns the gesture with a smile of his own, turning and walking to his car. He shuts the door, and immediately smiled. At first, everything just seems so surreal. He had the most casual, yet deep conversations with Eren. It's much more than he expected when sending that first DM. Eren's a huge help, he's so kind and lovely, he's just. . nice. Their encounters, he's so good. He's nice.  

Nice, yeah. Isn't it nice?

* * *

 

Levi flops onto the bed with a smile on his lips. Content with today's events. He rolls over and picks up his laptop and lies on his stomach, typing up some information he received. He's not bothered with figuring out how to word it, he's got a while to figure that out. He picks his phone up, it immediately buzzes with notifications from his group chat.

Farlan and Bert being the ones who want to binge watch a show at Levi's, Isabel and Hange they should go to Harvey's because they never do, and Harvey being the one to suggest Levi's. He began to understand it better, why their friend never really invited them over. It was rare that he ever did, and even then they didn't stay for long.

Harvey is a good person to Eren, granted they lived together for nine years and still do.

He replies with the usual, they can hold up at his house. But then remembers Lucas has his two friends over, "Luke!" He shouts, and it took a good minute before his brother opens the door with an annoyed face. "Where are you and your brats held up for the night?"

"Oh, come on!" He whines, "It's my weekend to have people over!"

"I never have people over, so watch your mouth." He says back, "Where?"

Lucas sighs, running a hand through his shaggy hair. "Living room, and don't try and pick on my friends."

He stands, "As if I have the time to do that."

"No, you do. You just don't have the balls to." Lucas shoots right into Levi's heart and it bothered the older boy. Lucas pick on Levi's mental, and he hates that he knows. But Lucas needed to know. He's not terribly mean to Levi when it comes to going out of his room or generally being in public. At least he cares _that_ much.  

Levi gathered the few items him and his friends would need in the basement, there's not much but a television and some games down there. There's a futon, couple of huge beanbags, and a microwave. Why a microwave? He had no idea, but that just means he can take several bags of popcorn down there and no need to come back up.

"Leeevi!" He hears Hange upstairs, and he rolls his eyes. "Where are ya, my short one?"

He appears from the stairway, "Here, oh great one."

"Wow, we couldn't see you there." Bert mocks, ruffling his hair. The raven tosses his hand to the side with playful intentions, he can hear his brother and his friends snickering in the living room, no doubt about his height joke. It's rude that Luke gets to be taller than him.

"Let's go before they annoy me." Isabel has no trouble with voicing her thoughts.

The six of them bunker down in his basement with different snacks wedged between them. They cuddle all under one blanket, one of Levi's biggest. Thankfully, they're all rather small with the exception of Bert. The movie put on is, of course, a Disney one. Not any of the newer ones like Moana, or the Incredibles 2. No no-a classic. Lilo and Stitch.

"I could hardly call Moana new, Levi." Harvey counters, biting off a piece of a Crunch bar.

He furrows his brow. "It was made in twenty sixteen. It is new."

"Three years old." Farlan says through a mouth full of gummies. "Bro, why are we such fatasses?"

"I don't know but we all have quite high metabolisms, let's not jinx it." Hange replies with her brown orbs glued to the TV. "Ah! I fucking love this movie it hurts!"

Levi had selfish thoughts. Ditching the family night and just staying cooped up in his room, listening to The 1975 or One Direction and reading one of the books he's supposed to be reading at this very moment. But, he's blown them off enough in the past week, he deserves to end a good day with a good night with good people. Watching a good yet very sad movie, able to cry in the arms of his best friends, and gossip for hours, meme review and then sleep before deprivation kicks in.

He rests his head against Isabel's shoulder, sighing as her head leans on his own. And she whispers, “How was today?”

He shrugs, “I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, this type of levi-the anxiety ridden and soft levi-is my favorite levi personality. i will never get enough of him smiling for nothing ok and or smiling to cover his embarrassment.


	8. Craig's Stupid(.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> craig is s t u p i d. we hate craig, we unstanned years ago, he's a sack of shit. thank u, next we want LEVI.

Eren was tired, so damn tired of waking up everyday and locking eyes with Craig like he needed to. He hadn't stopped trying to get under Eren’s skin for the past week, even going as far as to text from a different number and different accounts on social media. It bothers him to no end, how someone could be so needy for him, when they’re the one that ruined it.

An afterthought, he began to think more about his previous friendly outing with Levi. He was just trying to get the kid to confess to his idolization, but it seems he’ll have to try harder. He doesn’t want to just confront him with it, that’s stupid because then he would question who told Eren. There’s no need to cause trust issues amongst his friends.

Eren tossed his jacket in the locker, preparing to switch his shirt out but caught those disgusting shit eyes from the other end. "What the hell do you want?" Eren hadn't replied to his pleas for attention, and is beginning to believe he's lost all his hoes. "Wanna fuck around with somebody? Go to the homeless shelter."

"Don't be like that." Craig sours up, "You act like I'm the worst human to exist."

"Because you are." He says with a scoff, as if it should be obvious.

He makes a face, "I don't see how. I did so much for you, why don't you want to accept that?" 

"Yeah, because helping me out of a parking lot is so much." He scoffs, trying to refrain from biting the bait--even though he already has.

"Eren, please--" 

Before he could continue, Eren slams the locker door shut. "It's been six months, get over it!" He nearly shouts, he's fuming and it didn't take long for tears to boil in his eyes. "You lied, cheated and treated me like a piece of cheap meat. You think I'm going to let you emotionally destroy me any further? No thanks." He dryly chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief he's even having this conversation.

"Eren," He tries by calling his name, but Eren just held a finger up to silence him once more.

"I really do not want to hear it. I don't know what drove you to come crawling back, and I don't know how you expected me to just take you back for doing things I don't ask you to." He growls, straightening his shirt to look somewhat decent. "If you call or text me, or try any other form of communication with me, so help me God I will report you to the police and our boss." 

Despite Eren’s towering height, Craig took a step forward with a puffed chest. Almost pleased with himself for the reaction Eren gave. “For what?”

Eren huffs in anger, nostrils flaring. "For harassment, you fucking dickwad." His voice cracks like the child he is. He stormed out of the room, grabbing the hair tie and nearly snapping it, he couldn't stop his damn tears. Of course, not, so he prolonged going to Pieck's office by traveling the stairs to the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee. 

He feels utterly pathetic, he tried telling Craig to get over their relationship but now he's unaware if he's telling the boy or telling himself. It hurts, it really hurts. Just seeing his ugly face everyday--that really isn't ugly, he's a decent guy but he's got an ugly personality--and being in the same air as him on some days. He's so happy to still be a college student and only work part time here. 

He made his way to Pieck's office via the elevator. Before he could even walk in the door, he can hear her and presumably Annie arguing. 

"Annie, no!" Pieck sighs in a scold, taking whatever she had from her. "Eren, hi." His presence had visibly relaxed the women.

"Good news, I think the Ackerman's have agreed to do the surgery." Annie informs, "And bad news, Pieck is on her period." Pieck gives her a look, ultimately denying it but the way she's sitting and her mood proves otherwise.

"They haven't agreed, Annie."

"I said _I think_ , that was your cue to fill the blanks in." They argue like sisters, granted they technically are.

"Okay," Is all he could say before the pair went back at it. 

Pieck's brown eyes shift to him, “Is everything okay?” But not a moment later, return to the blonde sitting on the almost clean desk. “You know, eating celery isn’t the way to a flat tummy.”

"My tummy is quite flat, P."

He listened to them bicker, and it wholesomely lightens his mood. So much that he began to forget about the previous encounter with his shitty ex-boyfriend, and emotional outburst. He felt a little embarrassed for it, because what if some of the others heard him? But also, his reaction is warranted. Craig is relentless, persistent on getting Eren for some sick game of his. It's cruel and quite frankly, tearing Eren apart emotionally.

And his friends read him perfectly without him having to say anything. "Honestly, fuck guys." Annie suddenly says. "If he didn't see your worth then, he doesn't deserve you now. Fuckem, and move on." She mutters the end of her sentence, sipping her coke.

Pieck sighs heavily, "I give up on trying to have anything nice."

"It's not even a problem, fuck him." Eren repeats Annie's words and waves the subject off. He’s so good at doing that. "We have to see Jenna, anyways. Annie stop pestering Pieck like that." He orders in a stern tone, opening the door and they walk towards the room near the windows at the end of the hall.

Again, they’re back at it with discussing whatever it is they do, and Eren’s mind wanders back to Craig. What were his intentions? Was he somehow hoping to redeem himself and Eren would just forgive him for three years--of five--of emotional abuse? Hell no, there is not a chance in hell Eren would ever forgive him.

"Hi!" Jenna beams, seeing Eren. It's been two days since he's seen her, and apparently she's been asking to see him every chance Pieck gets an open ear. "Look it! Look what my uncle Levi brought me!"

His heart swells, he likes that she's now considering the Ackerman's as her family. He approaches her side, observing the small painting. It's the Irises, Van Gogh. Levi wasn't kidding when he said he adored Van Gogh. "Pretty. He has good taste." He smiles, looking around the room. "Where are your--"

"Hello! Sorry, we were in the cafeteria." Kensa walks through the door, shuffling to the other side of the bed.

Pieck and Annie just read over the papers, the blonde looking over her shoulder. “Since you’ve began to at least think about the surgery, Eren has papers for the transplants and whatnot.” Eren hands the pages over, it’s scattered with statistics and more that come along with it.

“The survival rates are low, and I didn’t need a sheet of paper to tell me that.” Kenny gruffs, “How can you ensure this is proper treatment?”

Annie looks over to the parents while pushing her hair behind her ears, “With Dr. Jaeger’s advanced technology, we’ve become structurally refined and the transplants now ensure at least fifteen to twenty years worth of time, and if we were to also do the cell replacement it would ensure another fifteen to her lifespan.”

“But the entire process might take longer than anticipated,” Pieck informs, “Her vitals aren’t as stable as we hoped and we have to prolong it. More blood tests will be needed and it’ll take us at most a week to come back with something. We also suggest pulling her from public school and enrolling her in a private online forum.”

The two foster parents look between each other, “Why? What does that have to do with anything?”

“She may be here longer than intended,” Eren sighs. “Her education is important, and more manageable if she were perhaps in some online educational system.” His suggestive tone is more persuading than suggesting.

“How can we ensure this is the best route to take?” Kensa asks, “I mean, with the transplants.”

“We wouldn’t put Jenna through something that wouldn’t work if there were a better option. And I firmly believe this will work for her, if I had the slightest doubts I wouldn’t ask you to go through with this.”

Kenny and Kensa look between each other, "Thank you."

The three leave, once again Eren and Pieck are back in their feelings. They've had to put off her situation for days now, two weeks. Soon, it'll spread more and they won't be able to help her. They can't wait any more months, and this suggestion they just implanted in the Ackerman's minds is proof enough they haven't been able to find much to help.

"We've been hitting rock bottom over and over again." Eren runs a hand over his features, "I don't understand, why can't we find a fucking cure for this horrible disease?"

Pieck shrugs, "Maybe this is our black plague, doesn't act out so quickly but it has the same effect. Damaging, slowly killing with agonizing pain."

He sends her a baffled look, "I would appreciate if you didn't sound so damn pessimistic about it." She mumbles a blank apology as the pair sit with their heads in their hands, thinking about their next course of action. "The lung transplant was a stupid idea, there's no way we could just take the cancer out of her like that."

"It's worth a shot, especially with the shit your dad made." Eren sends her a look, but she isn't in view anymore. He hates that there's this endless amount of hope on his father's work. Then the faith everyone has in his to live up to his father’s work, when he isn’t even so sure the procedure will work on someone so young.

   MESSAGE TO: ARMIN

           _hey, want to get some lunch or something? my lunch break is at one thirty_

   FROM: ARMIN

           _heck yeah i would. is Josie's good?_

   REPLY:

            _yes_.

Josie's, a small diner on the corner of Brisbane and Tiller. Nostalgia fills the group each time they enter, reminiscing on their high school days and the few times Eren would come home for a week or two. It suits their needs for a small meal and a feel of the seventies. Armin, being the psychology major he is, will be able to give Eren top tier advice. And he's not-so-subtly looking forward to it.  

One thirty rolls around, and he's bouncing down the stairs to get out of the hospital. He swapped his converse for his boots, but while exiting he bumped shoulders with _him_. He couldn't stop the emotional roller coaster he felt in the car on the way. His music choice Kanye West blared through the speakers, Heartless playing as if there was no tomorrow. Soon, he pulls into the small parking slot on the side of the road. 

"Eren." Armin waves, catching his attention. The brunet sits with the blond who has changed his hair once more, keeping the undercut but just shortening his bangs. Along with the rest of his head, normally how one does with a haircut. "Like it?"

Eren nods with a small smile, "It's shorter, suits you better." He points out the obvious and then scowls, he hates doing that. He ordered his usual, a garlic seasoned burger while Armin opted for a loaded hot dog. "Okay, there's a reason I asked you for lunch." 

"Go on, this is a free session."

Eren inhales deeply, trying to suppress his emotions, "Craig." Armin nods, leaning back in his chair and adjusting the quarter sleeve with little interest in anything. "I-I just don't know what he wants from me. I gave him everything, and he took me for granted. This morning, he practically begged me for a conversation." 

He doesn't say much, sipping his tea and mulling over his words. "I know I wasn't physically there, but I know your anger is always justified." As if it always is. "If he loved you, he would've been there. Simple and cliche, you've heard it a million times, but it's true. He wouldn't have lied or done stupid things to hurt you. Would he?" Eren mumbles out an undignified 'no' and Armin continues. "My point being, he's a shitty person because he wants to be and he knows you're going to make more of an impact on this world. He knows what's in store for you." 

Wow, that's not far off from his personality. He remembers the few times Craig would ditch him, Harvey, Connie and Annie to hang out with the upperclassmen or the people apart of the NHS. He definitely wasn't qualified to be around them. "So, he'd just be using me again?" He wasn't totally clueless to his intentions, but some part of him hoped he'd have changed his ways. 

"Yeah," Armin sighs. All of Eren's friends are more so clueless to Craig's life, as a person. Past the 'few times he cheated', they know nothing. They're just aware he did a number on Eren, because Eren was an impressionable teenager. 

Eren scowls, and with a mouth full said, "That's so fucking selfish."

"Yeah, well, boys are like that when they're spoiled rotten. Not giving a single damn about the ones around them, yet want everyone to care what happens to them."

"Amen."

* * *

Eren crawled into his bed after a long day that calls for a long sleep, but something wasn't allowing him to roll over and shut his eyes. He knows if they were to shut, the impending sadness would take over and that'd be it. 

His eyes train to the puddles reflecting the street lamps illumination, a kaleidoscope of blues and greens beam from beyond the fence surrounding the backyard, the city lights have always been beautiful to him. Always. But tonight, he couldn't bring himself to appreciate the beauty. Nothing could make him fall asleep, he growls and drew the curtains shut. 

He sits up on his elbow, seeing a notification from that short journalist. Levi, yeah. He has an eye for art, somewhat good at conversation, but that's just because of his anxiety. Other than that, he has an okay way with words. Eren tired to avoid it as much as he humanly could, but comparing that with his odd adoration with him, it's hard _not_ to acknowledge it. Well, at least he isn't shoved up his ass, only doing what he's assigned to. 

Eren dismissed the questions Levi sent, saying he'd get back to him in the morning. He is too stressed about Jenna's situation, and Craig, to worry about Levi's assignment. He's sure that he'd like to get it done as soon as possible, and he wants to as well, these questions are raking his brain. Thinking more about Craig, he's been doing his laundry. Now, he has to spend that dollar on laundry because he doesn't pay for detergent at the house. 

Speaking of the house, “Hey.” Harvey knocks on the somewhat open door, “Is it alright if I have a couple friends over?”

Eren looks up, nearly scowling. “Don’t let me stop you from anything. This is your home as much as it is mine.” He nods reassuringly, but his tone wasn’t so friendly. “I, I’m sorry, I’ve had a long day. .” He leans up and pushes his hair out of his face.

Harvey just nods, “Is Jenna okay?”

“I don’t know, I want her to be.” He sighs.

Harvey seems to have gotten distracted, then closes the door with a soft ‘goodnight’.

His back is against the sheets once more, and as he got comfortable the last thought on his mind is; food. Food, and his shitty ex. He won’t be able to get over this argument for a couple more days, nor the conversation--ahem, free session--he had with Armin. Stupid Craig and his stupid face, stupid body and stupid voice. He’s just, ugh, he’s stupid! Eren can’t believe he lowered his standards for a guy like _him_ , with _that_ name--Craig. Imagine: Eren and Craig, that just sounds unpleasant. Like nails scraping on that matte-like glass, or a chalk board. Now, something like Eren and Armin, Eren and Harvey--that sounds amazing. Sounds fucking marvelous.

Craig just sounds like some dude you met on the sidewalks of Los Angeles--granted, he kind of did--robbed you blind, and fucks his sister. That's what Craig sounds like. It makes him sick his mind just switches from food to Craig.

When he exits his bedroom, he’s met with this suspicious quietness, but they must all be in Harvey’s room or the den. He takes the time to rummage through the fridge, finally someone found the time to shop in this chaotic household. He reaches for a bottle of water and picks up two packets of fruit gushers and plops down on the sofa. The only thing illuminating the dark area is the light shining through the thin, sheer curtain separating the den from rest of the house.

As South Park plays, he recalls the fond memories of Zeke allowing him to stay up and watch it together. Back then, he didn't understand the humor, regardless of Zeke's wheezes. Now, he definitely understands it. However, he can't get behind the crude comedy tonight. Nothing is really lifting his spirits, and it annoys him. He stared with a blank face, there's just absolutely no way he's falling back into that emotional shit storm. 

_Argh, fucking hell!_ He can't be. He most certainly will not fall back into that rut. He clicks off the TV and enters his dark bedroom, save the streetlights bleeding through his black curtains, and tugs the blankets to his chin. No matter how much he tries not to, the tears end up rolling down, a hand clasped over his mouth as he shudders, attempting to silence his sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no levi & no eren and is :( big sad, but what's even more BIGGG SAD is how craig did the things he did to our precious baby, fUCK HIM!


	9. Uncultured Becomes Cultured

Levi had yet to create a solid first page, and it's near Labor Day. That means it's near fall break, which means Thanksgiving then Christmas and then the end of the term. He's freaking out, but he still has so much do learn and see, he has so much to do! His mind can't just visualize something and his hands can do it, but here he is. . _attempting_ _it_.

"How's that article going?" His mother walks in, setting a cup of tea down for her distressed son. "Don't rush yourself, I know whatever you write it'll come out absolutely fantastic."

"You only say that because I'm your son." He takes a sip of her tea, sighing with pleasure. "But you make damn good tea."

She hums, "You only say that because you've not bothered to try anyone else's."

He points his finger, with a smirk, "You play a hard game." Smirk fading, he looks back to his laptop. "No, it isn't that I can write it, because I already have written out a lot. I just. . how do I add these pointers and transitions? I've never aimed to be this kind of writer." He turns it in her direction, "See, I've been trying to debunk it isn't Grisha's team that's behind it. I've not talked to any of them, but I asked Grisha a couple questions, and hopefully there's a way he can help me with it."

She looks at his pages on his desk, then to his screen. "Dang, that's bright. Doesn't that hurt your eyes?"

He shrugs, "I can't get anymore blind," He mutters, lowering it for his mother, "Just, I'm such a shit writer!" 

She stays silent for a moment, then stands back to her full height. "Well, one thing you need to do is sharpen your skills. Go out and write about the weather, draw, do something that isn't this." She pleads. "And you're not a shit writer. If you were I wouldn't have sent you to college, would I?"

Before Levi could respond, his brother comes to his door frame. "Mom, I need you. It's important." What Lucas's version of important is, isn't theirs. Kuchel rolls her eyes and follows the boy to his room.

He does come to his senses when his mother leaves, in a way he feels forced to write this. He strips of the nightwear and slips on black skinnies and an almost too oversized Fleetwood Mac shirt, fluffing his hair and grabbing his bag; heading god knows where. He drove for about ten minutes until he stops at the city park, it's a bit chilly and is regretting not bringing a coat. He hasn't a clue why he chose this spot, he hates this park. He'd prefer the one in Seattle. Plus, he's wearing a damn good outfit and nobody's here to take his picture. 

He went through his group, and they're all busy or working. He frowns, biting down on his lip and finally gathering the courage to text one person; Eren. He responds almost right away, sending Levi into a mess once again, his replies always make him jittery. Thankfully, the only thing he'd consumed this morning had been the tea his mother brought him, otherwise he'd have to make an emergency stop by the toilets he's sure have plenty of diseases crawling over them. 

While waiting, he sat on the bench under the awning. So bored out of his mind, he actually downloads the Episode game that Isabel gets so angry at. It's shit, but it's also addicting. 

"Hey, what was so urgent?" Eren jogs up, and Levi soaks in the boys appearance. The messy, side parted hair, a gray Grayce Academy hoodie, loose sweat shorts hanging desperately on his waist, and long socks covering his muscly, long hairy legs. Wait, as he does a double take, there's the image of Pickle Rick on those damned socks. He's so beaut--wait, _no Levi! Stop it_. 

Levi finally meets his eyes with a small chuckle, "You look comfortable."

Eren nods and looks at his attire. "Yes, I wasn't doing anything when you texted."

"I kind of figured, since you're here with me." Levi didn't mean to make it sound so self deprecating, but the soft smile he gave Levi made it all the better. "Anyways, it isn't so much urgent as it was I just didn't have anyone out here with me."

Eren nods, “It’s a nice day. I probably would’ve head out to Seattle and wasted a whole day had you not texted.” Is he suggesting spending time with Levi is time well-spent? Cute.

Levi realized he hadn’t given Eren a reason for being here other than him not wanting to be alone, "How's my outfit look?" He stands, one leg out in a slight pose. Eren hums, scanning him head to toe, but as he looks at Levi's feet, he makes a face with blown out cheeks. "Yes, they're platforms." 

Eren struggles to bite back his laughter, "Is it because the half doesn't count as much as you want?"

Levi's eyes widen, and Eren laughs aloud. "You ass!" But after a second, he laughed with him. “Self timer is shit, so, um. .”

"You want your photo taken?" Eren gives a half smile and finishes his thoughts, Levi nods. "I guessed as much since you asked."

Levi felt almost embarrassed. The redness on his cheeks were more natural due to the sixty degree weather, his skin is glowing. He looks beautiful. The pair try and take decent photos on their phones, but Levi gets fed up with the quality and teaches Eren how to use his fancy camera. He got the hang of it rather quickly, seems he's watched others do it before.

"Ah, perfect!" Eren says as he snaps a few in a different angle, same pose of course. "You sure your aspiration wasn't to be a model? You'd be damn good at it." He hands the shorter boy his camera, and a spark ran through Levi when Eren’s fingers brush along his own.

Levi blushes, hiding his face as he places his camera back in the bag. "And what do you know about models?"

"Uh, they make a shit ton of money and you get free shit." Eren says matter-of-factly. "And, you have the face for it."

He nearly choked on his water, is that a compliment? Of course it is. He gave Eren a small smile. "So, why is it your account is on private? You've got a pretty good page yourself, ever thought about the modeling gig?"

"Pfft," Eren huffs, crossing his arms. "They wouldn't allow _this_ face in there, I mean--Grisha Jaeger's son going into modeling? Appalling, truly a sin." He gapes in another shitty mock british accent, making Levi laugh. "I couldn't bear to put my father through such trauma!"

"Apparently you took theatre in school?"

"I did, for three years. Grayce Academy offered other extracurriculars, other than trying to perform mouth to mouth." He earns a light laugh from Levi.

"Well, I know you didn't score the british roles." He snorts, and Eren chuckles. They stand in another semi-awkward air, as Levi again fails to make decent conversation with the boy. And, luckily, Eren sweeps it up again.

“I don’t think this should all be so one sided,” Levi nearly missed his words, looking up with a questionable hum. For the first time on that pretty tan skin of his, Levi can see the faintest tint of red spreading across his high cheekbones. "I mean, you're all the time asking me questions, which is your job, but I'm just saying things shouldn't be one sided. Tell me about you." 

He took a moment to process his words, then whips his phone out. It's still quite early in the afternoon, perhaps they could go somewhere that isn't this shitty park. "Why don't we grab something to eat, then I'll tell you?" He didn't mean to sound so unsure of himself. 

"Okay." He nods with a soft smile.

"McDonald's good?" He asks, and the brunet just nods once more. "Great." 

The ride was simple, parking in the spot beside Eren. He grabs his wallet and then trips over his own feet as he steps out the vehicle. 

"Whoops," He felt Eren's large hands wrap around his smaller wrists, "Hehe, be more careful short stack." He chuckles. Levi looks up through the hair that fell over his features and nods, somehow dismissing the short joke. "I don't usually eat here," Eren sheepishly admits.

Levi smirks, "Your money begs to be spent on something better?" He jokes, and Eren laughs at his borderline offensive joke. His smirk grew into a small smile, it's oddly satisfying to get the taller boy to laugh.

The satisfaction went both ways, Eren scored a milkshake on a day the machine wasn't broken. He fist pumped and got amusement from Levi. He continued his little jig, then earned laughter--the kind of embarrassed parent laughter--and even an eye roll. He did this until they got their food, and Eren chose their seat. Which to Levi's dismay, were the bars by the window. Eren's feet touched the floor while Levi's dangled as if he were Eren's ten year old brother. 

"So," Eren says with a bit of a mouth full. "When are you going to tell me about you?"

Levi releases a breath, scratching the back of his head. "Um, what do you want to know?"

Eren furrows his brows, "Anything."

He nods, "Okay, I guess I should start with I'm five foot three and a half." He gets a light laugh out of Eren. "My birthday is on Christmas, I have a little brother and my parents are divorced. You know, the basics."

Eren nods, "I'll avoid sensitive topics, what kind of music are you into?" He questions, "Judging by the Fleetwood Mac shirt, I assume you're an old soul?"

He shakes his head, "I don't really listen to a lot of older stuff, on occasion I guess. I really like The 1975, Hozier and other artists along those lines." He answers with a few fries in his mouth. "Also, I like rock. I'm more of a rock kind of guy, like well--maybe not particularly the rock genre everyone expects. Not like Pearl Jam or anything, more like Palisades and Three Days Grace." He chuckles at his failure of explaining his music taste.

Eren sips his milkshake, brows raised at the raven.

"What?" His innocent expression sets in, "Do I have sauce on my face?"

Eren chuckles, it's a toothy smile with the straw tucked between the bottom and top teeth, and goddamn he looks so beautiful. “No,” He assures, “But that rock genre is considered post-grunge or alternative rock.”

“Smarty-pants.” Levi mocks.

He grins a dorky grin, “You have such a wide range of music. Like, everything suits you. I like that one song Selfish by Future, got Rihanna in it too.” He says blankly. “Kanye, Eminem, Halsey, Jack Harlow. But I'll go ahead and say I have a deep liking for The 1975 too."

Levi smiles, "What's not to like about their music?"

Eren nods. "I went to a concert back in 2016, and it was amazing."

Levi's face falls slightly, "No way." Eren pursed his lips with a nod, "You lucky bastard! How was it?"

"Fucking fantastic. It was like, an actual dream. Have you been to any?"

Levi shakes his head, "No, I don't get out a lot." He reminds him. After that, it was silent. What exactly are they doing? Friends, acquaintances? Whatever they’re becoming, it made him all giddy inside, and he isn’t sure if it’s the strong admiration or something other building up inside. He fell into this fantasy and it burdens him, because he knows he'll never have _that_.

Whatever it is, he needs to figure it out.

"Wanna come back to my place and watch a movie?" Eren probably didn't think twice about the invitation, in fact probably not even once.

Levi, on the other hand, thought about it several times before answering. "Sure." He smiles weakly, but on the inside he's dying. The most pure explosions in his chest, it felt like there's a volcano in there.  _Why, Levi, why do you feel like this?_

Then, it dawned on him like the morning sunrise after a downpour, and the flower petals are weighed down by the remaining shower. The media is this kind of downpour on Eren, they shower over his actual beauty and soak up all the things he isn't. The boy every tabloid tries to portray him as, he's more than that. He's not spoiled, brainless or a terrible person. He's gentle. He's kind, he's so fucking kind. He's more than smart, he did the research--Eren graduated valedictorian. He's very humble, as well. Or, he wants to believe so. 

Levi could easily recall out of the many books he's read, there's always some side character or even the protagonist that is just so unbelievably pure. The character he's sure is in every book that's just pure, the one that shits rainbows and cries stars, and if you were to rip open their chest the entire galaxy hides in there. Their heart is sprouting sunflowers or some other flower everyone adores, and their blood is this mixture of violet and lapis with microscopic diamonds in it. 

Eren doesn’t exactly shit rainbows or cry stars, but goddamn he’s a fucking phenomenon.

They finally make it to Eren's, after a wreck on the freeway. Levi was delayed ten minutes, and when he walked through the door the brunet was already sifting through the drawers in the living room. He slips the platforms off and immediately wobbled around. The extra half inch of height was desperately missed as he stood beside Eren, and the boy had to refrain from looking at Levi so he didn't laugh.

Eren manages a small chuckle, "I've got. . this might sound like the most German thing, but I've got Schindler’s List which is a fairly decent film. Uhhh,” He drifts, “Most of these are Harvey’s, since I don’t have the time to just watch anything.”

Levi nods, taking the movie from him and scanning over the brief description, he’s right. It’s the most German thing he could have whipped out on him, besides that restaurant, and that painting. “Well, I don’t really watch a lot of movies myself.”

Eren takes a side glance, “Ever seen Spirit?” Some part of him hoped he’d say no, so he could be the first to present him with such animated art.

Levi bit his cheek, shaking his head.

And Eren fell into a bit of disbelief and relief. “Well, let me be the first to show you some true art. Not like Max Backmann’s art.”

“Alright.” He settles into the sofa. There’s a few throw pillows and three blankets hanging off the backs for whoever. He immediately reaches for one and wraps himself in it as if he’s in fifty degree weather. Eren stifles a chuckle. “What?”

He tosses his hands up, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt up and sitting down at arms length beside Levi. “I could turn the heat on, if you want?”

Another very cute innocent expression takes over Levi, "Won't that cost more?"

He snorts with disapproval, "It isn't like I've not got the money for it."

Still, Levi protested. “No, no! I’m fine. This is just fine.” The reassurance is void, but Eren let him be.

Fifteen minutes into the movie, Eren got fed up with the slight shiver from the smaller, angular boy and turned the heat on regardless. Even went as far as to force him to wear one of his hoodies. Eren liked the way it looked on Levi, and all he could think about is how desperate he is for someone to erase Craig from his memory. Would Levi be considered a rebound? It's been six months. How does this work?

Levi felt like a child, wrapped up in a hoodie (probably three sizes too large) and a blanket on top of that, watching an animated film about horses. It isn't like anything like the secret life of pets where they chat as humans would, but they're actual animals here. Neighs, stomps of the hoofs, little narration from 'Spirit', but the action taking place helps him understand. This may become one of his favorite movies, even if it made him cry.

Fuck, nearly every ten minutes he was in tears over the shit.

“That,” Levi wipes his cheeks for what felt like the hundredth time. “That was really, emotional.”

Eren nods, “One of my favorites. But, I kind of wished they came out with the second movie. I would’ve watched the fuck out of that.” Eren receives another gentle laugh from the sniffling boy, and finally decided to look at him since giving him his hoodie. He’s pretty, unbelievably pretty. His skin is perfect, milky white, his nearly sapphire eyes compliment the black hair and pale complexion. And it crushed Eren with the usual pang crossing his chest, just thinking of even being in a relationship again made him hurt.

Levi felt a raging blush creeping up, and he tugged on the blanket, even if he was nearly sweating under it. “My friend Farlan said me and Isabel are uncultured for have never seeing it.”

“I agree with your friend, the shit is fucking fantastic.” He huffs in amusement, “Isabel has seen it, she just doesn’t remember.” He input with a gruff tone and stood, sifting through the bin once more. “I’ll be right back.” He mumbles before walking through the curtain to the den.

Levi stayed in the warm area, eyes scanning the room. He’s never had the proper opportunity to look at the photographs on the shelves Eren just stood at. Harvey and Eren have photographs lining the shelves, this is their _home_. A home, Levi’s been in the same place since he was born. But, it has just turned into a place of solitude. It’s not his home anymore.

He stared at the photograph of a somewhat younger Eren, his hair ends just below his jawline and he’s standing with a group of others in their graduation uniforms. He recognized a few from their shared days in high school, like Mimi, Ymir and Krista--oh how he envied them, he remembers how badly he wanted a relationship like theirs. Reiner, one of Bert’s friends, and--oh, Bertholdt. He didn’t know Eren and Bert knew each other, but the more you know.

“I didn’t find anything in the drawers there that I would enjoy,” Eren interrupts his thoughts. Levi turns back over his shoulder to see the taller boy with his hands hanging loosely at his side, hair parted to one side and the dim light casted golden shadows on his skin. He looks _so. Fucking. PRETTY_.

“That’s fine, Eren.” 

“One of my favorite scary movies is on netflix,” He says in a persuasive tone, “Care to watch?”

Levi sends a skeptical look, “What movie?”

Eren smirks, plopping down on the sofa and Levi follows suit, this time sitting closer. He opens the netflix app and sifts through his list of media, finally landing on The Boy.

“Oh, hell yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did go to the 1975's concert back in november 2016 and it was fucking phenomenal !!!  
> & another thing, next chapter contains Isabel and Eren !!! i'm HYPED,, sorry it took 4 chapters :((


	10. Labor Day Weekend In Portland

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this feels kind of rushed, but enjoy !! ㋡  
> feedback & kudos is appreciated !! ❥

Labor Day weekend, although it falls on the following Monday, Eren’s family still goes on vacation. It’s not a long one, just Eren, Zeke (if possible with his busy schedule), Isabel and Isaiah, and the parents.

It's eight thirty in the morning on a Friday, and he wants to sleep in. The drive to Portland will be at most four hours, then it's on to Manzanita beach. He's unsure of what the plans are from there, his family can be very last minute when it comes to short holiday's like this one. But seeing his cousins will be refreshing, not like him and Isabel don't go to the same school or anything, but Isaiah is a sophomore in high school and he hasn't seen him in well over three months. 

"Don't forget the trash," Eren says to a messy haired, shirtless and tired Harvey. "I'll be back Monday night."  

Eren tosses his backpack and two bags in the trunk, they're just going to be gone for four days he has no clue why he packed so damn much. He slid in the driver seat, and prepared for the almost twenty five minute drive to his parents. The home his parents have isn't the one he always lived in. They used to live in the city until Eren's third year in California, Then he had to get used to getting an Uber to the outskirts of the city where there's the more larger and quieter homes. 

He pulls in behind what he could assume is his Aunt Faye's car, it's a family car that's for damn sure. He dreads going in, yeah seeing everyone is refreshing and whatever, but there's the downside that he and Isabel aren't on the greatest of terms. He couldn't ever understand why, she never made a point to understand. But he loves her, adores her even. She doesn't live under a microscope, and she didn't have this huge weight on her shoulders to succeed in life. They would all love her regardless. 

He walked through the large door, it creaks and echoes around the elongated hall leading to the half spiralled staircases. Down between them is the back entrance, and he can see they’ve made well of the space since they bought the place (it's been literal years now). He smiled, there’s not a lot here that doesn’t just scream Carla and Grisha Jaeger. A couple paintings, and photographs from Carla’s travels across the pond, his father’s medals and plaques, Zeke’s accomplishments, Eren’s graduation from Grayce Academy. They’re supportive parents, despite what’s happened thus far in the family.

There’s feminine voices that echo down the hall coming from the kitchen, but he ignores that side of the house and stands in the archway to the living room. There on the sofa with the television clicked on, sits his Dad and uncle--Faye’s second husband, Rob--with beers in hand, while Isaiah plays on his phone.

“Eren!” Isaiah spots him first, dashing to give him a hug. He’s gotten taller since he last seen his cousin.

“Hey,” He grunts at the impact, “You’ve grown.”

“Yeah!” He smiles, “I’m five nine now, but dad says I’m probably gonna get taller.” Oh, yeah, their father--Johnson Magnolia. Groovy dude, in Eren's superior opinion, but it's been a year (give or take) since he's seen him. Loves him a lot, though, but he moved recently to South Dakota. He couldn't imagine being so far away from his parents. 

“Eren,” He hears his name once more, this time from Faye. “Hi, babe.”

He leans down and gets a kiss on the cheek, “Hi, auntie.”

The last to enter the room is Isabel. She and him exchange a glance, but it doesn't last very long. They've not been together as much a family since the beginning of summer, then Fourth of July, and even then Isabel didn't stick around long. She had ditched them before the fireworks even started and went out with her friends. Luckily, Eren's friends made up for her disappearance. But bringing it back, he intends to fix their bond this weekend. 

“Alright, Zeke said he’s almost here.” Carla says.

The family doesn’t sit awkwardly, the parents converse and laugh, but the tension between the two college kids is thick and suffocating. Eren scoffs, walking into the kitchen to get out of that air. He didn’t understand why she chose to hate him, but he also understands why everyone acted different around him. He was, admittedly, different when he came back. Each year, so much changed and he couldn’t keep up with it. But so much changed with him too, and nobody begged to question it.

After ten more minutes, they were all packing into cars and getting ready to go. “Alright, Isaiah and Isabel ride with Eren, Zeke you can drive or ride with Eren.” Grisha says, and immediately the brothers look between each other.

“It’ll save gas,” Zeke shrugs, “But I’m in charge of the radio.”

“Fine by me.”

The only person to protest is, of course, Isabel. She didn’t verbally express it, but whilst helping Eren put their bags in the trunk, she wore a mixed expression and one was definitely a scowl. He brushed it off, as usual, and drove behind their parents to the beach house Grisha bought some odd years ago when they got tired of going to Germany and Cuba--but was mostly because of Faye’s growing joint pains and Grisha’s inability to leave for longer than a week from work.

Zeke put on some of blink-182’s top songs, and the four seemed to thoroughly enjoy the car ride. The tension between Eren and Isabel faded like fog on a window, and the brothers--though are generally confused, and out of the loop--worked around it better than the two of them could, but they chose to ignore it all the same. 

“I request some Hozier.” Isabel finally says after they stop at a gas station, “We play at least four of his songs.”

Zeke sighs, “Fine, anymore requests?”

“Queen.” Eren says as the blond gets out of the vehicle to pump the gas. “Go get some snacks, Isaiah.” He gives the boy a crisp ten dollar bill and he jumps out with more enthusiasm than a pound dog going to its new home. Isabel stiffens, crossing her arms and bringing her knees to her chest, it’s rare she ever lets her hair out of that topknot, and she looks pretty. “How’ve you been?”

She doesn’t look at him from the mirror, “Fine, could be better.”

He nods with an awkward hum, why is it so awkward? “How close are you and Levi?”

This sparks her interest, as her aloe colored eyes shift to him. “Why?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know, he’s interesting.”

“Don’t get any ideas.” She mutters and readjusts herself, “He’s my best friend, and he doesn’t need to be _corrupted_ by you.”

He finally turns to look at her, narrow eyed and lack jawed, “Corrupted? Is that what you think of me?”

She narrows her eyes, “I don’t know what I think of you, to be honest. You're not the same person you were before you left, but it should've been expected."

Before he could snap back, Zeke slides into the passenger seat. By the look on his face, he's overheard a bit and felt the need to put an end to it before it started. "Hozier, you said?" He doesn't look back at the girl, he doesn't need to when he can feel her death glare upon his little brother. She and Eren share that, and he's had enough of it within this lifetime. 

“Yeah,” She leans back in her seat and stares out the window. Soon, Isaiah is back and they’re on the road again.

* * *

“Wow,” Isaiah has been here enough times, but the views never get old.

Zeke and him stroll through the white beach house with too many windows for comfort. A triangular roof with two small skylights on each side over the kitchen, thick, pearl curtains dangling to the hardwood floors with lace on the bottom. To the right of the entrance, there’s a living area with frosty colored sofas decorated with cerulean throw blankets and matching pillows, and a white knitted rug below a rustic looking coffee table with the staircase hidden just perfectly behind a few bookshelves.

Faye and Carla immediately walk towards the back porch of the home, ready to inhale the salty ocean and get a bit of sun. Zeke and Grisha and Rob begin to carry bags to their designated rooms, leaving Isabel and Eren alone once again.

It was as if fate is driving them together, or it could be Eren’s want to fix their bond. He looked down to her awe-stricken features, he feels like the only one who got enough of the beach since he lived in California, but alas everyone lives in Washington. She steps forward, whipping out her phone and he can assume she’s snap-chatting the entire place.

He picks his bag up and enters the room he uses when he comes here, shutting the door and immediately opening the sliding door to the balcony. It isn’t solely his, it’s connected to each room looping around the second floor (which is everyone's room). He finds Zeke and Isaiah already elbow deep in a chess game, and he rolls his eyes.

“You two really have nothing better to do?” He chuckles.

“Hush,” Isaiah says, “We’re playing chess.”

He goes back to his room, still unsure what to do or where to go. Isabel isn’t exactly his best friend anymore, but still, that’s his main goal here. Fix their bond. He switches his t-shirt out for a thin, sheer button up. He leaves it open, exposing his husky form--he’s not as fit as Zeke, but he’s also skinny compared to his brother. He slides down the stairs and finds Isabel at the breakfast bar, and is bold enough to lean down beside her.

“Wanna go somewhere?”

She looks up, seemingly shocked. “What?”

He sighs, “You heard me. Our brothers are upstairs knee deep in a chess game, and our parents are probably drinking wine. Want to go out and get convenient store hot dogs?” There’s a moment of skepticism in her features, as she pushes herself to look out the open frame and indeed their parents are enjoying themselves some wine.

“Let me change.” She says flatly, and he smiles. He waited for about five minutes before she appeared back with a pair of shorts and a bikini top, it’s a halter top so it doesn’t really look like swimwear. “You paying?”

He scoffs, “Naturally.”

The pair exit the house and don’t bother driving, since they’re on the beach and there’s plenty of places lining the area. They walk in silence, somewhat awkward, but all Eren could think about is how she’s agreed to it. Despite the argument, how does she think he’s changed? He’s distinctly moodier, but he’s still him. He’s just heartbroken, and she never asked him about it.

“Convenient store hot dogs,” Isabel hums, “Is this like when we were kids, and mom would send us down the road because she didn’t want to make lunch?”

He laughs softly, “Yeah, but you know they’re good.”

She rolls her eyes, shaking her head. “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Then why did you agree to get one with me?”

“Because you’re paying.” It grew silent after they exchanged a few laughs. Isabel would occasionally look up at him, and still; she sees the sadness in his eyes. She couldn’t recall what for, but it isn’t like she’s ever bothered to ask. “You never told me about your time in Calabasas.” She finally says after what felt like twenty years.

His caribbean eyes glance down, then back ahead. “Oh, yeah. . . I haven’t really told anyone.” He admits. They grab their hot dogs and find a picnic table on the sandy concrete behind a small diner. “Well, admittedly, the only people who really know is Mom, Dad, the few that went to school with me, and Armin. Mikasa knows enough, as do the rest, but I never managed to go in detail.”

She hums, “Why is that? Did something happen?” That’s when she recalls the boy he used to post pictures with, what was his name--Conner? Colten? She couldn’t remember.

He nods, looking out at the ocean, “I never found a reason to explain why I became the way I am, even though you all are my family, I wasn't ever here. I wasn't ever asking how anyone was doing, or even bothering with shit outside of my own life. I was so caught up in finals, or sports or whatever the fuck else I was doing." 

She frowns, despite being hateful towards him she would still like to understand what's been going through his mind. She knows California changes a person, everything about the place just ruins ones insides. "Is that why you stopped coming back after we turned fourteen?" They've not had a proper conversation where they sit and chat about their lives, because they were involved with each other. Isabel would be his go-to, vise versa. 

He nods, blinking back his emotion. "Remember Craig?" She nods. "I've not gone into detail about our relationship to anyone, because why would I want to ruin someone's life with the shit they did in their teens?" He releases a dry, humorless chuckle as he tosses his napkin down on the empty wrapper.

He started posting up with this Craig when he had just turned fifteen, and they seemed happy. Eren smiled a lot, but he didn't really look it after a while. "What happened? When did you break up?" If he's asking her about Levi, she knows he's single. 

"Almost seven months ago, when I had just turned twenty. It's pathetic of me to be counting the damned days." He scoffs once more, "But, I.. you can't tell anyone this. Not a soul, and if you do, I'll. . I don't know what I'll do, just promise me." He pleas, a certain hope in his features as she reaches her hand up with her pinky out. They link fingers, it's always been their thing to keep them together as long as the secret's being shared. "He cheated, like a lot. I mean, not just five or six times, I lost count after twenty. He'd get so fucked up at parties, and just message all these people he met, wouldn't come home until three or four in the morning. Some nights he'd come home at a decent hour and we'd. . well, you know." He earns a cringe from her, and he does so himself. "He was my first. . . everything. I didn't want to lose that, but he pushed me so far away." 

Her initial questions were: _why did you stay when you know his true colors_ , or _why didn't you say something to somebody?_ Initial, unthoughtful and borderline 'I told you so' vibes included. After the facts settled in, she was beyond words. Never in her deepest imagination could she believe Eren fucking Jaeger, who had anger issues as a child and still does (he just got better at hiding it), would just take that. He's not stupid. He wouldn't get involved with someone like that after living with Zeke. He wouldn't force himself through that pain once more.  

"You're leaving something out. Tell me." She urges. 

His eyes trained to the view to the left, then clicks his tongue. "This vacation isn't the right time to do it, especially with Levi writing that article about me. I can't let this get out." 

She's displeased with his distrust in her, as if she'd really have the nerve to run and spill everything to Levi. That brings her back to the striking question on the car ride here, "So, do you not like Levi? Like, as in like-like?" 

He honestly doesn't know how he feels about Levi, he's cute, _interesting_. He felt like he's using Levi as some voice he already has, with this article about him. The thought of being in a relationship again hurts him, because he will end up hurting Levi or the other way around, but some part of him screams that Levi could never hurt him. Even if he tried. He smiles small at the thought, but it confused him why he had a small interest in Levi. He never seen himself with someone like Levi--in no way does he diminish his goals or passions, he's just salty about his own career path--and overall Levi is the complete opposite of Eren. He's shy, hella anxious, an excellent writer but complete shit at words from the tongue.  

They release fingers, and he shrugs. "I'm obviously still fucking sad over my last relationship. I can't put someone else through picking up my pieces. Last time I did, they fucked me over." 

Her mind jumped around at the possible theories, what he might've been doing in California that was so bad, someone had to pick up after him. Then it circled back to the things Zeke did. She remembers her mom and her dad would talk about it some nights. Her dad would even go get Zeke and he’d crash there for the night or however long Grisha was mad at Zeke. She could only fear that’s what Eren was doing, and she doesn’t really doubt it.

“We should get back.” She suggests, “I think Grisha was talking about a yacht or something. Did he recently get one?”

Eren tosses his garbage in the bin with a snort, "Oh yeah, he was tired of renting one." But before they could go anywhere, there’d been a few perched around trying to subtly take photos of him. He mutters profanities in a gruff tone, then grabs Isabel's hand. "Paps here are fucking ruthless, and they don't give a damn what they have to do to get a damn picture." If anyone knows about the assholes in Portland, it's him and Zeke. 

The pair avoid the streets, and aim to walk on the beach instead. Hopefully, they'd escape their shutters and eyes of the public since tons of people tend to be on the beach, but Isabel is the only one with fiery red hair and they've already seen her.  

She glances up at him, and doesn't know if she's asking a stupid question or not. “Why do you avoid the public eye so much?” 

“The media is stupid, everyone tries to make something out of nothing. And I fear if I were in the public eye so often, like Zeke or my Dad, then I’d be rude as hell.” He admits with a smirk.

“You already are an ass, so I don’t know what’s new.”

“Why does everyone call me an ass?” He whines, “At least it’s a nice one.”

They were so focused on getting back to the beach house, they didn’t really take in the view they were passing. But, at least they’ll get that chance when they’re on a yacht out in the ocean. Isabel sighs as they walk up the back steps, meeting their parents who are dressed down in thin clothing and still drinking wine. “Howdy.” She greets.

“Hello, dear.” Faye doesn’t look up from the book she’s reading, “If you all want to go on the boat, Zeke has the keys.”

Eren's brows raise, “You guys aren’t going?”

“Zeke knows how to drive it.” Carla waves her hand, “And, _we’re drinking wine_!” She says the last part of her sentence in a whisper, and she giggles immediately after. Eren and Isabel bite back their laughter, she’s such a funny drunk.

“Let’s get inside,” Eren mumbles, giving her a light push. “They’re so out of it.” He says after getting in the kitchen.

Isabel laughs, “Oh yeah!”

“Heyy.” Zeke walks out, shirtless as usual and wearing a pair of pink swim shorts that go to his mid thigh. “So, we’re going out on the boat. Care to join?”

“Hell yeah.” Isabel says, “Let me grab my towel.” The four scatter and grab what they believe they’ll need. Eren and Zeke fill a cooler with light beers and other drinks--ranging from Smirnoff's to peach teas--and pack a few snacks as well, Isaiah carries the speaker, and Is deals with the towels.

“We’ll be back!” Zeke shouts as they cross the beach, and the parents just wave them off. “I can’t believe Dad trusts me with this shit.”

The four laugh, and Eren says, “Fucking hell, I can’t believe they started drinking so soon.” 

“Wait!” Isabel whines, “We haven’t gotten an updated family picture since. . like, I don’t know, we were seventeen.” The three boys look between each other, then as if Isabel’s request was being granted by the heavens, she stopped someone to take the family picture. She squeezes between Zeke and Eren, all four have some of the widest smiles they could have. “Thanks!” She waves at them as they rush off.

Zeke doesn't go out very far, still within ear shot of the beach house. He honestly doesn't like being here without his Dad, and he's responsible for the three lives other than his own. Isaiah hooks up to the bluetooth despite the protests from his cousins and sibling. He plays Spongebob's Stadium Rave and immediately sent Eren and Zeke into meme mode. Then, after Isabel recorded the true gold of the brothers, he put on 3OH!3. 

Isaiah opens the cooler, "Are you even authorized to serve us alcohol?" 

Zeke snorts, "Who said you could have some?" Eren and Isabel give him a glare, "I was kidding, damn. Isaiah, you're only allowed one. I don't want Faye to scream my head off tomorrow for allowing you any at all." He sighs and pops the cap to one of his drinks, "Oh, Is, I bought this for you." 

He hands her one of those spiked sparkling seltzer, "Thanks!" She smiles widely and pops it open. "Eren, when do you turn twenty one again?" 

“Next March.” He huffs with a frown, still upset he can’t buy alcohol for himself--but has an entire closet full of the shit.

They relax on the boat, making sure to put enough sunscreen on those sensitive to the sunlight--ahem, the Magnolia's and even Zeke. The salty, ending summer breeze washed over them like a high tide, the wind blowing their hair around lazily. Eren and Zeke are the only ones ballsy enough to jump into the water. Isabel protested it, but eventually, Eren tossed her in without question. He was cursed out, but it was very worth it. 

Eren felt a bit more whole, now that him and her are on okay terms. It's still tense between them, only because there's so much missing. What's been going on with her? Her studies, her love life? There's still plot holes in Eren's own life, but he does plan to tell her. 

He does, but he doesn’t know when.


	11. Multnomah Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of back and forth, but i loved writing this chapter even if it was a pain to put into words.

Levi groaned, coming to life very slowly as his mother opened the curtains. “Up, up! Time to get working on that article!” She says, and he hears her picking up his empty water bottles and then the door clicks.

It’s particularly sunny this morning, and that’s when he checked the time. It’s two in the afternoon, _ugh!_ How come he can’t hop on a proper sleep train? He closed his laptop that was perched on his side table, showing a black screen contrasting the once Tom and Jerry. He can’t work on the article right now, it’s a Saturday and he’s still beyond tired. When was it he decided to sleep? Four, five this morning? He can’t remember but he was definitely still up when his mother went to work.

He didn’t do anything but stand by his bed in a mopey fashion. Black thick locks fell over his forehead as he looked to his bare toes. His bottoms cover a majority of his feet, and that’s when he looked at himself in the mirror.

He looks like an E-Boy without even trying. Is that what he can call himself? He’s wearing all black once again. Black cotton pajama bottoms with that aesthetic grid, paired with a black shirt with purple japanese words over an image of Tokyo’s city lights and whatnot. He’s pretty without even trying, but he doesn’t believe so.

He laid back down in bed, grabbing his headphones and plugging into some Queen, that whole Bohemian Rhapsody movie really moved him. He vaguely knew about the life story of Freddie Mercury, and listening to Queen just reminds him of his dad. His dad would always listen, and when they would work together, he’d be playing their songs.

The thought of his dad just makes him tear up.

“Isabel!” Lucas came crashing in Levi’s room, and he shot up, “You didn’t tell me she was dating that dude!”

This is news to him as well, as far as he knew, she’s single. Has been for nearly a year. “What dude?” He came and sat beside him, showing the tabloid article of Isabel holding hands with a tall male at the Manzanita beach. This tall male is actually Eren, and--”They’re cousins, they’re both single as far as I know.” His deep voice grumbles, “Now get out.”

“Grouchy,” He hears him mutter before closing the door. He silently asked if anybody else wants to burst in and disturb him, but he’s not that much of an asshole. He took his phone out, observing the article on twitter. People are so quick to assume he’s dating, or seeing someone. Or really just quick to assume anything.

How it irritated him there’s people who can write up some fantasy work about someone, almost like some of these journalists are fanfiction writers themselves. Then, it clicked. He decided what the first topic of the article would be, no question about it now.

* * *

Eren and Isabel sat out on the balcony after waking up to Zeke and Isaiah having a nerf gun battle out here. The parents went out on some breakfast date, knowing the kids wouldn’t want to go out (Isabel, Eren, and Zeke were too drunk last night to function). Isaiah had been up playing video games in the living room, and the three adults woke with raging headaches and face first in the toilets.

The salty breeze is doing them some good, at least. Eren’s catching up on some of his school work, mostly his history paper, and Isabel is reading a book. She had problems focussing, even scowling at how her cousin could so easily focus on his own work.

“So, were you considered a white teeth teen?” She chuckles.

Eren doesn’t look at her, “Well if I admit it, then I wouldn’t be considered one, will I?”

She huffs, returning to her book. She couldn’t focus, so she left him and went downstairs to attempt to eat. Isaiah is still knee deep in his video games, Zeke is god knows where, and she’s alone again.

Is grabs a strawberry flavored water and started to make pancakes, hopefully this will draw everyone in here.

“Mm,” Zeke appears, shirtless but wearing a pair of cotton pajama bottoms. “Smells grand, they plain?”

Plan worked.

She shakes her head, “No, strawberries and banana flavored. Fresh produce from our shopping trip after getting off the boat yesterday.” She smiles small as she pours three at a time on the large surface.

“Wow, this Faye’s recipe or your own?”

“Moms.” She says, “But I doubt mine will be as great.”

He shook his head, “Doubting yourself will make it taste bad.” With that, he walked upstairs no doubt looking for his little brother.

Eren could smell the sweet scent from outside. It’s a wonder why he’s still sitting here and not going to gorge on the food inside, but he has to get this paper done otherwise he never will. He’s writing for his Art History class, it’s about the Neolithic art--The Jericho Skull. The entire thing is a real human skull but it’s believed to be a portrait because there’s plasters on it and eyes with shells. Not like he hates learning about the way art became what it is today, but he just can’t stand working on it while on vacation.

“Brother,” Zeke came out from Eren’s room, “I’ve been searching for you, what’re you working on?”

Eren looks over his shoulder, “My art history paper. What’s mom cooking?”

Zeke laughs, “They’re not back yet, it’s Isabel.” He informs, “Art history, eh? Well, I’m glad you’re doing something other than medic work.” He’s never had a doubt in his mind that Eren would be the one to cure cancer and end world hunger, but he doesn’t want to instill this false hope that he has to be something he doesn’t want. He enforces Eren to follow his dreams, no matter what they might be.

“Yeah,” Eren sighs with a blow of his cheeks. “I’m five pages in, two more to go.”

“Did you revise it?”

“No, not yet. I’m doing that at the end.” He says as if it’s obvious. Zeke reads a bit over his shoulder, “It’s not the most interesting paper, but it’ll do.”

“No, it isn’t, but to some art student in high school it will be.” He says with a soft smile, “Come on, breakfast is awaiting us.”

Eren looks back to his notebook and laptop, then carries both inside and followed Zeke. The smell is simply overwhelming, but it’s not a bad smell. It smells amazing, it reminds him of when he would sleep over with Isabel. Faye would make these same pancakes and they’d watch cartoons like Scooby Doo or the Wacky Races.

“Hiya boys,” Isabel says, “I’ve got six done, syrup and stuff is over here,” She gestures with her head to the bar and the three boys place two each on their plates. “I’ve got more coming.”

“Yes, please!” Isaiah smiles through a mouth full.

After the filling breakfast, Zeke and Isaiah went out for some good bro-time. Isabel worked a little on her article for class, but Eren was on her mind. He’s still upstairs, and she doesn’t know if he’s sleeping or working on something, but it doesn’t stop her from knocking on the door.

“Eren?” She says softly, and the door opens. “Can I talk to you?”

He nods, yawning. Okay, maybe he was about to nap but didn’t get the chance to. “What is it?” His voice is particularly huskier and deeper.

“Well, we never got a chance to talk about things.” They’ve ignored the potential speak on their bond, despite Eren’s goal, and it irritated both of them.

“Well,” He clears his throat, “What would you like to talk about?”

She sat on the bed, “You.” He gives her a confused look. “Why you and I seperated. . I admit, I stopped trying after so long. You were too far away to reach and, well, you weren’t really there for a lot of things.”

He nods, but remains silent.

“You were my best friend, Eren. And without you here, I got lonely.”

“I don’t blame you, but you knew what I was going for.” His tone sounded accusing, but his eyes were gentle. “We were young, it’s excusable.”

This is going nowhere, she wants to know what happened. “You said someone picked up the pieces for you in Calabasas.” She blurts, “What pieces?”

He shifts uncomfortably, immediately closing his arms up. Eyes flicker from his face to his arms, obviously uncomfortable with his thoughts.

“You were doing drugs, weren’t you?” Her eyes narrow, and he doesn’t answer. He doesn’t even have the courage to look her in the eyes. “Eren,” She calls, grabbing his shoulders. “Does anyone else know?”

“No,” He answers, still not looking her in the eyes. “And they won’t. They can’t know. Everyone has such high hopes in me, and all this pressure is just. . it’s a lot.” He confesses, tears brimming his eyes. “It’s so much, Is.”

Her arms wrap around him and her shoulder acts as a tissue for him. He trembles as his arms return the embrace, he felt her fingers rub at the base of his neck to comfort him, and her other hand rub his back. He didn’t really want to confess it this weekend, but his emotions have been working him raw.

First, Craig posted a picture on his snapchat story with another guy. He didn’t think anything of it, but his heart pounded in his chest. Then, his instagram bio changed and another photo with the same dude. His initial thoughts were Craig’s just trying to make him jealous, and it won’t work. But it’s so egocentric of him to believe this is anything to do with him, it doesn’t!

None of it had to do with him, Craig is actually happy with him. _He’s happy_.

“Shh,” Isabel continued to hush him, and at some point he was finally able to hear her. “I love you, Eren.” She whispers in a reassuring tone, gripping his shirt for dear life.

He couldn’t muster the strength to say those words back, but the way he clung to her might somehow pass the feelings through. She is his best friend. Always has been, always will be.

  


Isabel and Eren stayed in his room until Zeke came up and begged for them to go somewhere. For being a grown man, he sure has issues being alone. Isaiah stayed at the house with the parents and they were playing some board game when they had left.

“Fancy, fancy,” Isabel singsongs, smirking. Eren looks down, _oh,_ the Gucci belt. He doesn’t ‘flex’ as hard as most expect him to. He has his Chuck’s, some Champion hoodies and american eagle jeans but he doesn’t call any of that ‘flexing’.

“Ever treated yourself to a four hundred dollar belt?” Zeke chuckles, and she does as well.

Eren rolls his eyes, “And you’re saying that as if you don’t have six of them.” Who in their right mind buys six Gucci belts just because? “And you have a Gucci hoodie dad bought you last Christmas.” He looks down to Isabel.

“Well, I don’t bring it everywhere!” She protests, but he’s seen her in plenty of posts on Instagram wearing the item in South Dakota and even New York. “Where are we going anyways? Eren and I aren’t twenty one if you want to go drinking.”

Zeke scoffs in humor, “No! Drinking? Can’t do that, not this early.”

“We’re not quite our parents, _yet_.” Eren says.

“Then what are we doing?”

Zeke hums, “Well, Manzanita doesn’t offer a lot to do, and I haven’t been to certain places in Portland since me and Pieck broke up.”

“You need to man up and get back together with her, I’m tired of hearing about these blind dates Annie keeps setting her up with.” Eren sighs.

Zeke gives him a confused look, then replaces it with the light smile he had before. “Anyways, Multnomah Falls is nearly a three hour drive, if you guys are up for it?” Zeke raises hopeful brows. It’s just one in the afternoon, and it isn’t like the family really has much planned.

Isabel and Eren look between each other, “Okay.”

  


The drive there was quicker than expected, light traffic and good parking. The walk is just five minutes, and there always seems to be people everywhere they go. Eren and Isabel were in awe, never having been here before in their whole time of traveling to and from Oregon.

“Wow,” They say in unison. Zeke is smiling, but on the inside he kind of crumbles. Eren’s right, he does need to scoop Pieck back up before he loses her for good. It’s been awhile since he’d seen her, and he misses her. Being here just reminds him of the wide smile she had when they were just eighteen, that was a bit over ten years ago.

“It’s pretty, innit?” He says softly, leaning on the railing.

The water rushes and it sounds like one of those subdued playlists on spotify. The entire scenery looks like an image off a syfy show, it kind of gave Eren the fantasy feel. Twilight, the show where the girl falls through the stone into like the 1700’s, Game of Thrones vibes.

Eren and Zeke were in total awe, despite the blond being here several times. Isabel returns from the nauseous overlook to the other side where they lean on the railing, smiling to herself. They’re so much alike, and it’s amusing. Her and Isaiah are alike in some aspects, but when it comes down to it, he’s more a pushover and naive than Isabel is. She took a photo of the two without them knowing, and they carried on with their day.

* * *

Levi’s topics had been all over the place, thank fuck this is just a rough draft. The first topic of the article had been the introduction, of course, and what will draw the audience in. It’s some eye-catching, nearly clickbait title.

**Ever wondered who Eren Jaeger _truly_ is?** _He is: selfish, bitter, incapable of caring for himself, uses his parents for money and stability because he can’t offer it himself. Yet nobody has ever taken the time to get to know Eren Jaeger, nobody has seen Eren from any other perspective than the media’s, and they take their word for it._

That’s all he has revised, of course this entire article turned into debunking each claim about Eren in the media. Of course he made the entire thing about Eren, as if to boost the boy’s ego even more. He got little feedback from Grisha about his team, just vague but told him he’d give Eren the rundown. Zeke has similar opinions to Eren, so he didn’t find it necessary to make a whole column about it when he could just say _Zeke and Eren believe dot-dot-dot_.

He decided time well spent would be outside, so he got in his car and drove to the bookstore. It’s not outside, but it is out. He treated himself to a new book or two, since he’s finished reading all the others (or disliked so much he didn’t finish) in his bookshelf. He didn’t like going to real bookstores like BAM or B&N, he liked thrift books or McKay’s. He’s bought quite a few novels for the ripe prices of three dollars every time. He sat in his car after getting Starbucks and Chick-fil-A, putting on a bit of VAV and opened the book, Thanks For The Trouble by Tommy Wallach. He liked the synopsis, and he adored We All Looked Up. Tommy might just become one of his new favorite authors, even if these books are a few years old--everything past 2010 is new to Levi.

He was on the third page, mouth full of waffle fries when he got a phone call.

“Hello?” He didn’t even look at the tag, just assuming it be one of his friends.

“Hey,” The voice that came through the line nearly made Levi spit his food out, as his eyes widen and he stiffens, hoping he can’t hear his heavy breathing.

“Hi, Eren, uh-wha-um-what’s up?” He stammers, coughing to cover his nerves.

“I’m at Manzanita beach, family vacation.” He informs, “How’s the article going?”

He tried to forget about the damned thing. “Oh, yeah, it’s going.” He replies with a bit of a mouth full. “I’m sorry, I was eating.”

“Chick-fil-A?” Eren guesses, “You just always get it when I text.” He chuckles softly.

Levi gulps down the last bit, “Yeah, one of my favorites I guess. I saw that post about you and Is, and I would just like to say congratulations.” He stifles a chuckle.

Eren laughs, “At least someone said it! Thanks, hey-HEY ISABEL!” He laughs harder, and he can hear her on the other end. “Levi said congrats on our relationship,”

“Oh for fuck sake.” He hears her fading voice.

Levi laughs softly, “How was your day? O-or, like, I mean, what have you and your family done today?”

Eren hums, and it makes Levi’s heart skip a beat. “The more adultier adults played board games with Isaiah for about two hours until Monopoly and Uno were about to cause my dad and aunt Faye a divorce. Zeke, Is and I went to Multnomah Falls, very gorgeous place.”

Levi listens to him go on and on about the place, how it’s not like a terrible hike or something hidden, it’s just there and beautiful. He said he got plenty of photos, and even offered to send them to Levi.

“I’ve not really been out of state. My dad offered to get me and my brother plane tickets out to Arizona, but I don’t really know how I feel about that.”

“When?”

His question throws Levi off, “When what?”

“When did he offer?”

“Like, a couple days ago, but I don’t know if I should.” Levi admits, “I’ve got classes to worry about, I can’t just drop everything when it isn’t even the middle of the semester.”

“Well, did the thought ever occur that maybe you could invite him up instead? Just a thought, doesn’t need to be put into action if you don’t want to.” Eren says. “But, if it were my dad I would try to meet somewhere in the middle. I don’t know your relationship with him, but from everything I hear I know you love him.”

_Yes, I do love him. I love him so much but he left me, and he had been for years._ Levi wanted to say, but what was the point? “Yeah, you’ve got a point.” He decided to leave out the fact in those short six months he’s got another kid on the way. “I just don’t want to leave out of state and have a shitty time, I guess.”

“I know, it sucks when things don’t turn out the way you want it to.” He sighs. It stays silent for a second, save Levi sipping his drink. “What are you doing next Friday?”

Levi nearly choked again, but mumbled a ‘hold on’ as he whipped his planner out of his bag. He opted to write the shit down rather than hold it all on his devices because at any point they could go missing or he’d have to reboot them. “I’ve a two hour class at nine, it’s my film studies.”

“Wow,” Eren stretches the syllable, “Film studies? So, you’re a writer and filmmaker?”

Levi would protest, but he does a little directing for the plays sometimes, a little script editing. “Could say that,” He releases a breath. “Is it just medicine in the books for you? I remember you telling me about your arts.”

“Hm? Oh,” Eren seemed sidetracked. “I’ve got an Art History class, Russian three, and that’s it, outside of medical path.” He clarifies.

“My creative and professional writing classes grill me. I’ve taken Art History. That’s kind of why I know what I do, I’ll admit.” He and Eren laugh at it. “I didn’t partake in it because I was so interested in art, it was rather something to do and fill my time.”

“Why’s that?”

He shrugs only to himself, “Ever just thought about things, and said to yourself: ‘this isn’t who I want to be.’? Because some days, I feel I can do so much more than just write.”

There’s silence on the other end for a few seconds, “You don’t know what your words will do, they may save someone, make them feel angry or sad or happy. We need people like you to push the rest of us, because people like you are living the dreams of those who never got the chance.”

Levi sat in silence this time, appalled and confused. He’s not aiming to be an inspirational writer, or even someone who writes the deepest of novels. He’s simple, simple plot and big bangs here and there. She isn’t grand. “Thank you,” he murmurs, a blush crashing on his cheeks.

“I’m serious,” Eren says once more. “If it isn’t too much to ask, show me some of your manuscripts?”

“Next Friday, then?”

He hears Eren huff and can feel his smile. “Yeah, next Friday.”


	12. Krista Lenz's Parties Usually Rock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> should i go ahead and say, there's a trigger warning (maybe) for this chapter? cause there is.

Levi was very anxious, but the time gap between now and this upcoming Friday is considerably large. He didn’t really work on his manuscripts more than he worked on the article, he finally got down another few claims. The most recent ones amuses him to no extent: _Eren Jaeger sold his soul to the devil! He will poison our world!_ The attachment is a written interview by a journalist in his class asking the man, or whoever, why they believe that theory.

It’s a compelling argument, if you’re religious or superstitious. This is just silly, it’s odd that ‘the devil’ would send someone to poison the world by creating a cure that will eventually still kill them. Sounds like The Vampire Diaries, when they find a cure but it kills them in the span of what? A week or two? The argument is silly. He wouldn’t bother with that, he couldn’t debunk it by simply saying Eren isn’t religious. The one that he could really work for a good two six sentenced paragraphs is: _Eren is a rotten-son-of-a-bitch doctor and doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s just in it for the money_.

In his stellar opinion, Eren is a fantastic doctor and knows more than the average person. However, he knows the entire education convo will be controversial and won’t support his case so much. Considering Eren stated things should simply be introduced, and it should be optional if the student wants to learn more (or their future goals require it). He one hundred percent agrees, and as the writer, he could insert an objective opinion himself.

“Leevi!” Hange knocks on his open door, food bag in hand with Harvey behind her. “We brought you some food, and company.”

“Yes. How are you doing, by the way?” They sat down in the chairs by his closet, already digging into their McDonald’s bag. “Kuchel said you’ve been cooped up here all weekend, does it have to do with your depression or the article?”

He doesn't look at them as he digs into his own McDonald's. He shrugs. It could just be both, but he couldn't deny his want to lie in bed constantly comes from feeling lonely. "Dunno, I've had my nose in it for a couple hours now." It's currently noon, he's been up since eight this morning with a sudden burst of inspiration. So sudden, so abrupt, it woke him from his sleep. 

Hange hums, "That's nice, but you think you're gonna get it done before the end of the semester?" Her question is valid, since Levi is a closeted writer. He likes to revise, read over it ten times, think it's worthy, but then revises it once more, then he cries about it and reworks it for another week. 

"I hope so." He answers with a small smile. The reflection of the screen bounces off his frames, and Hange could almost read (backwards) an entire paragraph with notes attached. 

"I do too." She says, dismissing the topic. "Harvey and Jessica are probably breaking up." 

Levi almost snorted, they've been so close to this for months. Five months, Harvey's been sitting on this decision for five months while he's banging her. He looks over to an annoyed Harvey. 

"Yeah," He leans back. "She's gotten so controlling in the past few months. I don't want to stay with someone who's in love with some imaginative me, or whatever it is you said." He gestures with a fry vaguely between his fingers. 

"Like Daniel Sloss's jigsaw." Levi nods to himself, more talking to himself as well. You wouldn't really understand unless you already know. He sits back in his chair, releasing a 'huh' and eating his food sparingly. 

"It's so shitty." He says in a sigh, "I love her, I love her so much, but she doesn't show her love back." He keeps going on and on, they've heard a similar rant for months now. 

Levi sighs as well, "I don't mean to dismiss you feelings, but fuck her." He really could come up with something better, but their interactions are kind of strange (she's a jealous girlfriend). "She acts like a prissy princess, do this-do that! She's so annoying, Harvey." 

"Well, it's a good thing you're not into women then." He pauses, thoughtfully chewing on a nugget, "Well, I don't know what you're into." 

"My dad said the same thing," Levi says, almost sadly. "My mom's beginning to think I'm not actually gay, just asexual and aromantic." He says with a weak chuckle. He, at first, didn't believe her. He came out at twelve, which is really young to really put all that together, but he knew way before then he didn't like girls. It wasn't like 'I played with barbies not cars' type of thing. He was absolutely the boyest boy you'd ever met. He never found girls attractive, but it's always more than that. Boys have always had this weird affect on him. 

It brought him back to Eren that night he invited Levi back to his house and they watched countless animated films. Levi waited for Eren to tell him to leave, but instead made them chicken tacos, then Harvey joined them in watching Kubo and the Two Strings. A movie none particularly cared for, but the two ran out of things to watch. It seems PG and PG-13 animations are their favorite thing to watch together. 

The memory made his heart leap. Had he felt this exact way around other boys? He can’t remember.

“Levi.” Hange snaps her fingers, “Earth to Levi, are you good?”

He shook his head lightly, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

They thought more about the sensitive topic of Levi's father than his lack in relationships. They've never teased him for it, but it didn't promise others didn't. He remembers in school, their mutual friend Ymir--not really his friend, just someone who helped him and hung out frequently with Hange and spoke a lot on Eren--would occasionally land herself in the principal's office for laying a hand on a couple boys for calling him a 'faggot.' 

“It’s fine, guys.” He assures, “I…my dad invited me and Luke to Arizona, but--”

“WHAT!?” They both exclaim.

Levi held his ear, “Wow, okay.”

“What did you tell him?” Hange’s eyes sparkle, “Oh, imagine you being in Arizona, wow! It'll be like Bella Swan but reversed roles.”

Harvey smiled along with her, “When?”

He shrugs, “He called a few days ago then sent a text message. I haven’t given him a solid answer, but he also told me to pass the message to Lucas, so that means he hasn’t talked to him.” Levi reveals. “I just, I don’t want to be the reason Luke and him separate.”

Hange sits on the bed close to him, “Levi, the only thing that could ever come between them is each other’s pride.”

“Wrong,” Harvey furrows his brow, “Uh, there’s plenty of things that can intervene. Like the simple fact Luke lives here, his schoolwork and everything rotating up here, Kolton’s work or whatever the fuck he’s doing down there.” Harvey continues to make valid points, then ends it with, “And if you haven’t told Luke, it’s essentially up to you if Luke can see him.”

Levi shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He has to talk to his mom about this, he should have when he got the message. "I have to talk to mom about it." He says, "I can't decline without Luke's input." 

"I agree," They suddenly hear, Kuchel stood at Levi's still open door. "I do wish he would have talked to me first instead of you, but at least he's trying." She took the seat beside Harvey.

 "He should have talked to you instead of me." Levi mutters. 

"You've neglected to return his phone calls, and ignore his texts." She deadpans. "He tells me about it, Levi. Luke occasionally talks to him, but like Harvey said he has his life here and your father has his life there. He just wants to keep his relationship with you two." 

Hange and Harvey silently agree with a nod. Well, it's kind of hard to keep their previous relationship when; 1) he lives in a different state and timezone, 2) Levi doesn't know if he wants to keep it. He felt pressured, obviously, he doesn't want to go to Arizona alone and doesn't want to be the reason Luke can't see their dad. Luke is company, yeah, but Luke is his brother and they'd be going to see their father. They'd meet the woman their father met a year or two prior to the divorce and whom he is going to have a child with, and he doesn't even know if his own mother knows this. He won't tell her. He wished he didn't even know. 

“Okay.”

 

 

 

After the entire conversation, Levi finally got the courage (really, really late at night) to talk to Lucas. He seemed underwhelmed, but it was just his initial reaction. Then, Levi said he'd think about going, Lucas lightened. 

That's been three days ago. Right now, he's walking the halls with Isabel, Bert, and Farlan. They're trying to find something to do while their journalism class had been unexpectedly canceled. Bert wanted to play football (soccer, his mom is from across the pond), while Is and Farlan wanted to do something in the middle. Like just sit outside and talk.

“So,” Farlan sat down, almost like an excited mean girl to get the ‘tea’ from some girl she’d never acknowledge on a good day. “Tell me, what’s it like working on Eren?” The way he said it, it’s as if they’re fucking and Levi’s getting paid to write good yelp reviews.

He cringes, “I guess it’s alright.” And they left it at that. Levi wanted to talk about how fun it is to hang out with Eren, and their few dates (that he isn’t sure were professional or friendly). He wanted to talk about Eren’s art, and how talented he is as a person, how incredibly smart he is, and how fucking _pretty_ he is.

He isn't sure if this is now just his own feelings and the idolization has faded, or if the admiration is enforcing these emotions. He knows Eren, a bit more than he used to at least, and he can say he admires his brain, his work ethic, his relations. He likes Eren's concentration, his intense interest in other's lives or whatever it is they're talking about. He's invested himself in other's lives, and that's what makes him so damn great. 

The group disband when Bert has another class and Farlan has an experiment assignment with Hange, but Isabel sticks to Levi’s side. She links arms with him, and couldn’t help but notice the sudden change in apparel. He doesn’t own this brand, he doesn’t own Champion clothes. He might own a sweatshirt that was definitely Luke’s before, but he doesn’t have an oversized white hoodie with the logo printed across it.

“That’s new,” She points out. “You switching your style up?”

He looks down, then blushes. He might’ve left out the simple fact Eren let him wear his hoodie home. He meant to give it back, he really did, but Eren’s scent is so fucking marvelous. It’s like, this aromatic rained over floral garden, and somehow he doesn’t smell like a hospital. He smells clean, definitely, but not like a hospital clean.

“No." He answers too quickly, "I mean, maybe?” He questions himself, he did like the way it looks on him (only because it’s Eren’s). He still very much prefers the black hoodie from The 1975’s merch store.

“I’m surprised Eren let you leave with it.” She sighs, earning a look from Levi. “It’s his favorite.”

His heart could not have beat any harder in his chest, it might have actually exploded. Eren insisted he wear it home, since he was quite literally shivering like he lived in an igloo. He reluctantly did, but he also fell asleep in it and smiled at himself in the mirror when he saw how cute he looked. How he looked in Eren's eyes, and he thought maybe Eren liked the way it looks on him. Maybe? 

“Levi!” He heard his name, and it’s that brunette Ymir dashing towards him and Isabel. “Hey, so glad I caught you.”

"What's up?"

She panted, for being on the University's softball team she sure is having a hard time catching her breath. "Krista...party...Bert said you's going home." She rushed, and both could barely understand her. 

“Huh?”

She laughs only to herself, pushing her somewhat longer hair out of her face. “Krista, my pretty little girlfriend, is throwing a party this weekend. It’s at her place in downtown Seattle.”

“Send me the deets,” Isabel winks. “We’ll be there!” She says louder as Ymir jogs back to wherever she was.

“Isabel,” He says in an almost scolding tone, “We _are not_ going.”

“Lighten up, Levi.” She frowns, getting in his passenger seat. “You haven’t been to a single party, except Krista’s birthday parties and that weird shit Hange does every halloween. We’re juniors and we need to live a little.”  

Levi scolded himself in his head, he has plans with Eren friday. What if this party skews those plans? He doesn’t want to be at a party where his anxiety will increase, there’ll be people doing drugs and drinking (not like he hasn’t smoked weed or had a couple shots of vodka in his lifetime, he just doesn’t enjoy it in large quantities). He didn't really want to go, but this is _Krista Lenz_. The soft and adorable blonde with angelic blue eyes and a laugh that’s quite literally a melody Jesus himself wrote. Well, regardless of who she is, he doesn’t plan on attending.

 

 

 

Maybe he didn’t _plan_ on it, but because Eren had also unexpectedly canceled his plans with no context and he didn't want to be alone tonight. So he went. He wasn’t mad about it (more like annoyed and anxious). He tore his closet apart, and finally landed on a muted yellow shirt with a thin, black turtleneck underneath, and black skinnies. Yellow converse to compliment the shirt.

Levi ended up driving Isabel, since they were showing up together. Luckily, they scored a spot just across from her house. They’re so glad she lives in a semi-secluded area. Her house is huge, like not just that big house on the block that’s totally cluttered, this is like Kim K’s house. It’s wide inside, high ceilings and marble flooring. It’s gorgeous.

_She is that bitch._

Levi gripped to Is’s hand for life as she tugged them through the house. The kitchen is farther from the front door than it should be. “Krissy!” She smiles as they enter the kitchen.

Krista smiles and hugs Isabel with the same enthusiasm, “Glad you guys could make it,” She took a glance to her friends, “I don’t know if y’all remember each other, but that’s Jean, Connie, Armin, Sasha, Annie, and we all know Mimi and Eren. This is Isabel and Levi.”  The group nods their way. Jean is as tall as Bert with longer blondish brown hair, and nicely built with his spare arm around the one he could remember being Sasha. 

He just felt so intimidated by all of them. They're all so tall, and most of the boys have muscle more developed than a brain. Armin is a bit taller than himself, his buff chest and shoulders with veins leading up from his knuckles say he could fuck anyone up if he wanted. 

Meanwhile, Eren's eyes were preoccupied on Levi, face void of emotion as his orbs scan his being. Levi didn't notice, at least not until he looked at Eren. He didn't seem to be too happy, but the pearly grin he flashed Levi showed otherwise. He's just lifeless until someone pays attention to him. 

"Hi," Levi says softly as he maneuvered between Eren and the counter. Eren bit down on his bottom lip subtly as he smiled, and luckily Levi had been preoccupied with whatever the group was doing. 

“Ai, isn’t that the kid writing that article about you?” Connie asks, hand gripped firmly around a bottle as if he were about to bash it over Levi’s skull.

Levi clams up, mouth opening and closing, but Eren saves him. “Yeah, what of it?”

It just seemed all of Eren's friends have that resting bitch face until given attention, "Just thought we'd be meeting on more appropriate terms." He sends a wink towards Eren, and Levi caught that. The blush that eased across his tan cheeks was undeniably adorable, but then Eren's hand smacked the back of his friends head before anymore conversation went on. 

He’ll just pretend he didn’t hear or see any of that.

The party was going as expected, he's not really been to one. He watched Isabel take shot after shot provided by Ymir, and then Nelly's Just a Dream started blaring through the speakers (again, Ymir's provided playlist). Eren's friends and Isabel were all shout-singing the lyrics in a slur. Levi just sat back and watched, a smile on his lips watching Eren dance around like a toddler (thanks to Isabel, he got a glimpse of Eren's fantastic moves over the past weekend). He's got moves, oh yeah, but it took several bottles to get him there. 

"Hey, pretty thing." A slurred voice spoke beside him. Towering over him is a redhead with a hell of a creepy smile. "Why are you all alone? Why aren't you dancing?" He dared to put a hand on Levi. He froze. He didn't know what to do, because he's never been hit on. Ymir's right, the gays in Seattle are wild. 

Levi choked back a breath, "Uh, please don't." He says weakly, trying to move away but there's a wall blocking his way. 

The stranger brings his hand to brush back Levi's bangs, and all he could do is stand there. "Don't pull away," He says in a pout, "I just want a good time, and I know you can give me that." His breath reeks of liquor, nothing pleasant to say about this dickhole. 

The raven was tempted to throw the drink in his face, but what good would it do? He's scared enough as is, he doesn't need a built, drunk, horny gay running after him. "Please." He begs once more, but he refused no for an answer. "Stop-" he struggles with his nerves for a second, "-stop!" He says louder, while his gross hand tries to fiddle its way under his two shirts. Levi's own hand pushed against his chest, trying to put as much distance he could between them. 

"Hey." They both pause, hearing a stern, deep and booming voice. "He said stop. What part of consent do you not understand?" Eren didn't touch either of them, but his fists were balled up at his hips, ready to serve a well-deserved ass-whooping. 

The nameless redhead, annoyed obviously, turned a little over his shoulder. "And what are you going to do about it, _Jaeger-bomb_?" He says his common nickname in a mocking way. "You're just a-" hiccup, "-a weak little bitch! Hah! Always have been," He taunts, removing his eyes from Eren and muttering, "Get outta here, get back to what's his name before you get in--" Before he could finish, Eren slammed his head into the wall.  

The loud crack of the wall breaking echoed around the room, despite the blasting speakers. "I think consent is necessary before committing any actions, don't you?" His large hand held the boy's head against the wall with a strong force. Sure, Eren may not have gotten consent before doing this, but some things have to be done. Eren grabbed his hair and wasted no time in getting him away from Levi while the others rush to Levi's side. 

"Are you alright?" and "Levi, talk to us." kept being repeated in his ears. Even that Connie dude was concerned. He blinked several times, and before he could process the events, he's being dragged upstairs to a room. It's pretty, distractingly white and gold, and the bed is comfortable. Is this where he would've dragged Levi had nobody noticed? 

Ymir snaps her fingers in front of his face, "Levi, talk to us." 

His once lively blue eyes look completely drained, his skin is terribly pale--well, much more than his usual tone. He's shaking. He blinked once, meeting Ymir's eyes. "Uh," He couldn't reply with actual words, he didn't even get past that one sound. 

Ymir's own eyes meet the ones surrounding them. Levi was more amazed at how hyper aware they are (which raises the question if this has ever happened before?) despite their intoxicated state. Shit like this doesn't just happen in real life. Even though he knows he's looking at their lips, he's hearing them speak, but he can't understand them. They're a ringing in his ears, and he didn't know how to answer their questions (if they were asking him any at all). Not like he really wanted to. He just experienced a hint of sexual assault, he was touched and he didn't want it. He shouldn't have come to begin with. He really should not have. No, he shouldn't have. 

It was repeating in his mind, as everyone just sat and stared at a slowly breaking down Levi, that he should have stayed home. _I ruined a good time, I shouldn't be here._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any thoughts on our poor Levi baby?(he is baby) predictions for next chapter? let me know how you felt about this chapter !  
> (i really believe i could've done better)


	13. Foreshadowing Murals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> levi is a sweet baby :( he did not deserve that. big sad.

The morning Levi woke, he didn’t really realize where he was or what he had been doing there. Not until he saw the cracked door with that familiar blonde coming through.  _ Oh, you’re awake  _ she had said to him, and then proceeded to ask him if he was okay and offered him a freezing cold bottle of water and aspirin. 

He knew he wasn’t drunk last night, because the lingering taste of a blue-raspberry kool aid on his tongue. He blinked through the rather vivid and rapid images flicking in his mind, he physically feels the hands on his body and the rumble of the wall when Eren smashed the dude’s face against it. He didn’t remember much, nothing but the images and touch. In the moment, he wished for the comfort of his mother’s arms, but god no--she will  _ not _ find out about this.

“I’m fine,” It felt like a lifetime since they’d heard his voice.  

“You aren’t,” Ymir counters, wearing nothing but a bra and boxers at the door. “I’ve been assaulted before. I reacted the same way, it’s terrifying and traumatic.” 

His blue eyes meet her hazel ones, “What?” 

She nods in a way that’s kind of defeating, “Krista, can I talk to you?” The two step outside the door and chat silently, and Levi once again feels like a burden. This is exactly why he doesn’t do social things, or really go outside of his comfort zone. These people aren’t his closest friends, and they don’t even talk everyday. But that part doesn’t matter, what matters is they care enough to genuinely help him. 

“Levi,” Krista walks in, sitting down by his blanketed feet. “Your car is still here, but Ymir doesn’t think you should drive because you’re still very tired and obviously traumatized.” 

“No-” He blurts, cutting off the rest of his thought.  _ His mom cannot know about this. _ “I-I can drive myself.” 

“Well I’m the one with the keys, Ackerman.” He hears Ymir. “And everyone is still here, Jean, Connie, Mimi, anyone of us would gladly drive you home.” 

“You’re all hungover, I can’t--” 

“Levi.” Krista suddenly says in a stern voice, “This isn’t something we can argue over! Ymir is driving you, and--Mikasa!” She shouts down the hall, “Mikasa is gonna follow you.” 

Mikasa appears with her long hair in a bun and is very tired, but accepts. “Okay.” 

  
  
  


The last thing he needed was his cousin talking in depth to his mother about last night’s events. He ignored everyone and changed out of those clothes (one of his favorite outfits, and now it feels like a booty call), opting for an oversized shirt that goes to his knees. He crawled in bed, hearing his mom shout profanities and demanding to know who did it, but Levi doesn’t want to know. 

Mikasa came in his room, knocking but still barging in anyways. “Levi,” She calls softly, closing the door behind her. “We know who it was but I won’t give you his name. After what Eren did, I’m sure he won’t bother you again.” She’s making a stupid promise, of course he will. He’d do it just to spite Eren. 

“It doesn’t matter.” He counters in a rough voice, “I just need sleep. I need to sleep.” 

“Levi,” 

“Mikasa, please.” His voice cracks. She nods and leaves his keys on the desk. He rolled over and blinked, trying to get rid of the emotions. He was trying not to think about what Ymir said, he was trying not to think about the drunken kid’s head against a wall, and Eren’s face when he did it. 

But instead of trying not to think, he just overwhelmed himself with the guilt and resentment for himself, and cried into his pillow.

* * *

 

Eren had woken up more angry than he ever was, he didn’t drink after the incident with Levi. He woke up and Ymir drove him home, and he was thankful. He was scared if he drove himself, he’s show up at Floche’s frat house and continue the fight there. He didn’t know he was gay, or even bisexual. He’s never been seen as such, but being drunk won’t be his excuse. 

He felt like shit. The only thing he did this morning was shower, and he couldn’t bring himself to eat. Too preoccupied with his thoughts and memories. How is Levi? What’s he doing right now? He was awfully shaken up, him being touched and then witnessing Eren assault someone probably doesn’t set well with his spirit. 

“Bro,” Harvey came out with widened eyes and a phone in hand, “Did you do this?” 

Eren squints looking at the text message he received from Floche. The right side of his face is bruised and his lip is busted. Serves him right. 

“Yeah.” 

Harvey became infuriated, “Eren, the fuck!?” He tosses his phone on the counter. “Why do you let your temper get the best of you? You know, I’m so--” 

“He hit on Levi.” He cuts him off flatly. “Levi said no, and he proceeded to touch Levi. If I didn’t stop him, Levi could’ve been raped. And if it were up to me this morning, I would drive myself to finish the fight while we’re sober.” 

He left it at that, walking to his room and whipping out his laptop, angry and bitter he is that: 1) Harvey accused him of getting out of control (as if he goes around beating just anybody up). 2) Floche did what he did. He could understand why Harvey was upset, Floche had been an exceptionally good friend to Harvey, but it didn’t make Eren and Floche’s hatred dissipate. Hell no, there would have to be a moving of mountains and a war to end their hate. And finally, 3) Levi is (which shouldn’t come as a surprise) such an amazing person, and he didn’t deserve that. 

No matter the person, they do not deserved to be sexually assaulted. 

He would’ve thought today was a day to catch up on some school work. His grades were suffering because of how much time he spent there, he should’ve just worked in the lab. The cons of that is, he wouldn’t have bonded more with Pieck as a friend and not just his older brother’s ex girlfriend, he wouldn’t have had the courage to finally break up with Craig, and he wouldn’t have the support he does. 

Regardless, everyone would support him either way. So, he worked on his art. The room he brought Levi to previously is an attached area to his room, covered corner to corner in graffiti and other paintings. He has painters tape on the walls and floor, but it’s been covered a hundred times over since he’s lived here. 

He opened the window, turned his playlist on shuffle, and paint pours from his veins. 

  
  
  


Perhaps it had been too long he was stored away in his little room. He had no idea what he was really doing, he just needed to escape the real world and whatever he it is he’s doing is getting the job done. His hands are covered in paints, whites and blacks up his forearm as he intensely worked on the piece. 

It’s on the floor, but it looks so good. In his opinion. 

It’s smeared, blurry, a blurred image of a stormy breeze blowing on a field. White flowers getting caught up and losing petals or growing weak from the strong force. He didn’t know the symbolism behind it, if there was even supposed to be one. He had no clue. Anyone could say this might represent a dissociative identity disorder, or anxiety, or even prediction of an impending bad event. He would say, perceive it as you wish. Like quoting the Princess Bride, except not. 

“Eren,” He heard a voice over the speakers. 

He looked up to see Mikasa and Connie standing at the open door, “What is it?” He turned the volume down. “Is everything all right?” 

“We actually just got bored. Armin’s out with somebody, Sasha and Jean are out on date night.” He nods as if it’s to be expected, “And we just needed something to do.” 

He looks to his hands, “Mind giving me time to get this off my body?” 

They nod and walk back to the main part of the house. He shifted around carefully as not to ruin his masterpiece, walking to the bathroom and scrubbing the living hell out of his skin. It’s one part he couldn’t stand about painting, the evidence is all over your body and it’s a bitch to get off. 

He switched out of the paint apparel and into a nice pair of Hollister jeans and an in between dark and light blue sublime shirt that goes to his crotch. He looks damn good, too bad he doesn’t feel it. “Okay,” He exits the room and meets his friends. 

They all pile into Eren’s car, and the first thing Connie says is: “Fuck!” 

“What?” Eren didn’t react, just pulled out of the driveway. 

“I’m so mad, that’s what.” He says, but neither asked why. “Remember I said I don’t need her to love me? Well, I fucking lied. I lied and I will lie some more because she’s happy with horseface.” 

This wasn’t news to Mimi or Eren, he’s expressed his love for her on multiple occasions. It’s a wonder how Sasha never cared to notice or she’s genuinely friend-zoned him to hell. 

“Don’t you think it’s time you either just tell her straight up, or like, go to therapy and get over the feelings?” Mikasa asks, plugging her phone into the aux. “I’m just saying, a rebound might even be better than a therapist.” 

Connie huffs while Eren snorts. “Okay, like Armin isn’t a therapist and hasn’t given me the best damn advice.” 

“Well you haven’t quite asked him so explicitly, have you?” She returns, and he just grunts silently. “Well, a rebound might be good, if the healthier options don’t work out.”

“If I did tell her, it wouldn’t change a thing.” Connie grumbles. 

Eren had drowned the conversation out, he had no idea where he’s traveling but this is an adventure, right? No set destination, maybe they could go to the little patch of flat, high elevated earth (much like the max patch, but they don’t have time to travel to the east coast for that) and chill out there. 

“Eren,” Mimi pulls him from his thoughts. “Have you checked on Levi?” She was reluctant to ask, since it is the morning after the party. She had seen him maybe four or five hours prior to coming to Eren, and she didn’t really like explaining to his mother about the night before. 

He shook his head, “Should I?” 

“If you want, but he’s quite. . shaken up. You know, how Ymir was a couple years ago.” They hate bringing up her past, but it’s comparable. “But the worst part of it was telling Kuchel everything, her face--the pain in her eyes!” She covered her own as if she was staring at Medusa’s snakes. “She had even brought up Levi’s dad, how he lacked in teaching Levi how to defend himself.” 

Mikasa’s father taught her damn well how to protect her rights and body as a woman. She’s well rounded, she goes to the gym at least three times a week. She’s not built, she’s just got developed muscles. She still can’t take down Eren yet, but that’s what they’ve been working towards for months. 

“Well, this isn’t at all Levi’s fault.” Eren says. 

“Yeah, I mean, did you see how he was dressed? Even if he were wearing something a little more, I don’t know, provocative? Anyways, it doesn’t matter, Floche found him attractive and vulnerable and that’s what he went upon.” Connie counters. There was a reason the baldy was accepted into Grayce Academy. 

Eren nods in agreement, “It sucks.” 

Mikasa’s expression showed her emotions loud and clear, she’s surprised he didn’t have more to say about it. “That’s all?” Her mouth spoke without filter. 

“No,” Eren says simply, “No it isn’t all. Levi didn’t deserve that. And you both already know if I truly, and I mean really in my heart wanted to, I would drive straight to that ginger and finish the fight.” At this point, he began to question if it would be out of defense for Levi or his hatred towards Floche. 

They stopped at a flat area, resting underneath a tree and eating some Sonic. Eren chose the boneless wings and a hotdog with tots, Connie chose the footlong and tots and a large classic shake, while Mimi got a couple mozzarella sticks and boneless wings herself. They never felt bad in divulging in their comfort food and guilty pleasures. Sulking, they were almost sulking. Staring at the sky with no intention on moving, as that one song High-Tops (the acoustic version) played in the background underneath their chewing and rustling of wrappers and sips through straws. 

_ What a way to procrastinate, _ Eren thought. He glanced to the side, seeing Mikasa rest her head against Connie’s shoulder. He wondered if Mikasa was referring to herself as his rebound, but really he’d be Mikasa’s. Let’s just hope their entire friend group doesn’t break apart since they chose to date their best fucking friends. Eren’s never done that, Craig wasn’t much apart of their friend group because he’s a year older than the rest. 

And he hates he has to compare everything to him and Craig, because that’s the only relationship he knows. He didn’t have crushes, he didn’t have short term boyfriends, he didn’t have any of that. What he had, he developed love. A strong one, an as an Aries, he’s an all in or out person. He isn’t someone who likes to be in between when there could be something more or less. 

He can’t believe he allowed himself to remain as this walking corpse in the last year of his and Craig’s relationship. How idiotic, but love (let’s take the term lightly) makes you do wack shit. 

“Eren,” Connie calls. “We really should have met Levi under better conditions, and maybe he wouldn’t have felt so threatened by us.” 

Eren couldn’t have agreed more. All four of them are taller than he is, stronger in build (he has no clue how strong Levi actually is, but judging by his lack in defending himself he got a good guess), and they overall look scary. 

It wasn’t his anxiety that rendered him speechless, it was the way Connie’s golden hues transitioned to an almost Edward Cullen gold under the intense white bulbs and the shadows casting over his face made him seem like a serial killer. It wasn’t Jean’s looming height, it was how tight his jaw seemed and the half-lidded stare he gave Levi (when that’s just Jean’s face). Well, the only thing frightening about Armin is his buff appearance. 

Eren, what is there to say about himself? How would he begin to describe himself? He began with the fact they all have severe resting bitch face, and Eren wears it the best. So, there’s that. Oh! Levi’s strange admiration that he isn’t quite sure has faded or not. That could play a huge part in how the shorter acts around him and his friends. 

But Levi is a naturally anxious person, and Eren knew that way before he actually met him. 

He began to smile absentmindedly, thinking about Levi. He seen him walking around campus wearing his white ass hoodie. It almost went down to his mid thigh, and the sleeves were always covering his pretty hands. He knew Levi wasn’t really planning on giving it back. He liked the way Levi made him feel when he stayed until two or three in the morning, watching animated films. He complimented his cooking, and they laughed. They talked and laughed. 

He liked how Levi didn’t invade his personal space, he appreciated how Levi kept to himself most of the time. But they’ve only really known each other for a month now, it would be too soon (and in Eren’s case, inappropriate timing) to take some step forward. It has to be natural. 

Sort of like Connie and Mikasa’s budding relation natural, neither are forcing the actions and feelings. Eren doesn’t want to force Levi into liking him, especially with his admiration. That needs to fade. It needs to be  **_real._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts and feelings? i'd like to hear them, you all keep me going and i love hearing back !!! <3


	14. Italian Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long AS FRICCK but we're getting back to Eren's main point of this story because i've put it off long enough UGHHH but after this chapter...... ;)))

Levi sat with his head in his hands, he hasn’t showered in three days. He hasn’t ate a thing but maybe a chocolate shake from sonic and some ice, but other than that? Nothing. Anything else he tried to shove down his face hole had ended up in the toilet. He refused to talk about the incident, and had told his professors he’s suffering from a severe stomach bug and couldn't make it to the classes. They understood and told him to get well soon. He did his work as he should, and worked on the article.

As best as he could, but his mind kept running on a different path. He was invested in finishing this, as he’s four pages deep in information that he has to rework into a (at least) three thousand word column. He one hundred percent believes he wouldn’t be so stressed had he declined the assignment, but then he wouldn’t be so happy as well. Happy might be an overstatement, he’s content in his friendship with Eren.

Maybe he wished there was something more, but the more rational pieces tell him Eren would never like him.

He finally got word back from a few of Grisha’s teammates in the lab, and also Zeke’s assistant. They helped him debunk the entire Grisha’s team is the brains, while he’s actually the one putting together formulas. Zeke owns a couple of smaller businesses and helps family businesses as well, and people were claiming he was going to take over Washington much like Krista Lenz’s father has. The blond even offered to send one or two of Levi’s manuscripts to a publisher in his main office, talk about helping smaller people.

But also people were just outright saying the Jaeger boys are drug addicts, and he didn’t know if it was some rite of passage for them as teenagers or being in the spotlight, they had to do it. He never understood it.

All of it was just very stressful, but he sent a second draft to the professor to look over (because he knows she has the time) and left it at that.

“Levi,” Kuchel knocked on his door, and opened it a second later. “I made some pancakes.”

He’s starving, he hadn’t had a proper meal in three days. “Okay.” He nods and walks down to the kitchen. Lucas sits with an almost sympathetic and concerned expression, him being the more masculine brother, he doesn’t talk about his feelings or whatever. He tries to be everything Levi isn’t.

The plate stacked with two pancakes and strawberries and blueberries slid in front of him. He adores his mother’s cooking, and hopes it’ll all stay down. He got through a about a third of it and was stuffed, but to fill him up in time he grabbed a bowl and filled it with fruit and took it to his room.

It’s a sad, reoccurring scene in Levi’s life. To have himself cooped up in his bedroom, his safe place. And now it’s been endorsed by the incident the other night. He couldn’t stand looking at himself in the mirror, or any photo of himself really. He couldn’t bring himself to even get on his social medias, that’s how bad it has been.

It made him really sad, and the only thing that came close to actually cheering him up was Eren’s hoodie. Speaking of, he hasn’t talked to him since that night. He tapped his message thread, and saw the few texts waiting for Levi’s response. Eren was concerned, as he should be, but he neglected asking Levi any harsh questions.

 

   **_EREN_ ** _: (1)hey, how are you doing ? (2) hey, i know you’re probably asleep, but i just wanted to apologize for what you had to see. (3) hope ur doing ok_

 

What a softie, really. He smiled to himself, _he cares._ He actually was confused by Eren’s actions, why he would just lay his hands on someone he doesn’t know, but he defended him. He owes him thanks.  

 

**_REPLY_ ** _: thanks for checking on me, i am fine._

 

Why is he lying? What’s the point in lying to Eren? To himself? He backtracked and wrote a new.

 

_i’m doing as one should expect, i’m really freaked out but i’ll get by eventually. i’m sorry you had to defend me, it’s embarrassing i couldn’t defend myself._

   

His anxiety made him regretting tapping send. He tossed it beside his body and curled up in Eren’s hoodie, beginning the process of rewatching The Vampire Diaries for what could be the hundredth time now.

After knowing the type of person Damon turns out to be, he couldn’t help but smile at his actions towards Elena. The soft part of him as she’d slap or scold him, how he couldn’t be selfish with her. It made his heart happy, but also sad. He wants something like that. Something so passionate, but at the same time, something like a best friend in a boyfriend. He wants to love and be loved, it seems like too much to ask in this world. But he doesn’t know how to relationship. He’d have to google it.

 

   **_EREN_ ** _: want to come over? i’ve got to show you something_

 

His heart leaped once more, but Eren kind of dismissed Levi’s own apology. He must’ve thought nothing of it, so he responded with a ‘sure’ and just exchanged his pajama bottoms for a pair of sweatpants. As if that changed his appearance at all. He stayed in Eren’s hoodie, this would be his chance to give it back, well, _he’ll try to._

 

He found his mother intently working in her study, and opted to just send her a text rather than bother her in the middle of work. He slid out the door and began to drive. It’s about time he sees Eren. . . and he sounds like a desperate, delicate boyfriend. He cringed at himself, thinking about how clingy he might be in a relationship. He would be clumsy, clingy, and really insecure (as if he wasn’t already).

He knocks on the door, and it almost immediately opens with a very excited looking Eren with dry paint on his hands and clothes.

“Hi,” Eren smiles small, “Come on.” He tugged gently on Levi’s sleeve and lead him through the hall. “Okay, close your eyes.”

Levi hesitates as they stop at the door, but does as told. He could hear Eren shuffling in front of him and then the door opens. Eren’s hands gently lead Levi to a spot in the room, hearing the taller boy bump into objects before he positioned Levi.

“You can open them now.”

Levi didn’t know what to expect, but whatever he’s done is something brilliant. The evidence doesn’t lie. He removed his hands slowly, gaping at the floor. The floor that once was covered in bold white lettering or shaping is now covered with a black border and a mural in the center of the room. It’s beyond words, it’s _phenomenal_.

“Wow,” He whispers in awe, crouching down to see closer. The flowers look so soft, they’re so beautiful, so alive. The stems are white even, everything is white if not black or grey. There’s a hint of green lining the foot of the mural, the sky is a mixed midnight blue and black with a neon bolt of lightning fading in the background.

“What do you think?” Eren asks.

“How long have you been working on this?”

Eren smiled, “Three days. I didn’t think it’d look like this in the end. I really thought it would’ve stayed at the flowers and kind of blurred effect, but my hands had other plans.” He chuckles softly. “So. . ?”

He urged Levi for an answer, but he’s at a loss. “It’s. . it’s so pretty.” He mumbles, “I-I mean, it’s more than pretty, I just, this is just so-- _pretty._ ”

“Pretty like you.”

A raging blush eased on Levi’s cheeks before his brain could totally process what Eren really said. He looks up, watching Eren maneuver around and wipe his hands off on some white rags and organize his paints and brushes. He looks so damn cute, that red rag hanging from his ripped jeans back pocket and paint staining almost every inch of the fabric. He doesn’t look famous, he doesn’t look like a doctor, he just looks like Eren.

“Eren,” Levi absentmindedly calls. All he could do is stare at him from his position on the floor, he felt too vulnerable. “I just, I want to thank you for what you did for me. And. . I really hate that you, um, you had to lay hands on him. .” He looks to the side with glazed eyes, feeling guilty once again. It never quite stopped.

Eren immediately gave him his full attention, “Levi, I need you to know it wasn’t your fault that he did what he did.” His voice is so soft yet stern. “What he did was inexcusable, and he had it coming sooner or later if I’m honest.”

Levi was able to get a dry, humorless chuckle out, but couldn’t stop the tears. “I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He mumbles, a gentle hand resting on his knee. Levi’s red eyes stare at the contact, not a single thought ran through his mind other than how badly he wished he could wrap himself in Eren’s arms. Platonic cuddles, yeah, him and Isabel do it all the time. Eren gave a few soft pats to Levi's thigh and mumbled he'd be back. Levi continues to stare down at the mural, and somehow felt more whole.

The pair enter the den. Levi sat with his knees tucked into his chest and cheek resting on those knees, and all Eren could do is think about how adorable he looks in his hoodie. Eren's smile faded, he wants to erase Floche’s touch. He wants to erase Levi’s memory of that night. He can’t stand how Levi blames himself for that bastard’s actions.

“How’s that article going?”

Levi shrugs, “It’s going.” The same response he has each time. “I mean, it’s going fine! It’s great, I think, well there’s a lot I need to reduce and simplify.” He stammers, and it makes Eren smile. “I like writing about your family, you all are very kind people.”

Eren’s smile faded slightly, “You are the only one who seems to think we are.” He instantly regrets saying it while Levi’s face falls, and Eren cringed. “Gah, I’m sorry. I do that sometimes.”

Levi giggles, “What? Make self-deprecating jokes like everyone else does? It’s fine.”

Eren gives him a half smile, “I see you really like wearing that,” God, if Eren could have been more obvious it would’ve hurt his ego.

He glances down himself, tugging at the sleeves then his mouth opens, “I-I meant to give it back. I did, I’m sorry for keeping it for so long.”

“No worries, I like how it looks on you.” The second complement in the span of an hour?

“I never quite asked,” Levi mumbles, realizing how idiotic it would be to ask now but he has to. “Are you into men?”

Eren bit back his laughter, but failed as he snorted. “I thought I was obvious.” He says with a smirk, “No, no, I am not so arrogant. I mean, yes, I’m into men. I never wanted my sexual preference to be the most noticeable thing about me. I guess.” He seemed physically pained to even say he’s into men.

Levi’s brows furrow, he wondered if maybe Eren’s been shamed for his preference, or maybe if the media knew then he’d be shamed by millions of people. It must be difficult to live like that, fearing the hate so he conceals himself from the media. He’s so strong, mentally and physically. He admires that so much about Eren.

“So, have you decided whether you’re going to Arizona?” Eren shifted in the sofa, half facing Levi.

Levi rested his cheek on his knee and stared back at Eren, half wanting to ask why Eren why he was so interested in him and the other half wanted to cuddle. “I. . I don’t know what I want yet, and I know I have to come to a decision soon. Much sooner than I think I’ll be able to. With school and all, I don’t know how I can even go.” He released a dry chuckle, removing his gaze and running a hand through his hair. “It’s stressful, losing your best friend and then they just turn around and try to act like nothing ever happened.”

Eren might be able to relate, but his parents never left him. At least not intentionally. He sighs, “Be patient with him. At least he’s trying, and I doubt the past nineteen years of your life were wasted.”

Weren’t they though? “Yeah.” He says instead, averting his gaze to the floor. He felt another shift in the sofa and Eren was inches away.

“You can’t blame yourself for all the actions other people take against you, or feel like you’re the reason things go wrong.” Eren says in a quiet tone, “You are quite the amazing person, I’m sorry a lot of shitty things have happened to you.”

Levi’s lips parted in what he thought to be shock, Eren’s so close to him right now. He’s being so kind, he’s speaking words Levi needs to hear from someone other than his mother. He blinked once, unable to speak properly and then huffs at his incompetence to form a sentence.

“I’m sorry,” He apologizes once more. “But, thanks for being here.”

He gives him a soft nod. “No problem.”

* * *

Levi sat with his uncle in the small waiting room on the third floor, where there’s vending machines and tables. A coffee maker and other necessities one would need in a hospital.

Kenny had been particularly worried about Jenna, so much happened at once and none of them could handle it. She was talking, laughing, and then suddenly stopped. Her lips turned white and her face turned this disgusting in between of purple and blue, and she began gasping for air. He was just hanging out with Eren last night, laughing and having fun, and now this? 

Pieck and another male doctor did all they could, hooking her up to an oxygen tank and tube down her throat or whatever it is they do for people who can’t breathe on their own. Levi wasn’t present for the event, and is glad he wasn't. He couldn’t imagine it, what must’ve went through their minds.

“That damn Jaeger boy isn’t here.” Kenny says with anger, “He’s her primary care, and hasn’t been here in the past four days! Feel like this all could’ve been avoided had he been doing his job.”

Levi glared at his uncle, but it faltered after a second. “You remember he’s a college student as well, yeah?”

Kenny scoffs, “He doesn’t act like one.”

The pair sit in another silence. They haven’t been so close, as Levi grew up he just strayed away from his uncle and more towards his dad, but then he left. He left and didn’t bother looking back, either. Moving down south and already building another life for himself, why was it so easy for him to forget about Levi? At least him and Lucas took their mother’s maiden name, not their father’s name.

Levi looked up just in time to see Eren, but he didn’t look very happy or even alive. His tan skin oddly pale and he seemed ungodly tired. Before Eren made his way over, he had gotten distracted by a shorter nurse, and he didn't seem all to pleased. That Pieck girl is the one who interrupted it, basically begging Eren to let go whatever argument they were having.

Levi turned his attention to his phone, looking back through his. . nothing. His phone wasn’t even on and it ruined the entire _‘I wasn’t really looking, but I was and don’t want you to think I was’_ thing.

“Mr. Ackerman,” Eren approaches the tall man that’s seated in the chair. “I got word of Jenna’s condition, and looking over the CT scans there’s nothing here that shows something wrong.”

He tried his best to hold onto his patience, “But what can we do? She is breathing out of tubes!”

“I understand your stress, sir.” He says in a sigh, obviously being passive. “But I also have to do my job and right now, nothing is doing her good by waiting for another method. The cell replacement surgery is going to take place even if we went another route, because those are all temporary.”

“The cell replacement is just as temporary.” He counters.

Eren seems to be losing his patience, “But it also gives her more than a couple months. It gives her years of life, and that’s what we’re trying to give her so she isn’t here anymore.”

Kenny seems defeated by the argument, inhaling deeply. Even breathing on his own seems like an insult to her. “Alright, fine fine. We should do it.”

Eren seemed physically relieved, even releasing a heavy breath. “Good, good.” He mumbles before walking away with Pieck.

Levi looks back to his uncle, “Are you all right?”

Kenny waves it off, “Yeah, just tired.”

“I can stay here, if you need.” Levi offers, but it was more of a plea than anything. “You need rest.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” He stood and looks at the digital clock from the wall, “Tell Kensa I took the car, and if she needs anything then she can ask you.”

Levi chuckles, “Okay.” He heads down the hall with his nose in his phone. He scans a document he is going to send in to be graded for class, his eyes could actually bleed from how much he's been reading and writing in the past few days. He enters the somewhat large room, and cringes at Jenna’s current state. He felt heartbroken, getting the message about her condition from his mother around seven this morning. She had left for work and he was curled up on the couch watching reruns of Saturday Night Live.

He couldn’t stay in that room any longer, and steps out to see Eren in the window seal at the end of the hall with a forlorn expression. Levi had the nerve to approach him, he doesn't know how to comfort someone when he doesn't know their comfort words, foods, or places.

“Hey,” Levi greets softly, and the brunet only looks at him through his eyelashes and fallen strands of hair. “How are you?”

Eren would have laughed at how idiotic of a question that is, but he didn’t. “M’fine, stress, the usual.” Their conversations have resulted to this in public? “I know this probably isn’t the easiest thing for you, either. How are you doing?” Eren cleared his throat and rested his arms across his chest.

Levi shrugs, gulping back his anxiety. “Uh, yeah, it’s okay I guess.”

“It?” Eren holds back a smile, “It meaning the situation, or it meaning you?”

Levi chuckles at himself, “Both?”

Eren stares at him with a small smile, and they remain silent in a semi tense air, mostly because of Eren being in his work environment. Levi couldn’t stop his heart from accelerating at the speed of light the longer he stared into his eyes. They’re a perfect mix of glacier blue and clover green, they’re beautiful.

“Eren,” Thank god someone had the audacity to interrupt them.

The blonde he knew as Annie, and knew as Bert's girlfriend, approached. “Kenny signed the papers.”

“That’s excellent.” He says, standing to his full height. “When’s the surgery?”

“Well, we have to form the cells, so maybe Thursday?” Thursday, that’s three days from now.

Eren nods, “Alright, yeah.” He continues with a slow nod, then glances back over to Levi. “You want to get lunch later?”

The shorter boy stutters, but eventually sputters out an answer. “Yes, I do.” He manages. Eren’s smile grew and he nods.

“I’ll see you later.” He gives him a side glance as he walks beside Annie.

Levi was so fucking glad Eren couldn’t read his mind, or that he could see his current blush. He could’ve sworn his entire face is beet red. He rushes into the room, palms meeting in the middle of his face as he attempts to recollect himself. This isn’t a date, it’s just going out for lunch. Yeah, a friendly outing.

_But what if it isn’t?_

Levi could curse his anxiety for even questioning it, or bringing his dreams down. That’s exactly what they are, though, dreams. This is reality, and Eren doesn't want to be with somebody like Levi. Someone with such tiny goals, aspirations. Levi isn't curing people, he's just writing about them and doing a really shitty job at it. 

“What’s on your mind?” Kensa questions, and Levi just hums. “You’re excited for something, what is it?” Kensa is someone he can trust wholeheartedly, because she doesn’t make it her business to go around telling the entire family. He sits down on the sofa beside her, and she closed her book.

“Eren,” He says in a low, shaky voice. “My assignment for journalism, remember it? Well, we’ve gotten to this friendship stage. He just asked if I wanted to go for lunch with him and I'm internally freaking out." 

Kensa stares with a surprised face, her thick brows raised slightly and lips parted ever so slightly. She sighs and purses her lips, officially closing the novel and adjusting in her seat. “Levi,” He can already hear the following words before she even speaks them. “You know, we love and care about you and you can do whatever you want, but-”

“But it’s because I’ve never been with anyone.”

“You know,” Her voice increases in pitch, “Eh-it is more than that. You’ve got anxiety and depression, your parents just divorced and everything.” She points out the obvious. 

Well, he asked Eren if he was gay after the taller had dropped many hints of it previously, Levi's just too blind to see it. He did say he never wanted it to be a noticeable feature about him. Eren's been overly flirtatious in the past couple of days (before the incident as well), had Levi trust missed all of this because he wasn't ever used to someone telling him those things? Fuck you, anxiety. 

He was about to text the boy, then received a message from him.

  

   _**EREN** : i can drive us, save gas and stuff. _

 

Levi smiled subconsciously, and typed a simple ‘ok’. Eren had mentioned to meet in the lobby. He hopped in the elevator with that same nurse that made Eren upset earlier. It wasn’t awkward, but the tapping of the keyboard and occasional glare he’d send Levi was nerve racking. Thank fuck it was only a ten second ride, and seeing Eren’s face flushed away all insecurities. Before he could walk towards him, the seemingly older male had bumped his shoulder and mumbled a very unapologetic apology.

“Hey,” Eren sighs lightly. “You all right?”

The question startled him, “Ye-uh, yeah, why? Do I look okay?”

He shook his head, “No, you just don’t seem very excited I guess? I’ve gotten used to that.” He mutters the end of his sentence, and it threw Levi off even more. _Whoa, way to make an observation subtle._

The car ride was definitely not silent. First it started off soft, with a little bit of The 1975, then Billie Eilish by Levi’s request, and then went harder like some Jack Harlow and Future by Eren’s request. Levi didn’t feel a single ounce of anxiety the entire time, it all feels so natural.

They pull into the parking lot of Visconti’s Italian restaurant. Levi’s eyes widen, he’s only ever been here once and it was a very long time ago.

“Are you seriously offering this for lunch?” Levi nearly laughs at how ridiculous the pick is.

Eren looks at him, “Yeah. It’s on me, and one of my favorites.” His smirk doesn’t fade while he softly tugged on Levi’s sleeve. He’s happy he’s walking behind Eren, so he can’t see the raging blush on his pale face.

He observes the beautiful area, it’s been years since he’s been here--and a long while since he’s been to a proper restaurant. Pizza station doesn’t count.

“It’s so pretty,” Levi comments in awe. They sat down in a booth, and received menus from the waiter. They order their drinks and get breadsticks, then go about figuring out what to eat.  

“What do you recommend?” Levi questions, earning his beautiful eyes. “I haven’t been here since I was, like, eleven. It’s been a while.”

Eren nods, looking down the menu. “What are you a fan of? Broccoli, tomato?” The way he says the word ‘tomato’ is so fucking adorable he can’t even process it. “One that I personally liked was the Visconti _Spaghet_ with prawns, fucking A-1, mate.” He gestures with his hands.

“Wow,” He says, “What’re you getting?”

Eren hums with a shrug. “Right now I’m leaning more towards the Cannelloni, I’ve had it like twice and I can’t remember how much I like it.”

“So you’re just getting it to remember if you like it?”

He shrugs. “Essentially.” He earns a soft laugh from Levi, and then sets aside the menu. Eren sat there and admired Levi’s concentrated features, once again. The slight bump between his somewhat thick brows, and how his near sapphire eyes look behind those round, wire frames. He’s so pretty.

Levi smiled small at Eren, tugging on the sleeves of his (Eren’s) hoodie and rested his chin in his hands. “Do you enjoy these kind of restaurants? Like, the fancy, hanging daggers kinda shit?”

Eren laughs lightly, “Are they so bad? It’s like my dungeon.” He smirks, “I’m kidding, I ain’t Lord Farquaad. That’s you.”

Levi snorted and his water nearly choked him as he laughed. “That was clever.”

“I know.”

“Isabel told me you two mended things.” 

Eren nods. “Yeah. I guess we just needed time together. I think everyone needs it with someone they love a lot, but can’t properly execute their emotions.”

He nods in agreement, thinking about his dad. He misses him a lot, and he has the chance to see him but he keeps putting it off. _Why?_ “I want to see my dad, I think.”

"Don't force yourself to be in an environment you don't want to be in. It'd be your first time out of state, don't waste it." Eren speaks words of the wisest fucking owl. Maybe he speaks out of experience, but still--he's still smart.

Levi huffs at himself in embarrassment. He didn’t know why, but he felt like shit. He has for the past ten years. “I’m sorry, I’m so weird.”

Eren smirks, "You apologize a lot." 

"It's one of my quirks." Levi says before he could filter himself, now he sounds like he has a finsta (he does, but nobody ever talks about it). "I-I'm sorry." 

Eren laughed aloud. His smile was nearly ear to ear, revealing those pretty white teeth. It's refreshing to see his smile in such a hard time for the both of them. He came to an understanding that Eren was not just connected to Jenna in more ways than one, the fact he knew the girl while she was in the womb makes it clear. Levi also knew Eren's duties as Jaeger, he doesn't take his job lightly. 

"Levi," 

"Yeah?" 

Eren couldn't hide his cute ass smile, "You're just cute."  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh sorry this update took five-ever, I took a break from writing for mental health :,( but here is this slow burn relationship because i dont know how to write fluff and first kisses :))))))))


	15. Bowling Buddies

Eren can’t stand the tension between his chest and brain, it’s like his two worst fears are colliding even though that isn’t what this is. It’s him not wanting to hurt or be hurt. Levi wouldn’t hurt him in the long run. He  _ knows _ that. 

But does it stop him? Hell no. It never has before, why start now? Why start bringing old insecurities to the surface? He’s not a quitter, he’s a go-getter. Might as well ask him on a date, right? What could go wrong? (Anything and everything could go wrong, but Eren is a master at avoiding situations.)

Then again, he needs to be in the labs working, preparing for Jenna’s surgery that is two days away. He knows the drill, he’s watched his father’s clips a hundred times over, yet still doubts himself. That’s something he needs to be doing.  

 

**_TO LEVI:_ ** _ hey, i know this is sudden and all, but do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?  _

 

Technically, it could and couldn’t be considered an actual date. Since tomorrow’s plans are with the gang, so a friendly thing. Bowling is one of the most common first dates. Something cute for social media;  _ wholesome. _

Levi was stupid slow with his response, very unlike him. Eren went through each excuse, and now is the moment he has a mini heart attack. He blasted Cuco and started cleaning. The entire house. 

Harvey had questions, but noted many years ago Eren’s anxious habits. He left it be. However, not for long. “Eren, dammit!” He enters the brunet’s room with an irritated expression, “I don’t know what has you so damn wired at eleven in the morning, but please--for the love of all that is holy--be quiet.” 

It was sudden, but not unheard. Eren’s eyes round out and he releases a heavy breath, nodding. 

“Wait,” Harvey groans, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. “You’re nervous. What’s wrong?” 

He puffs his cheeks at first, then seems to contemplate telling Harvey at all. “I asked Levi out on a date.” The truth always finds its way out of his mouth. 

Harvey bit down on his bottom lip in contemplation and surprise. Levi is the last person Eren would ever consider dating. Harvey  _ knows  _ Eren. He knows he is in all in or out person, and how damaging that humongous piece of Eren can truly be. 

“Okay, uhh, what kind of date?” 

“Just with the gang, not like a one on one thing I suppose.” 

He could work around that. He remembers the confusion Levi felt, after receiving his hoodie. He asked Harvey how to deal with the emotions, but both Eren and Levi are close to the boy in between. He can’t realistically pick a side. It doesn’t stop him from giving them advice though. 

“Okay, but this is  _ Levi  _ we’re talking about.” He reminds. “Levi is delicate, he is soft and smart and cool, and he’s, well, he’s—“ 

“Harvey.” Eren calls. “I know. Trust me, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be doing this. I need to move on anyways, Craig has.”  _ Good for him.  _ “And so I need to. He never loved me anyways.” 

Harvey just stares, an empty and blank stare. He didn’t say a word. He knows Eren inside out, but right now it felt like he’s hearing from a secondary source. Like a really shitty tape recorder on a loop, and it’s getting harder to understand as it keeps playing. 

The entire speech gave Harvey deja-vu when Eren tried to convince himself to break up with Craig a year ago. But obviously he didn’t until a handful of months ago. 

Eren sounds unsure, that’s what he’s trying to get at. 

“Okay.” Is all he said and walked out. 

Eren took the hint of irritation that radiates off Harvey like he’s the sun himself. He didn’t like making people upset just as much as he didn’t like a fight. As a kid, he got sort of a high from making people angry. That’s the very tamed fire inside him (that can reignite at any time). He’s not as feisty he once was. 

He couldn’t just sit and wait, he’d tear himself apart. So, he dressed properly and got in his car and began driving downtown. 

It’s sunny and warm, people are out enjoying the day, kids playing with their dogs or other kids. Thin shirts and shorts, ahh yes. This is his weather. 

He adjusts his sunglasses and walks through the crowded pathways, as warm bodies stand at different venues or chat idly. He adored the city coming together like this, it fills his heart with memories he didn’t even know he had. 

He stuffed his hands in his pockets, standing at the fork in the path and scanned the few vendors. There’s one about insurance, a whole ass pizza station promo tent. Then he spots a sweeter boot, and the person working behind it is just as sweet. 

A smile crept on the taller’s features, slowly approaching the booth. Levi looks good in a white shirt. With the few slits in it to give that destroyed look. His black hair ruffled and looks softer than ever, falling over his sapphire eyes. He looks soft, cute; serving bad-boy vibes.

“White looks good on you.” Eren finally said, approaching with a geeky, charming smirk, while his eyes absorb a tinted version of Levi.

The shorter’s head shot up, “Eren.” Surprise and relief never sounded so cute. “What’re you doing here?” 

His smile didn’t fade. “Just wandering, but now that I see you’re working here…” He drifts as he looks down at the items, “I might stay a bit longer.” 

Levi’s heart sped up, heat going straight to his cheeks. “Oh really? Sounds kinda lame.” 

“Your self deprecating jokes aren’t getting any better.” Eren hums, earning a soft laugh from Levi. “So anyways, have you checked your phone?” 

Levi’s hands patted his waist, “No, I haven’t. Should I?” He looked around seemingly for his phone, but Eren halted his actions. 

“Uh, well, I’m here now.” He rushes, cringing immediately. “I could just ask now.” 

“Yeah?” Levi urges. 

“Um,” he runs a hand over his face and scoffs lightly, “Some friends of mine are going bowling tomorrow night. Wanna be my plus one?” 

_ Smoothly played Mr. Jaeger, smoothly played. _ Levi looked at his watch, then put his apron on the side and brought in a taller, somehow younger version of himself in. 

“So, I’ve been bowling a lot. I am champion bowler in my family.” Levi proudly brags. 

Eren smirks, “I’ve been loads of times when my friends had nothing better to do. But I wouldn’t call myself a very good bowler.” 

“Bowling is so fun, and easy.” Levi splurged on how he gets his angles just right, then went on about how it isn’t rocket science. “Well, why do you go if you believe you’re no good?” 

Eren shrugs. “Something to do, but I won’t let my words speak for my actions.” 

Levi nods, mostly to himself, and they take a seat on the bench under a couple of trees. “Tomorrow night, hmm.” He hums, teasing Eren with an answer. “Maybe, let me ask my mom.” 

“You still ask your mom?” He laughs. 

Levi’s cheeks heat up, “N-no, I still live with her. And I’m nineteen, so technically can’t make my own choices yet.” 

Eren’s jaw nearly drops, he’s still nineteen?! Well, could’ve fooled him. “You’re born on Christmas, so. .” He drifted as he did the math. “Oh, yeah, if we’re born the same year that makes me older.” 

Levi chuckles with a soft ‘yes’ coming after. “I thought you’d be better at math than you show.” 

“Hey, listen-” He earns laughter, “-I’m excellent at math. I’m like extravagant.” Vine references really get to Levi. He should have a high bar for comedic value, but meme review and twitter in general has just ruined all chances of having anywhere close to an appropriate sense of humor. 

“Extravagant. That’s hilarious.” Levi comments. They sit in silence, waiting for Levi to answer the question. “I know I’m not supposed to ask another question when I’ve been asked something, but it needs to be done.” 

Eren hums with a nod. “Of course.” 

Levi took a deep breath, looking away from Eren’s brilliant eyes because he absolutely knows he won’t be able to ask straight if he keeps staring. “Is tomorrow night, like, some kind of date?” 

Eren sat on that question, contemplating if he really wanted to take that large step. He discussed it with Harvey, so he needs to trust himself too.

“I suppose. If you’re okay with it.” 

Levi buried his face in his hands, he couldn’t believe his ears. He shifted slightly then returns his gaze to Eren, who--of course--holds that same charming smile. 

“Yes, I’ll go on a date with you.” Levi says softly. 

Eren’s smile grew from charming to downright kiddish excitement. The urge to hold Levi’s tiny hand was strong, but not strong enough he’d disrespect his space. He just nods and leans back on the bench. Levi’s shoulder pressed up against his bare arm, and it felt so good. It would feel good to have this pressed against him every night. 

Indeed, it would feel great. 

* * *

Yeah. Levi’s freaking out, but what’s the point now? He tore his closet apart once more, settling on a Stranger Things t-shirt which is soon covered with Eren’s hoodie. 

He questioned himself if this was a smart choice. If his friends would notice it or not? He doesn’t know. Oh well. 

Fuck it, fullsend. 

“Hey, Levi-” Kuchel stops in her tracks as she eyes the boy. Her once bored expression turns into a teasing one, “Where are you going?” 

He ran a hand through his hair. “Out with some friends.” 

“I know when you’re lying to me, I raised you.” She leans against the wall, “Spill it.” 

Oh, yeah. He still had yet to tell his mom about Eren. The only person that knows is Kensa, and he really hasn’t had the chance to talk to her. 

“I’m going on a date.” He admits, and her glow is just too overwhelming. “But it’s just one, and we’re friends.” How could he convince her that if he didn’t believe it himself? 

“No, no. You wouldn’t be dressed in someone else’s hoodie and those jeans if it were a friendly thing. I did that with your dad all the time.” The first time she’s mentioned really any good memories with his dad. It surprised both of them. 

“I don’t know,” he says quietly. “I really like him, and he asked me first. How do I do this?” 

Kuchel wasn’t an expert in knowing how to do  _ this _ . She tried her damn best on researching the community and tried helping Levi as best she could, but realized he also needed to learn for himself. 

“I don’t really know, babe.” She sighs as well. “I don’t claim to know everything, this is something you need to do on your own.” 

“Okay, yeah, you’re right. I can do this.” 

She smiles. “You can do this.” 

He repeated that confidence booster line in his head over and over again, building it up as far as it can go. He didn’t want to appear cocky, he just wants to have a good time with good people. Knowing the kind of people he’s going with, he feels safe. 

  
  


The safety thing deflated after Levi learned the rules of their game. So, whoever doesn’t strike has to headbutt the previous person who didn’t strike. It’s always Connie and Jean, though, but it still doesn’t make Levi fear a little for his poor head. 

“It’s a shame none of you fuck yo or something,” Connie rubbed his bald head, eyeing the group. “I want food.” 

Annie hums in response, sipping her drink and sliding a foam to-go box in front of him. “That’s from Olive Garden, but you can have overpriced pizza if you want.” 

He followed her gesture to the food court on the other side. “As if Olive Garden’s not overpriced italian food, you weirdo.” 

“This is quality.  _ That _ is just cardboard with too much cheese on it.” Her comeback made the entire group chuckle or release some sound of amusement. 

Eren sat with his arm slung loosely behind Levi’s chair. The shorter leaned into his side, and out flew all his insecurities. Eren’s friends don’t care what they are, at least not right now. Levi listened to the conversations around the table, mostly coming from Connie and Sasha. 

Their relationship seemed strained, at least one side does. Connie seemed to be in a distant world, and Sasha never noticed. The rest do though. He quickly picked up the reasoning when the bald boy’s eyes doused after Jean wrapped his arms around the brunette. 

Eren seemed to absentmindedly do the same thing. His hand landed on Levi’s side and pulled him closer. Levi’s cheeks heat up, but he accepted it. 

But there was still the ghostly fingers of the unwanted touching from the other night. He almost scooted away from Eren, but fought his anxiety. He placed his hand on Eren’s lower thigh. 

“Hey,” Annie says, “Has Bert talked to any of you guys?” Her blue eyes narrow as she meets everyone across the table. 

Eren shakes his head, “Last I heard from him was two days ago.” 

Levi was shocked. He talks to Bert almost every hour of everyday. Is that weird? Obviously this group has no issue not texting or talking everyday, they’re just such a tight group of friends. Despite the obvious distance between a few. 

Eren leans in a little, “We’re gonna bounce.” 

The group whines and complains, Levi looking at him with light confusion. 

“What?! Come on! At least one more round.” Sasha whines. 

Eren shakes his head as he stands, tossing down at most two hundred in cash for the previous three rounds. “This is like poker, I’m gonna be bone dry before I leave.” The few look glum, but accept this and allow him to leave. Levi gives soft goodbyes to the group as he and Eren make their way to the car in the lot. 

“That was quick,” Levi comments (despite being there for two and a half hours). 

Eren nods with a small smirk, “You are a champion bowler.” 

“Listen, you scored more strikes than me, so you aren’t complete shit like I thought.” Levi giggles, earning a soft laugh from Eren. 

The ride was short, filled with Mac Miller and 88rising, and they pull into Eren’s drive. The only lights on are the porch lights and the lamps in the living room. 

Poetry by Wrabel plays in the background, to which Levi turned the radio up just slightly. Eren thought over this moment over and over again the entire way him, and is partly the reason he wanted to leave so early. Levi is special, and he wants to show him that. 

“Did you enjoy tonight?” 

Levi rested his head against the seat, “Yeah, thanks for inviting me.” 

Eren smiled, but had nothing to say. Why are these moments so awkward? Why can’t he just man up, make the first move? He has thus far, what’s stopping him? 

“Wanna come inside?” He questions with hopes he says yes. 

“Sure.” 

Oh, Eren hasn’t felt like this in so long. It’s been years, yeah, five years since he felt this giddy inside. 

The pair slip their shoes off at the entrance, Eren’s jacket slides off and onto the hook. Levi opted to keep the hoodie on, since he gets cold more often than not. The brunet turned with a ghost of a smile. 

“So, movie time or do you want to work on your essay thingy?” 

Levi hasn’t expected to be met with some questions like that, after their time at the bowling alley. He really didn’t know what to expect anymore. “Let’s watch a movie?” 

Eren tried to hold it together, but not five seconds later he burst into laughter. Levi just stared with mock irritation and crossed his arms. Eren caught this and came closer to him, still giggling. 

“Aw, don’t be like that.” He says, one hand coming to cup Levi’s cheek. It’s a bit of a tease, as he just left it at that and sifted through his movies for the hundredth time. 

The contact made Levi’s heart leap. And so did Eren pulling him closer each opportunity he got. 

“You know, I never understood why people would get curious and investigate why a demons in an inanimate object.” Levi confessed, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth. 

Eren shrugged. “I think they just want something cool to talk about.” 

“Well what about when the demon literally drags them out of bed?! What about then?” The raven counters. “I’d rather avoid anything witchy or supernatural if it means I can stick one foot out from under my blanket.” 

This comment caused Eren another fit of laughter. The brunet tilted his head back, rocking his head to touch Levi’s from the side. He breathed lightly down the raven’s neck, but didn’t touch him. 

What a tease, Mr Jaeger. 

“Hey, I’ve got something for you.” Eren says with a smile. 

“Oh?” 

“Mhm, follow me.” Leaving the paranormal movie behind, Levi trailed behind Eren to his bedroom which he hasn’t seen before. He enters the cozy room, it’s quite large, it’s just cluttered. 

“You know, I’m like ten sizes smaller than you.” Levi chuckles as he watches Eren sort through his closet. 

He turned around with a dark blue and black tie-dye hoodie with  _ Rick and Morty _ printed on it. “I think this might look better.” 

He eyed the article of clothing for a moment, sighing and removing the other hoodie. He adjusts the hood around his neck, and surprisingly this fits better. It’s smaller, the sleeves end just before his knuckles and it’s not so thick. 

“And you wear this?” Levi’s brows raise. 

Eren shrugs, “I did when I wasn’t so big.” He says that as if he’s fat or something. “Hm, not bad.” 

Levi’s cheeks heat up, this is the second one he’d given him. What’s this? Isn’t this a big step in a relationship, sharing clothing? “Eren,” He calls softly, and the taller just meets his gaze. 

Silent, neither spoke or wanted to. Their hearts beat like drums in their chests they were sure the other could hear. Eren took a step forward, and Levi stayed put. Silently asking for permission to invade his space, Levi simply gave a half smile. 

Levi’s chin tilted more and more until the boy was hovering over him, his hands grip his sleeves tightly to release some nerves. “Eren.” He says his name once more, feeling his large, tan, muscular hand brush against his cold cheek. He leaned into the touch, eyes fluttering shut with a feeling so foreign, so good. 

“Levi,” Eren echoes, leaning down until his forehead nearly touched his. “I won’t do it without consent.” He whispers.

Levi hasn’t kissed anyone, but by god he’ll learn tonight. His hands grip Eren’s shirt and he gently pushes his lips to meet Eren’s. The kiss lasted for a few seconds, it was filled with the awkwardness of first kisses just as much as the thrill of the first kiss. 

Levi felt like he was soaring through the sky, Eren being the only piece holding him to the ground. Eren being the only thing reminding him this is real life. 

And Eren being the first person he’s decided to give his all to. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i’m back??? i’m in florida on vacay and i couldn’t sleep, and i’ve been dying to get this chapter out!!! i love it, eh, it’s not my favorite but at least my dumbass could get them to kiss finally!!! 
> 
> sorry for being gone for forever :,( but!! i have another work up that’s from my wattpad, it’s called Sin. It’s a Levi x Reader, but no reader insert.  
> other than that, all is well! including my mental health :)) so, kudos and comments is greatly appreciated. tysm to those who read, you push me to write my best !


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